Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

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A Meek and Quiet Spirit, Part 1

June 9, 2008 by Marissa 2 Comments

When I recently ordered the Maxwell’s scheduling book (Managers of Their Homes), I noticed another book on Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit, by Teri Maxwell. No thanks, I thought. You see, I’m planning on homeschooling three days a week with an angry and resentful spirit. Who wants to be meek and quiet? Doesn’t sound like it would serve my interests all that well. It was about at that point in the train of thought that I realized I must immediately click “Add to Cart.” And I’m really glad I did.

I would definitely recommend this book to any homeschooling mother OR any mom who struggles with keeping her sanity, let alone a meek and quiet spirit, during long days at home with preschoolers. I’ve learned so much already from this book, and I haven’t even gotten to Chapter 6: Hard Work and Dying to Self. I know that one is going to hurt tomorrow morning and will probably result in the post, A Meek and Quiet Spirit, Part 2 (why I changed my mind about this book). Ha ha!

I have learned so much from her discussion of “meek and quiet spirit robbers” such as fear and worry, disorganization, and anger. I have been reminded several times by this book that my children are watching the way I deal with worries and how I control (or fail to control) my anger and frustration. All of my teaching on self-control won’t do any good if I don’t exhibit it myself!

In her chapter on Anger, Maxwell writes about having high goals and low expectations for our kids. Low expectations should not be confused with permissiveness. But she points out that our children are just that–children. They are in the process of learning how to be godly adults (we hope), but they are still learning. So while we have lofty goals for our children’s obedience, kindness to others, self-control, responsibility, etc., we must understand that they are going to fall short of those goals. Our expectation is that they will disobey and require discipline from us. If I start my day knowing this, it will take away my shock that our son is yelling at his brother over a toy again and might help me keep my temper under control.

Maxwell also suggests having well-defined consequences mapped out for disobedience or irresponsibility. That way, there is no stress involved in figuring out how to handle disciplining a child. When the child disobeys, the consequence is given. That way, the consequence doesn’t depend on mom’s mood or how many times the infraction has occurred that afternoon, and everyone knows what to expect.

Maxwell also points out that anger is a choice. She gives the examples of not being as easily angered at church as we are at home, or yelling at our children until the phone rings and then answering the phone in a calm tone of voice. That was so convicting for me! It is a choice. And so often I choose poorly because I am trying to rely on my own strength. What I appreciate about this book is that it is not only giving me practical suggestions for how to deal with fear, disorganization and anger, but also reminding me that I will not do well at any of it if I am not relying on God’s grace and strength. His grace is sufficient!

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Filed Under: Faith, Parenting Tagged With: anger, homeschool, meekness, Parenting, Spiritual Growth, teri maxwell

Comments

  1. Missy @ It's Almost Naptime says

    June 12, 2008 at 9:09 am

    I am about to post on the books I am reading on heart based discipline but the book that is changing my life right now is called Good and Angry by Scott Turansky. I think you would like it.

    You can also get emails from his ministry http://www.biblicalparenting.org/ that are so good. Like here is one I just got:

    June 9, 2008

    Teaching Children About Anger

    Anger is a common problem in family life, especially among siblings. Although it’s very frustrating for parents, a wise mom or dad can use anger episodes to teach kids some valuable lessons about anger control and dealing with emotions.

    First, empathize with your child about the offense. “I can see why you’re upset. That makes sense.”

    Second, if the offender was wrong, acknowledge that fact. “Your brother was wrong to continue to tease you after you asked him to stop, but that doesn’t mean you can be mean to him.”

    This kind of statement is helpful because children often feel that their anger is justified when the other person is wrong. By agreeing that the other person is wrong, but still correcting for the angry response, the parent shows that a wrong action doesn’t justify unkindness in return. Children need to understand that even if the other person is wrong, their own response is very important.

    Third, talk about alternative responses. Children need to learn that sometimes they should confront and other times they should let the offense go. Romans 12:18 is a great verse for children caught in relational problems, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

    You can’t always change the other person, but you can control your response. God gave us anger and other emotions to help us sense things about life. Those who save up anger out of self-protection, however, are making a mistake. By teaching children how to respond to offenses, you’ll equip them with tremendous skills that they will use for the rest of their lives.

