Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

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Supermoms

June 13, 2007 by Marissa 4 Comments

Here’s the problem: I want to be a Supermom. And if I can’t be a Supermom, I at least want to be perceived as a Supermom. We probably all have our own ideals of that a Supermom would be, and here’s mine: Supermoms always love being a mom. Their kids reach all the developmental milestones at least a month early, due to their Supermom’s diligence. Their kids are well-behaved, polite, and carry on intelligent conversation with adults in public. If a child does throw a tantrum or act up (hey, she might be a Supermom, but no one is perfect!), the Supermom calmly and quickly diffuses the tantrum without giving into the child. The Supermom never loses her cool and would never yell at her child. Supermoms are dressed well, complete with a shower (that same day), make-up, lip gloss, and earrings. Their kids look adorable and never have dried, crusty food on their faces or boogers hanging out of their nose. (My friends are laughing right now, because they’ve been waiting for me to mention the boogers.) Supermoms arrive on time with Purell, snacks, and interesting toys ready at all times, and they never run out of baby wipes.

Am I a Supermom? Heck, no. But every ounce of my flesh (that is, my sinful nature) wants to at least have everyone think that I am. We see other women who look like Supermoms, so we try to keep up, being careful to only let others in far enough that they never see us lose our cool or see our kids with boogers coming out of their nose (or worse, throw a huge tantrum with boogers all over their face!). And then the Supermom myth is perpetuated as long as we can keep up the facade at least most of the time.

It is refreshing to me to see women in my church family who are willing to be seen for what we all really are: messed-up, sinful, struggling moms who don’t always know what we should do for our kids and often do all the wrong things. And I’m learning that the key to this kind of genuineness is the Gospel: that I am a sinner, separated from God by my sin and unable to anything to save myself or earn my favor, but that God, in His mercy and grace, sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for that sin, reconciling me to God, making me righteous in God’s sight, and adopting me as a daughter of God. God takes Jesus’ perfect record and gives it to me, and therefore, I receive God’s grace–His unmerited favor–not because of anything I do, but solely because of what Christ has done.

So the truth is, I stink at being a mom. I mess up every day, I yell at my kids, I run out of wipes, and I feel so incompetent and know that if they actually gave all moms a test before letting them take their baby home from the hospital, I would have failed miserably. But if I let other people in, let them really see the mess that is there, it will point me (and hopefully others) to my need for Christ. If I could live a perfect life, I wouldn’t need a Savior. If I could handle my life on my own strength, I wouldn’t need to be sustained by the Holy Spirit, the promises of God’s Word, and fellowship with other Christians. So this is my confession: I am not a Supermom. I can’t achieve salvation on my own, I can’t parent my kids on my own, and I definitely can’t love my husband on my own (but that’s a story for another blog). I need Jesus.

Ephesians 2:8-9: For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

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Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: failure, faith, motherhood, Parenting, supermom

Comments

  1. Jackie Wilhite says

    June 13, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    You are amazing!! I swear that you were sitting right next to me as I was reading…and not only that but sitting inside my thoughts!! I too NEED Jesus and it’s more often than not that I need a friend like you to remind me of that! I hope that other mom’s can read this and realize that we are all just doing the best we can with what we are given! I am not nearly as profound as your blog but I will just pretend that I wrote it since they are all my thoughts…EXACTLY!!!

    Great entry!!!

    Reply
  2. Marissa says

    June 14, 2007 at 12:21 am

    Well, I didn’t mean for this to turn into the official blog of my fan club, but thanks for your comments, friends! And Jen, you’re Superteacher–you know you are! 🙂

    Reply
  3. Jenny Gammill says

    June 13, 2007 at 11:14 pm

    I love you, Marissa! You are the best!!!!!! I am excited about having this when I am a mom…someday, I hope:) Oh, and that picture of Will on the other blog is adorable!!!

    Reply

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  1. Here Am I! - By Grace Alone says:
    August 23, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    […] good thing. Because if I could map it out, I could think it was all about me. Look at me! I’m SuperMom and SuperChristian–look what I can […]

    Reply

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Have you ever had a relationship where there was t Have you ever had a relationship where there was tension, and that lack of peace seemed to spill over into every aspect of your life? It’s almost as if you’ve got a sore big toe that hurts with every step . . . when an important relationship is off kilter, it’s hard to ignore. 

