Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

  • About
  • The blog
    • Videos
    • Guest appearances
    • No Matter What Monday
    • Cancer
    • Family
    • Faith
  • The book
  • Need a speaker?
  • Contact
  • Free Ebook

A Meek and Quiet Spirit, Part 2

June 26, 2008 by Marissa 5 Comments

I recently finished Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell and heartily recommend it to you, whether you are homeschooling or not. I hope to homeschool part-time, and this book was very relevant to me. Although there is some content in the book related specifically to homeschooling, it just as well could have been titled “Parenting with a Meek and Quiet Spirit.”  (You may want to see my earlier post on the first half of the book.)

In her chapter on “Hard Work and Dying to Self,” Maxwell emphasizes that as mothers, we should not expect much time to ourselves. This is a tough one for me. In the past, I have identified myself as the type of mom who needs time away from my kids. Lately, God has shown me that this is not a need, it is a desire. He supplies it often, but I should not demand it. And I should not grow resentful when I don’t think I’m getting enough of it. Every minute that I’m with my kids is an opportunity to share the Gospel with them, train them in righteousness, and love them. I should not wish that time away.

Another great point in this chapter was that if you were not homeschooled, you should be careful not to compare your life to your mother’s. In most cases, your mother had five days each week while you were at school to complete housework, work outside the home, or accomplish other wonderful things. She probably spent evenings and weekends relaxing with her husband and family. If you are homeschooling, your life will look very different. I know that once my kids are in school part-time, it will be difficult for me to not compare my life to my friends whose kids are in school full-time. I’m sure I will sway back and forth between insane jealousy and self-righteous pride in our choice–both sinful attitudes. I pray that God will keep me humbly obedient to what He has called us to do.

Another great point that Maxwell discusses is our role as a helper for our husband. (See Genesis 2:18.) She writes that we are not to view our husband as our helper (although he hopefully will be from time to time!), but we should be looking for ways we can help and support him. I am definitely guilty of thinking, “What can my husband do to help me today?” After all, he has been idly sitting around operating on people’s hands while I slave away at home all day! I cringe at the thought of serving him–do I seriously have to add one more person to the list of people who demand my help and attention? And yet, Genesis 2 tells me that this is my role. I was created to be Noel’s helpmeet. And God will provide the strength to fulfill this role.

One last thing I loved in this book was her reminder that we need to smile more at home. I wish I could see myself through my kids eyes, or walk around with a mirror in front of my face. I suspect that my face shows annoyance, exhaustion and frustration more than it shows joy. Maxwell suggests that making an effort to smile more will go a long way toward creating a more joyful atmosphere in the home. Surely I can handle that!

Share

A Meek and Quiet Spirit, Part 1

June 9, 2008 by Marissa 2 Comments

When I recently ordered the Maxwell’s scheduling book (Managers of Their Homes), I noticed another book on Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit, by Teri Maxwell. No thanks, I thought. You see, I’m planning on homeschooling three days a week with an angry and resentful spirit. Who wants to be meek and quiet? Doesn’t sound like it would serve my interests all that well. It was about at that point in the train of thought that I realized I must immediately click “Add to Cart.” And I’m really glad I did.

I would definitely recommend this book to any homeschooling mother OR any mom who struggles with keeping her sanity, let alone a meek and quiet spirit, during long days at home with preschoolers. I’ve learned so much already from this book, and I haven’t even gotten to Chapter 6: Hard Work and Dying to Self. I know that one is going to hurt tomorrow morning and will probably result in the post, A Meek and Quiet Spirit, Part 2 (why I changed my mind about this book). Ha ha!

I have learned so much from her discussion of “meek and quiet spirit robbers” such as fear and worry, disorganization, and anger. I have been reminded several times by this book that my children are watching the way I deal with worries and how I control (or fail to control) my anger and frustration. All of my teaching on self-control won’t do any good if I don’t exhibit it myself!

In her chapter on Anger, Maxwell writes about having high goals and low expectations for our kids. Low expectations should not be confused with permissiveness. But she points out that our children are just that–children. They are in the process of learning how to be godly adults (we hope), but they are still learning. So while we have lofty goals for our children’s obedience, kindness to others, self-control, responsibility, etc., we must understand that they are going to fall short of those goals. Our expectation is that they will disobey and require discipline from us. If I start my day knowing this, it will take away my shock that our son is yelling at his brother over a toy again and might help me keep my temper under control.