    For more ideas about emotions, consider the book Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

    Reply
  2. Lynette says

    June 13, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    Since I’m studying “Blessed are the meek” this week, I thought I’d share some tidbits from the D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones book on the Sermon on the Mount.
    “Meekness is essentially a true view of oneself, expressing itself in attitude and conduct with respect to others.” The Beatitudes make a natural progression–when we are poor in spirit, we see ourself as a vile sinner (we mourn), and this leads to meekness.
    “We leave ourselves and our cause, and our rights and everything with God, with a quietness in spirit and in mind and heart.”
    He goes on to explain that while in some sense “inherit the earth” is future to us, in some ways it is already here.
    “A man who is truly meek is a man who is always satisfied, he is a man who is already content.”

    In an earlier post, you wrote about how studying Matthew helped you be a better mom. I’m studying the Beatitudes this summer as I teach them to the kids. It is said that the best way to learn something is to teach it, and God really has some lessons for me as a wife and mom.

    I try and fail and try and fail to be patient with my kids and not to yell and to mete out discipline in a fair and consistent way. I’ve been reminded this week: “But ‘blessed are the meek’, not those who trust to their own organizing, not those who trust to their own powers and abilities and their own institutions. Rather it is the reverse of that.” I will try and fail over and over on my own strength. I’ve got to realize moment by moment that it is only by submitting my strength to God’s control that I will ever be consistent.

    When my first child was born, I was happy to quit work and be a stay-at-home mom. I thought I didn’t have any problems with giving up my “rights” and staying home with my kids. Well, here I am 5 years later. I get mad at my kids when they bother me because I have the “right” to be on the computer or to get 30 more minutes of sleep or to eat that piece of cake without anyone begging me for a bite. I’ve found I am fairly content with material things, but I am forever wishing for more time to myself. I’m still learning to die to self and to be satisfied with what God has given me–a wonderful Godly husband and two lovely children.

    I’ll close this too long comment with one last quote:
    [Meekness] “is a character that is produced in us by the Spirit. It is the direct fruit of the Spirit.”

    Reply

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Over the past few weeks, we’ve taken a deep dive Over the past few weeks, we’ve taken a deep dive into God’s providence: His sustaining power by which He governs and directs all things according to His purpose, without limit and throughout all eternity. When we talk about God’s providence, the question inevitably arises: What about human decisions?

I hate to disappoint you, but this topic has been debated for centuries and probably won’t be satisfactorily explained in this short devotional. 😝 But, as we should with any question we have about God, let’s turn to His Word and see how it shapes our thinking.

In Genesis 45, we find the words Joseph spoke to his brothers, years after they sold him into slavery in Egypt:

“And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life . . . So it was not you who sent me here, but God.” (Gen 45:5, 8a)

So who caused Joseph to end up in Egypt—God or Joseph’s brothers? Did Joseph’s brothers make a free and sinful choice to sell their brother into slavery? Yes, they did. Did God send Joseph to Egypt for the sake of His good plan to preserve His people? Yes, He did.

We tend to think of causality in human terms as a zero-sum game, meaning there can’t be two causes that are both 100% the cause of an event. But God’s causality is transcendent—it's not like human causality at all. There’s no zero-sum game between God’s providence and our freedom.

God’s Word teaches both the total sovereignty of God and the freedom of His creatures. As we consider this mystery, we must also acknowledge that as His creatures, we are not independent of Him. Even our creaturely freedom is a result of His providence.

So when we say God’s sustaining power directs and governs all things, this includes human decisions, even evil decisions (Gen 50:20) and those made by the most powerful people (Prov 21:1).

I know this has been heavy, and we may not agree on every point. That’s okay. But I hope this truth brings comfort as we remember that nothing can reach us without passing through God’s providential, faithful hands.

