Marissa, Author at Marissa Henley

Thorns in the Flesh

July 1, 2010 by Marissa 1 Comment

This summer I’m studying Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George with some wonderful friends of mine. There are many potential blog posts coming out of this book. This week, our study provided a fresh look at 2 Corinthians 12:7-10:

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The question asked, “What did Paul ask God to do about [the thorn in his flesh]?” He pleaded three times for it to be removed. (Really, just three times?) The next question asked, “What was God’s response?” Uh, the answer was a big fat NO. But there’s more than that. God’s “no” was that His grace and power were sufficient for Paul as he dealt with this struggle.

There are a few “thorns” in my life right now that I have been pleading with God to remove. And to be honest, I’ve been a little frustrated that they are still around. But after studying this passage, I don’t see God being silent about my trials, both self-inflicted and other-inflicted. I know that if these trials and temptations persist, it is for my good and His glory as He is making me more like Christ. If that were not the case, He would have removed them. As I walk through the difficulties, He has promised that His grace is sufficient for each one.

We ask, “Lord, please heal my family member.”

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

We plead, “Lord, please fix my financial difficulties.”

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

We cry, “Lord, please save my unbelieving loved one.”

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

I find Paul’s attitude toward God’s graceful “no” to be very convicting. As I continue in my difficulties, my attitude should not just be tolerating them and getting through them as quickly as possible so I can move on to something happier. Following Paul’s example, I am called to be content and even boast in my weaknesses and struggles, because they showcase God’s power and goodness. What a lofty goal . . . one that I could definitely only attain by God’s power and not my own.

I Don’t Wanna.

May 10, 2010 by Marissa 1 Comment

I’ve been reading Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, a collection of Puritan prayers compiled by Arthur Bennett. I highly recommend it. They are short (perfect for a quick morning reading before the kids are up), and they have been very encouraging and challenging to me in my personal prayer life. One of the prayers that I read weeks ago is still lingering with me. It is a prayer that I want to pray sincerely for myself, but it’s a tough one:

“I am well pleased with thy will, whatever it is, or should be in all respects,

And if thou bidst me decide for myself in any affair, I would choose to refer all to thee,

for thou art infinitely wise and cannot do amiss, as I am in danger of doing.

I rejoice to think that all things are at thy disposal, and it delights me to leave them there.

Then prayer turns wholly into praise, and all I can do is to adore and bless thee.”

–Valley of Vision, p. 4

I’ll be honest. When I read this, I thought for a moment how wonderful it would be if God let me decide how things were going to go. Never in a million years would I “choose to refer all to thee.” I’d be in charge, and it would be awesome. And rejoicing that all things are at His disposal? Delighting to leave them there? I’m too busy trying to yank things out of God’s hands so I can manage the situation and manipulate things according to my desires.

After typing the above paragraph, I did some strategic formatting. As you can see, it’s all about me. My wisdom (ha!) and my wants. The way I think things should go. One problem (among many) with this way of thinking is that my desires (happiness and comfort) are rarely in line with God’s desire for me (to make me more like Christ).

I want to desire what God desires for me. I want to be more like Christ. I want to glorify God with my life and point others to Him and His grace. I want to so fully trust His goodness and faithfulness to me that even if he bidst me decide for myself, I would choose to refer all to the all-wise, all-loving, sovereign Creator. But I’ve got some growing to do in this area. So I guess it’s good that God’s in control, whether I like it or not. 🙂

Unthankfulness

July 1, 2009 by Marissa 5 Comments

Do you know how many times my children have opened their dresser drawers and exclaimed, “Clean clothes! Washed, dried, folded and put in my drawer! Way to go, Mom! Thank you!”

Zero. Usually, all I hear is, “When are you going to wash my Transformer pj’s?” Sound familiar?

When I read Jerry Bridge’s chapter on Unthankfulness (see previous post on his book Respectable Sins), I realized that I must look the same way to God as my kids do to me. God has done so much for me and continues to sustain me every day, and I seldom stop to thank Him. God has rescued me from guilt, sin and death by delivering me from the domain of darkness and transferring me to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom I have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:13-14). He has blessed me in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3). In addition to spiritual blessings, He has given me every ability or skill I have, a loving husband, three healthy children, friends, a home, possessions, food . . . everything I have comes from Him.