Maxwell also suggests having well-defined consequences mapped out for disobedience or irresponsibility. That way, there is no stress involved in figuring out how to handle disciplining a child. When the child disobeys, the consequence is given. That way, the consequence doesn’t depend on mom’s mood or how many times the infraction has occurred that afternoon, and everyone knows what to expect.

Maxwell also points out that anger is a choice. She gives the examples of not being as easily angered at church as we are at home, or yelling at our children until the phone rings and then answering the phone in a calm tone of voice. That was so convicting for me! It is a choice. And so often I choose poorly because I am trying to rely on my own strength. What I appreciate about this book is that it is not only giving me practical suggestions for how to deal with fear, disorganization and anger, but also reminding me that I will not do well at any of it if I am not relying on God’s grace and strength. His grace is sufficient!

Share

Obedience

March 9, 2008 by Marissa 6 Comments

Disclaimer: This post is about my being obedient to what God is calling me to do for my children’s education. I do not mean to imply that everyone else should make the same decision that we are with regard to schools. Even if you live near me and are weighing the same options, I do not know what God is calling you to do or what is best for your family. I do not think it is wrong or unwise or selfish for other families to choose public school for their kids if that is where God calls them to be. In fact, I don’t think it would be good for all Christian families to flee from public schools. So as long as you promise not to take it the wrong way, read on . . .

Ever since Christopher hit the terrible twos, I have been looking forward to kindergarten. I imagined I would not be one of those weepy moms on the first day of kindergarten–I would be the one giving high-fives on the way to my minivan, embracing the well-deserved time I would have during the school day. Over a year ago, I learned about an educational option in our area that threatened that dream . . . a classical Christian academy that operates on the university model, which means the students attend school two days a week and do school at home the other three days. When I first heard about it, I thought, “no way–I am NOT a homeschooling mom!” After talking with other moms and hearing more about it, even before we moved here, I reluctantly prayed (just once) that God would change my heart if this was what He wanted us to do.

As the months passed, I was horrified to see that God did change my heart. I’ve always loved the classical education concept but continued to struggle with the two-day-a-week issue. But I started to see the many advantages of having my kids home those additional days–leisurely mornings, bonding time with their siblings, time for family worship, Scripture memory and the other things we want to teach them, etc. God even brought another family into our lives–now they are our close friends–who live in our neighborhood and are planning to send their children there as well (hooray for carpooling!). But in my flesh, I was not willing to commit.

Last Tuesday, after another “snow” (meaning there’s a little bit on the grass and the roads are a little slick) day at home and a frustrating attempt to teach Christopher handwriting, I sat Noel down for a little chat. Actually, it was more like a tirade. I told him that I needed those 5 days to myself. I’m just not cut out for homeschooling. I don’t know if it is a personality difference or if those moms who can do it are just more godly than me, but I’m in the Word and praying every day and just don’t know what else I can do! Basically, I told him that I knew it is what’s best for our kids, but I didn’t know if I could do it.

Then I went to BSF on Wednesday. (You see where this is going, right?) We were studying Matthew 19, talking about marriage, little children, and the rich young ruler. I settled in for a lecture that would make me feel really good about being married for 9 years and being certain I’ll never be divorced. The first words out of the teaching leader’s mouth were, “God will not tolerate selfishness. He will call you to give up yourself . . .” I’m sure there was more to that sentence, but I can’t remember. That was all it took for me to realize that God intended that message for me and for our school decision. Because I have known for months now what God wants me to do. I just didn’t want to give up something that has become an idol in my life: my time alone to do what I want to do. God is calling me to give that up for a season of my life to help educate my kids.

The rest of the lecture consisted of God making sure I hadn’t missed His message. Our teaching leader talked about bringing children to Christ, and how God will probably ask you to give something up in order to bring children to Him. She talked about the rich young ruler who was following all the rules, but in order to truly follow Christ, he had to give up that which was the most important to him. He wasn’t willing to do it, and he went away sad (and most importantly, without a relationship with Christ which leads to eternal life). I saw how much I am like the rich young ruler–I live a moral, religious life, but I want to hold on to certain aspects of my life and my selfish desires. Then after the lecture, I heard two moms of school-age children talking about how there’s just not time in their day for their family to worship or read the Bible together. By the time it was over, I wanted to shout, “Okay, Lord! I get it!”

So I have decided to obey. I have decided to trust God to provide what I need to follow this call and will ask for continued wisdom to make sure it is the right decision. It still hurts a little to sacrifice some things I want and to do something that most of society will find strange, but there is relief, peace and freedom in obedience.