No matter what you face this week, God’s providence includes all the human decisions that affect our lives.
This month we’ve been studying God’s providenc This month we’ve been studying God’s providence—His power to sustain, govern, and direct all things, according to His purpose and without limits. Today we’ll see in the book of Isaiah that God’s providence extends through all eternity in the past, present, and future. 

“Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,’ calling a bird of prey from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it.” (Isaiah 46:8-11)

Isaiah’s prophecy in the previous chapters wasn’t good news for God’s people in Judah. Isaiah prophesied that they would be taken into exile in Babylon, and God would then work through a Persian king rather than through another king of Israel like David. The people of Judah must have felt dread as they heard these prophecies. 

But then God reminded the people that He is not like other gods. God wanted them to remember the truth about Him and therefore stand firm in their exile. According to Bible scholar J. Alec Motyer, these verses are “Isaiah’s final appeal to Israel to accept the Lord’s will and trust his providence.” 

This appeal is made based on what is true about God: 

“There is none like me . . .”— Only the Lord has the power to rule providentially in this world He created. He’s not battling for control; He’s in control. 

“declaring the end from the beginning . . . “ — He orchestrates all of history, from the very beginning to the very end, all by the power of His word. 

“I have purposed, and I will do it.” — The Lord accomplishes all His purposes. If He wills it, He will do it. 

Whether you’re anxious today about global events or the cells in your own body, whether you’re concerned with your past mistakes or the future for your great-grandchildren, remember this and stand firm: No matter what you face this week, God’s providence extends to every event of history and eternity.
A few days ago, I was telling someone how I planne A few days ago, I was telling someone how I planned to avoid some potential problems that could derail our summer travel plans. She replied, “It sounds like you have a backup plan and a backup plan to that backup plan.” Yep, that’s my MO. I love to have a plan, including as many backup plans as possible, just in case. And still my plans are often thwarted by changes I didn’t expect - ugh, that makes me crazy! 

God is not like me. My limited knowledge and limited control cause my plans - and even my backup plans - to sometimes fail. But God has the wisdom, power, and sovereignty to bring about all of His plans. 

Last week we started a series on God’s providence, which refers to His sustaining power that preserves, governs, and directs everything in creation. Today we’ll see that there is no limit to His providence. It extends to all creation in all places and all situations. There is nothing beyond His providential control. 

“For I know that the LORD is great, and that our Lord is above all gods. Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps. He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightnings for the rain and brings forth the wind from his storehouses.” (Psalm 135:5–7)

In these verses, the psalmists highlights four truths about God. He is the great God above all other gods. He does whatever He pleases. His providential work extends to all of His creation- that means everything! And even the wind and rain aren’t random or purely natural occurrences - they are the providential work of our Creator. 
 
This truth brings comfort because we know we will never encounter circumstances beyond God’s providential care for us. He is good and faithful, and He always accomplishes His purposes. He not only brings forth the wind from His storehouses; He also sent His Son to die for us. We may not understand our suffering or the suffering of those we love, but we can trust God’s unlimited providence. 

No matter what you face this week, God’s providence has no limits.
Last week, I felt overwhelmed with anxiety about e Last week, I felt overwhelmed with anxiety about events happening with all three of my teenagers. (Being the mom of teens is tough, y’all!) As I sat across from them at lunchtime, I silently repeated words paraphrased from the Heidelberg Catechism to remind myself that they are not mine, but belong with body and soul, in life and in death, to their faithful Savior Jesus Christ. 

The truth of God’s providence is the only reason those words bring any comfort to this mama’s heart. I’ve heard people say that the suffering in our lives is due to random chance, but when it happens, God steps in with comfort. If that’s true, God is a supportive friend, but He’s not really God. If our faithful Savior is powerless over the fallen world we live in, then maybe we have a glorious future ahead, but we’re basically left on our own for now. Thankfully, God’s Word teaches us that He is powerfully and providentially ruling here and now. 

God’s providence refers to His sustaining power that preserves and governs everything in the world. He didn’t just create the world like a watchmaker winding a clock and then let it run until Christ returns. He actively rules over His creation in every moment, and He does so according to His perfect will, which is rooted in His unfailing knowledge, wisdom, goodness, and justice. 