How often do I thank God for my mini-van? For the ability to go to the store when we run low on food? For the privelege of gathering with other Christians openly every Sunday to hear the Word of God preached? It is not often that I exhibit a sincere attitude of thankfulness.

I read an article on happiness recently in Good Housekeeping magazine. It said that when we buy something we want, we have a high level of satisfaction, but only for a very short time. We quickly become used to having that item around and take it for granted, and our sights turn to the next item we want. This is so true in my life. I remember last year, when I desperately wanted to replace the ceiling fan over our dining room table with a beautiful chandelier. Finally, I got my chandelier, and I loved it. For about a week, I looked at it all the time and felt happy and thankful. Now, how often do you think I still notice my beautiful chandelier? Pretty much never. Rather than being thankful for what I have, I turn my attention to that sofa I’d like to replace.

Jerry Bridges reminded me in this chapter that my unthankfulness is a sin. Sound harsh? It’s true. In Ephesians 5:20, we see the command to give “thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Bridges writes, “Failure to give Him the thanks due to Him is sin. It might seem like a benign sin to us because it doesn’t harm anyone else. But it is an affront and insult to the One who created us and sustains us every second of our lives.”

Bridges also writes about giving thanks in ALL circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18). This is a personal challenge for me right now, as someone I love very much is facing a battle with cancer. I found comfort in Bridges’ discussion of this topic, encouraging us that giving thanks in difficult circumstances can only be done by faith in the promises of God. We can only obey I Thessalonians 5:18 because we know Romans 8:28 is true: For we know for those who love God all things work together for good. In the midst of heartache, we can thank God for the good we know He can accomplish through any circumstance.

A Mother of Three

May 28, 2009 by Marissa 4 Comments

Wow, it has been a really long time since I’ve posted to this blog! If anyone out there is still reading, thanks for sticking with me. For any of you who don’t know me personally, I’m happy to announce that my daughter, Sarah Kate, was born on April 27. She is healthy, a great sleeper, and very snuggly and sweet. She has already captured the hearts of her two older brothers. (Although her arrival may or may not have anything to do with Will deciding he is no longer going to use the potty.)

I have to admit, I was very anxious about Sarah Kate’s first few weeks. I struggled a lot after my last baby (Will) was born–I was a mess emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. I was hopeful that things would be different this time around, mostly because when my boys were born, I was not consistently in God’s Word. Thankfully, by God’s grace, I have a more sure foundation this time around.

Now, one month into this grand adventure of life with three kids, I can see God’s faithfulness to our family in so many ways. Sarah Kate’s first week was rough from a sleeping perspective . . . she was happy to sleep during the day but not at all interested in sleeping at night. My husband had taken that first week off, so he was a huge help to me in the middle of the night. I was terrified to think what would happen when he went back to work and couldn’t be up all night, every night with Sarah Kate and me. But the night before he went back to work, Sarah Kate figured out that nighttime is for sleeping. And our nights have been very manageable ever since! God knows what we can handle, and He won’t give us a smidge more than that.

Not to keep harping on sleep (but we all know it is one of the only things a mother of a newborn can think about), but since that first week, Sarah Kate has been a great sleeper. And our few difficult nights have usually been followed by a day when someone else is helping me with the boys and I am able to rest. I have seen God’s hand providing for my need for sleep over and over again.

I’ve found that the most difficult thing for me right now is juggling the needs of the three kids during the day. My temper is short and patience is lacking. There have been some really ugly days. I alternate between moments of overwhelming gratitude and seeing God’s faithfulness, and moments (okay, sometimes hours) of discontentment and longing for life to feel normal. I’ve been praying for wisdom, self-control and patience this week, and God has been providing. I know this will continue to be a struggle for me. I am constantly being called to die to myself and my selfish desires and lay down my life for my kids. It hurts sometimes, but God provides the strength to do it, and He is glorified by our obedience!