As I continue to contemplate what happened last week, it occurred to me that I cannot think of another instance where I made a conscious decision to obey God in spite of my own selfish desires–just for the sake of obedience, not out of fear of disappointing others or some other consequence. I’m a little scared that for the past 31 years, I’ve been ignoring what He wants me to do and doing whatever I want to do. I’m enough of a rule-follower that my external behavior looks obedient, but I want to make sure I’m being obedient in the gray areas, the tough decisions, the more private heart matters. I encourage you to examine your heart for areas of disobedience. Ask God to show you areas in your life where you are following your own selfish desires . . . but make sure you’re ready, because if you ask Him, He’ll do it!

Share

Learn more about the book!

marissahenley.com

Loving Your Friend through Cancer is now available! I'm excited to share this resource with you and pray it equips you to support your friend with compassionate care.

Let’s Connect Everywhere!

Welcome

marissahenley.com

I write to remind myself of the truth of God's promises. I share my writing here in case you need to be reminded sometimes, too.

Instagram

marissa.henley

Last Thursday I left my oldest child on a college Last Thursday I left my oldest child on a college campus. It was such a hard day, but I knew my friends were praying for me, and the Lord was sustaining me. 

I know there are many moms walking through this transition in the coming weeks, and I'd love to pray for you. Drop a 🤍 and maybe your "see you later" date in the comments if you need prayer, or tag a friend you're praying for as she takes her child to college. Let's pray each other through this, friends! 

(P.S. I see you, kindergarten mamas! We can adapt this prayer for you, too. We older moms remember that having your child away at school for the day is a tough transition as well! ❤️)

#prayer #praying #prayers #momlife #backtoschool #christianreels #christianreel #christianmom #christianmoms #christianmomlife #womenoftheword #womenoffaith #womenofprayer
I have the privilege of pointing our eyes to the t I have the privilege of pointing our eyes to the truth of Christ's victory today in the @first5app - there's a link in my bio if you'd like to read more! ❤️

Posted @withregram • @first5app In the unfolding military drama of Judges 7, Gideon’s army looks like the ultimate underdog. Three hundred men with trumpets, torches, and jars were ready to face the massive Midianite army and their swords. Each soldier was placed there by the Lord and stood still while the Lord brought chaos to the enemy. The Israelites’ stationary status demonstrated to all that their victory was the Lord’s work. 

Just as God acted to give His people victory over this enemy, He sent His Son to provide us with eternal victory over our spiritual enemies. 

Do you feel like an underdog today, burdened by temptation or fearful of this fallen world? Maybe your spiritual enemies loom large, and you’re not sure you have much fight left. If you have placed your trust in Christ, the Truth of Christ’s victory has transformed you from an underdog to a conqueror, now and forever. 

-@marissa.henley #First5

How does the truth of Jesus’ victory encourage you in an area where you feel like an underdog today?
Have you ever watched a movie and realized that a Have you ever watched a movie and realized that a character you thought was a good guy was really the most terrible of the bad guys? It’s even worse when the other characters don’t know the truth. You feel a pit in your stomach as you see one of your favorite characters run to someone she thinks is safe, only to find out she’s turned to the wrong person for help. You hope she figures out who’s truly on her side before it’s too late! 

For the past month, we’ve walked through Psalm 34 together. We’ve seen how David praises the Lord in all circumstances and how the Lord delivers and provides. 

In the final verses of the psalm, we find the foundation of all the truth, thanksgiving, and praise of Psalm 34: None who take refuge in God will be condemned. When we run to Him for salvation, we won’t find out later that we’ve made a mistake. We’re safe in the grace and mercy of our Savior. 

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.” (Psalm 34:19-22) 

These verses point us to Christ, the One who delivers us from death by His death. Our afflictions are many, but they are nothing compared to the affliction Jesus suffered on the cross as He bore the punishment our sin deserved. 

Because He took God’s wrath for us, our Lord and Redeemer is now our safe refuge. As Romans 8:1 declares, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” When you feel weighed down by affliction and fear, take refuge in the One who died to redeem your life. He is our Deliverer, our Redeemer, and our Protector. 

No matter what you face this week, those who run to God find safe refuge in Him. 

P.S. It's time for summer break! I'll be taking a break from posting devotionals for a few months. I plan to return to No Matter What Monday in the fall. 😊
It was 4:15a.m., and I was having a pity party. It was 4:15a.m., and I was having a pity party. 

It doesn’t happen often (if it did, this devotional would include an advertisement for a free dog), but occasionally our dog decides he needs to go potty around 4 a.m. When Samson started pacing around our room and then scratching at the door, I was forced to abandon my hours of uninterrupted sleep and let him out. 