We find God’s providence proclaimed in many places in the Bible, but these verses are some of my favorites: 

“In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.” (Eph 1:11-12) 

In this passage, Paul is specifically talking about our salvation. We’ve been saved according to God’s purpose and given this amazing inheritance in Christ. But God’s purpose doesn’t only extend to our salvation. He works all things according to His will for the praise of His glory. 

We’ll look at God’s providence in more detail over the next few weeks. But for today, let’s find comfort in this truth: No matter what you face this week, your faithful Savior sustains, preserves, and governs every moment.
I have a confession to make: I love to tell people I have a confession to make: I love to tell people what to do. I’m a bossy person, and this character flaw revealed itself early in my childhood. My siblings often told me, “You’re not the boss of me!” Our poor brother had two older sisters telling him what to do, and one day, he snapped, “I don’t need three mommies!” 

It’s a natural human tendency to wonder who’s in charge. Some of us also have the strong desire to be the one in charge; others are looking for someone to follow. But we all understand that someone needs to be the boss. 

For the last few weeks, we’ve been looking at reasons Jesus came. We’ve seen how He is our redeeming Sacrifice, our reconciling Savior, and our righteous Advocate. Scripture also tells us that Jesus Christ is our reigning King. 

“Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:9–11) 

God the Father has highly exalted the risen Son. His name is above every name, proving there is no one greater. Ephesians 1:21 tells us that God has seated Him “far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.” Paul pulls out every extreme phrase he can find, but the human language can’t adequately describe the supremacy of Christ’s reign. 

At Christ’s first coming, only a few knelt in worship—a handful of shepherds and a some traveling kings. The angels sang His praise, but much of the world was silent. As word spread about His birth, the reigning king of His time sought to kill the infant Messiah. 

But at His second coming, every knee will bow. Every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. God will be glorified as all creation sees what we know is true today: Jesus reigns. 

No matter what you face this week, Jesus came to be your reigning King.
In an episode from the first season of The West Wi In an episode from the first season of The West Wing, White House Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn is on his way out of the office for a weekend away when he runs back to his desk to answer one last phone call. It’s an old high school acquaintance, now a defense attorney, calling to plead the case of a federal death row inmate seeking a stay of execution. 

The defense attorney needs someone with the ear of the President, so he calls Sam. The condemned man doesn’t just need an advocate, he needs an advocate with power and influence to present persuasive arguments to the one man who can grant a reprieve. 

We need an advocate, too. We are condemned by our sin, and the punishment we deserve is death (Romans 6:23). But the Lamb of God who was the redeeming sacrifice for us and reconciled us to God is now seated at the right hand of the Father. What is He doing as He sits there? He’s advocating for us. 

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” (1 John 2:1)

Jesus has the evidence needed for our forgiveness. John describes our advocate as “Jesus Christ the righteous.” Jesus is not only our redeeming sacrifice, He covers us with His righteousness. He advocates for us to the Father based on the perfect life He lived for us, not any good that we have done. 

Jesus not only has the righteousness needed, He also has the ear of the Father. Romans 8:34 tells us that Jesus Christ is at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us. The Father has given the Son the exalted place at His right hand, and we benefit from it. We have a Savior who has the ear of the Creator and Judge, saying, “She’s mine. She’s covered.”

Because of our righteous advocate, “when we enter into the presence of God, we go not to hear his justice prosecute us but to hear his love plead for us” (William Barclay, The Letter to the Hebrews, p. 19). 

No matter what you face this week, Jesus Christ came to be your righteous Advocate.
I got my first credit card when I was in college. I got my first credit card when I was in college. It was meant for emergencies only, but I became very relaxed with my definition of “emergency.” Is going out to dinner with friends an emergency? What about not having something to wear for a special occasion?