I fumed as I got back in bed. I wasn’t just angry at Samson—I was mad at God. “Don’t you know how tired I am, God? Don’t you know I needed sleep tonight?” 

But then God’s Word flooded my mind, and I remembered that God is sovereign over all the details of my life—even dog’s bladders. He doesn’t withhold anything I need, and all that He allows is for my good. My anger subsided, and I eventually drifted off to sleep for a few more hours. 

It’s one thing to find comfort in God’s sovereignty in the minor annoyances of life like a dog needing to potty in the middle of the night. But what about in the major hardships? Even in a cancer diagnosis, looming layoffs at work, or a difficult relationship, God’s sovereign care is an anchor we can cling to. 

We’ve been walking through Psalm 34 for the past couple of weeks. In today’s verses, David proclaims the perfect provision of the Lord: 

“Oh fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” (Psalm 34:9-10)

David made a bold statement here - that those who fear God lack nothing. There is nothing that is good for us that our heavenly Father withholds. 

In His wisdom, God knows what we need. In His goodness, He desires to care for our needs. In His sovereignty, He is fully able to give us all that we need. We can trust Him to be the God on the throne who sees and knows and cares for each of His children. Those who are His lack no good thing. 

No matter what you face this week, you can rest in God’s sovereign care.
This week we’re continuing through Psalm 34. Las This week we’re continuing through Psalm 34. Last week, we saw how David always found a reason to praise the Lord. And as we keep reading, we see David praise God specifically for deliverance from his fears. 

“I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.” (Psalm 34:4-7)

When David wrote this psalm, his deliverance hadn’t happened yet. He was still on the run from Saul, a mighty king who was filled with murderous rage toward David. And yet, David trusted the Lord to deliver Him either in life or in death. 

When we’re waiting for deliverance for our troubles, this psalm gives us both an example and an encouragement. As an example, David took his fears to the Lord. He ran to God with his troubles. He sought the Lord, looked to Him, cried out to Him, and lived in His presence. 

Psalm 34 also gives us encouragement as we see that the Lord heard, answered, and delivered David. God sees our troubles and is not deaf to our prayers when we cry out to Him. Psalm 34:17 tells us that God’s eyes and ears are focused on us. He knows every struggle we face. 

God knows, and He delivers. In 2 Corinthians, Paul says, “He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again” (2 Corinthians 1:10). Not only does God deliver every once in awhile, but God rescues from all our fears. (Psalm 34:4) Our heavenly Father is more powerful than any enemy we face—even death. 

When we cry out to the Lord and when our hope of deliverance is in Him, we will radiate His joy and peace. Our “faces shall never be ashamed” because hope that is grounded in God’s promises will never disappoint (Psalm 34:5). Our troubles may not vanish, but the Lord is our Savior and Deliverer. 

No matter what you face this week, the Lord will hear you and deliver you.
One night several years ago at the dinner table, I One night several years ago at the dinner table, I asked my kids to share something they liked about each of their siblings. I thought it would be a beautiful time of encouragement. Will gazed at Christopher, deep in thought, and said, “What I like best about Christopher is that he isn’t very funny.” 

Do you ever struggle to praise the Lord? Maybe, like my son at the dinner table, you look at Him and think, “I’m not sure I can see much to praise right now.” 

This month we are going to make our way through Psalm 34, and we’ll see how David praised God even when his circumstances didn’t leave much to feel thankful for. King Saul wanted to kill him, so David was running for his life, hiding in caves, and trying to stay undercover by acting insane when someone recognized him. (See 1 Samuel 21.)

And yet, David began Psalm 34 with these words: 
 
“I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!” (Psalm 34:1-3)

David said that he had God’s praise constantly on his lips. Even though his circumstances were challenging and discouraging, he called to mind all that the Lord had done in the past. Maybe he thought about how God delivered the Israelites from Egypt. Maybe he remembered when God chose him, youngest son of a family from nowhere, to be the next king of Israel. 

What can you praise God for today? How has He shown His love, goodness, and faithfulness to you? 

Even in the darkest days, we can turn our eyes to the cross of Christ and the empty tomb and remember how Jesus secured our salvation with His life, death, and resurrection. We can turn our eyes to heaven and look forward to the glory that is waiting because of what He’s done for us. We can trust His promise to be with us every moment and praise Him for His presence and faithfulness today. 

No matter what you face this week, you always have a reason to praise the Lord.
Last January after Georgia won the college footbal Last January after Georgia won the college football national championship (sorry, Alabama fans!), I saw a photo of a man wearing a Georgia football jersey, standing with his arms raised and mouth wide open, as if shouting in triumph. He was surrounded by people who were smiling, crying, and hugging each other. 

This man wasn’t a Georgia football player celebrating at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis after their win. He was a fan at a watch party hundreds of miles away in Georgia. But he so closely identified with his favorite team that he celebrated their victory as if it was his own. 

For the past few weeks, we’ve been making our way through the Easter hymn, “Worship Christ the Risen King.” Today we’re looking at the final verse: 

“We acclaim your life, O Jesus, now we sing your victory;
Sin or hell may see, to seize us, but your conquest keeps us free.
Stand in triumph, stand in triumph, worship Christ, the risen King!” 

The victory Jesus won over sin, death, hell, and the devil isn’t just a victory for Him. If we’ve been united to Christ by faith, the victory is ours as well. We stand with Him in triumph, freed by His victory. 

Consider what God’s Word says about our victory with Him: 

“The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Cor. 15:56-57)

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? . . . No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.“ (Romans 8:35, 37)

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, Jesus speaking)

“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” (1 John 5:4)

Because of God’s grace, we share in Christ’s victory. We are free. We are more than conquerors. We can have courage and peace in all circumstances, because our Savior has overcome the world. 

No matter what you face this week, you share in Christ’s victory.
“He is risen! He is risen indeed!” This is a p “He is risen! He is risen indeed!” This is a popular refrain on Easter Sunday, but it’s also the way my church family starts the worship service every Sunday. We may be so used to hearing it that we forget that this is a massive, world-altering claim. 

If this statement is true—if Christ is truly risen—that truth changes everything. It gives purpose to our lives and our worship, and that purpose endures even when we struggle and doubt. 

This month we’ve been looking at the verses of an Easter hymn called “Worship Christ the Risen King.” This week we’re looking at the fourth verse of the hymn: 

“Doubt may lift its head to murmur, scoffers mock and sinners jeer;
But the truth proclaims a wonder thoughtful hearts received with cheer.
He is risen, he is risen, now receive the risen King!” 

We sometimes struggle with our faith because of doubts we have on the inside or because of attacks on our faith from the outside. But either way, the truth of His resurrection brings comfort and confidence. 

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he makes it clear that if Christ is not risen, the Christian faith is pointless: 

“And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” (1 Corinthians 15:17-19) 

Our Christian faith isn’t just a crutch to use to get through life in this fallen world. Jesus wasn’t just a good teacher or a prophet. The gospel isn’t a myth we use to make sense of the world around us. 

Our faith is based on an empty tomb of the Son of God who came to live and die for us. Jesus rose again on the third day, proving that He was who He said He was. 

“But the angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay.’” (Matthew 28:5-6) 

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! 

No matter what you face this week, Christ’s resurrection gives comfort and confidence.
One of our family’s favorite games is a card gam One of our family’s favorite games is a card game called Unstable Unicorns. It’s so fun, but the twists in the game can be infuriating. You’ll be close to victory, feeling like no one can stand in your way, and then one of your kids turns all your unicorns to pandas and snatches victory from your grasp. 

I imagine that in the days leading up to Jesus’s crucifixion, Satan thought victory was about to be his. Jesus was betrayed by one of His closest friends. He was arrested, mocked, beaten, and hung on a cross to die a humiliating, agonizing death. But the devil’s moment of victory turned out to be his humiliation and defeat.

This month we’re walking through the verses of an Easter hymn, “Worship Christ the Risen King.” Last week’s verses described Christ’s victory over death and hell. The next verse describes His decisive victory over the devil: 

“Hear the earth protest and tremble, see the stone removed with pow’r;
All hell’s minions may assemble, but cannot withstand his hour.
He has conquered, he has conquered, Christ the Lord, the risen King!”

Paul wrote about this victory in his letter to the Colossians.

“This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.” (Col. 2:14b-15) 

According to the ESV Study Bible, “The cross of Christ marks the decisive defeat of the demonic powers . . . they were stripped of their power to accuse Christians before God.” The death and resurrection of Jesus proved that Satan and his demons couldn’t stop God’s plan of redemption. We still battle against the forces of evil in this world, but they’ve been publicly put to shame by the cross of our Savior.

The author of Hebrews described it this way:

“. . . [Jesus] himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.” (Heb. 2:14-15)

The devil’s power has been destroyed. We’ve been delivered. The one who enslaved us in fear has been defeated by our risen King!

No matter what you face this week, Christ has disarmed the devil.
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Looking For Something?

Copyright © 2022 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in