By the time I graduated, I racked up more than $1000 in credit card debt and had no way to pay it. The debt weighed on me—I felt the burden of it every day. Finally, I had to tell my soon-to-be husband that he was marrying into this debt. He was gracious about it, and we used wedding gifts to pay it off. But I regretted starting married life with nothing positive to offer our financial situation. 

Last week we saw that Jesus came to be a redeeming sacrifice for us. Our relationship with God was broken because we couldn’t pay the debt our sin required. But Jesus didn’t just wipe the slate clean, put us back at zero, and leave us to prove ourselves to God on our own. In His life, death, and resurrection, Jesus Christ did all that was necessary to fully reconcile us to God: 

“For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.” (Colossians 1:19–20)

We have peace with God because of the blood Jesus shed on the cross. This is why the baby was born in the stable—to pay our debt and fix the devastation our sin caused in our relationship with God. These verses tell us that His redeeming sacrifice had the power to reconcile all things on earth or in heaven. 

Because the fullness of God dwells in Him, Jesus Christ has the power to reconcile you to God. You don’t need to worry about paying your own debt of sin or getting yourself on God’s positive side with your good works. Christ’s work is sufficient to bring you into a reconciled relationship with your Heavenly Father. 

No matter what you face this week, Jesus Christ came to fully reconcile you to God.
The week after Thanksgiving, most of us fall into The week after Thanksgiving, most of us fall into one of three groups: those who are feeling great about our Christmas preparations, those who are trying not to panic, and those who are blissfully optimistic that Santa and his elves will make, wrap, and deliver the perfect gifts for their loved ones on Christmas Eve. 

When you’re buried neck-deep in shopping lists, tangled tiny lights, and wrapping paper, it’s easy to lose sight of why God the Son came to earth and was born in that Bethlehem stable. 

I’ve got good news for you—He didn’t come just to give you more to do every December. Over the next few Mondays, we’ll look at some of the reasons Jesus came. We’ve been in John 1 for the past few weeks, so let’s start there in John 1:29: 

“The next day [John] saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, ‘Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!’” (John 1:29)

In this verse, John the Baptist proclaims one reason the Son of God walked on earth—to be the Lamb of God who takes away our sin. 

The Lamb of God lived the perfect life. God’s justice requires a perfect sacrifice—a spotless lamb without blemish. Jesus Christ perfectly obeyed His Father and met the standard of righteousness that we fail to reach. 

The Lamb of God died for you. Romans 8:32 says God did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all. After living the perfect life, Jesus Christ took the punishment for your sin as He suffered and died on the cross. 

The Lamb of God rose again. First Corinthians 15:55 reminds us that the Lamb of God defeated death for us: “Oh death, where is your victory?” When Jesus Christ rose again, He proved His power to give eternal life to His redeemed people. 

In His life, death, and resurrection, the Lamb of God accomplished all that was required for your redemption. He came with a mission, and He completed it. Now that’s a reason to rejoice as we prepare to celebrate His birth! 

No matter what you face this week, Jesus came to be a redeeming sacrifice for you.
For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been studyin For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been studying John’s description of Jesus in John 1. We’ve seen that God’s Son is eternal and all things were created through Him and for Him. Today we see that He brings light and life to a world in bondage to darkness and death:

“In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it . . . The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.” (John 1:4-5, 9)

Again, John wants us to make a connection to the creation story in Genesis 1. God created light and separated light from darkness (Genesis 1:3-4). He made the sun and the stars to give us light (Genesis 1:14-18). He created man and “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life” (Genesis 2:7). God is the giver of light and life.

Because of sin, the world God made was lost in darkness and destined for death. God sent His Son to bring the light of life:

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12)

Now light and life could be heard, seen, and touched in the Messiah, Jesus Christ. As an eyewitness to Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection, John testifies about the “word of life”—that “which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands” (1 John 1:1).

God is the giver of light and life. In Jesus Christ, God shines the light in our darkness, that we may see our sin and confess our need for the Savior who died to give us eternal life. The darkness cannot overcome the light Christ brings. He has met our greatest need—our need to be saved from sin and death—so we can trust Him with every other need we have.

No matter what you face this week, Jesus gives you the light of life.
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