If this is true of our human relationships, it’s even more true when it come to our relationship with the God who created us. Having peace in our relationship with God is essential to having peace in other aspects of our life. 

This month we’re looking at the hymn, “It is Well.” Last week we saw that Jesus gives us peace through His Spirit, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. This week we’ll look at the second and third verses of this hymn, which tell us how we can have peace with God: 

“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control, 
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul. 

My sin - O, the bliss of this glorious thought! - 
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more, 
Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well with my soul. It is well, it is well with my soul.” 

In these two verses, we see how the author of the hymn connected his peaceful soul with Christ’s sacrifice for him. We find this same truth in the words of the apostle Paul in Romans 5:1: 

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1)

Because Christ took the penalty for our sin on the cross, we have peace with God. We are reconciled to our Heavenly Father and Righteous Judge, the Lord God Almighty. We are justified, which means we are declared righteous by God because of the righteousness given to us by Christ through faith. 

This peace with God is a gift from God through Christ’s sacrifice. Because we didn’t earn it, it can’t be taken away. In all circumstances, we who have placed our faith in Christ can have peace in our souls, because we have peace with God. 

No matter what you face this week, you have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Many years ago, before my own cancer diagnosis, I Many years ago, before my own cancer diagnosis, I followed the blog updates of a mom whose young daughter was battling brain cancer. I was amazed at how this woman still clung to her faith in Christ and proclaimed His faithfulness, even in the midst of unimaginable suffering. Because of her faith in Christ, there was a foundation of peace beneath the turmoil she and her family endured.

This month we are going to make our way through one of my favorite hymns, “It is Well.” The author of this hymn, Horatio Spafford, also experienced great suffering. In 1873, his wife and children took a voyage across the Atlantic, and his four daughters died in an accident at sea. As he crossed the ocean to reunite with his wife, he wrote these lyrics: 

“When peace like a river attenders my way, 
When sorrows like sea billows roll, 
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, 
It is well, it is well with my soul. 
It is well with my soul. It is well, it is well with my soul.” 

How can we have peace when nothing around us feels peaceful? The answer can only be found in the peace that Jesus gives: 

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27) 

Jesus promises us peace that is different than any peace the world has to offer. The world’s peace is tentative and temporary, because it is dependent on our circumstances. Jesus’s peace is steadfast and eternal, because it is rooted in the character and purposes of God. We can be calm in the midst of suffering because we belong to the One who rules over all things. We are secure in His faithful hands. 

When Jesus spoke these words to His disciples in John 14, He was explaining that He was going away and the Father would send the Holy Spirit. He told them that the Spirit would “teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14:26). The Spirit reminds us of God’s promises that we receive in Christ Jesus. He gives us peace that only comes from Him. 

No matter what you face this week, Jesus offers you His perfect peace.
I love this quote from D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones: “H I love this quote from D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones: “Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?” 

What a great question to ask: Am I talking to myself or listening to myself? When I’m listening to myself, I’m usually focused on my problems and wallowing in my emotions. In those moments, I need to talk to myself and remind myself of the truth about the Lord and His work in my life. 

That’s what David did in Psalm 103. He gave his own soul a little talking-to. He told himself—and other worshippers of God—to bless the Lord and remember all that He’s done. 

As we wrap up our month in Psalm 103, we see one last truth about the Lord and David’s response of praise in Psalm 103:19-22. 

“The LORD has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all . . . Bless the LORD, O my soul!” (Psalm 103:19, 22b)

Just in case there was any doubt about whether or not God can do all He has promised in this psalm, David spoke to himself about God’s sovereign rule over all. The Lord is on his throne. There is nothing that is beyond His reign. Everything falls under His royal authority. 

David bookended this psalm with the phrase, “Bless the LORD, O my soul” (Psalm 103:1, 22). He reminded himself of God’s goodness, listed out reasons to praise the Lord, and exhorted himself to praise God with all that he had. 

So how can you shift from listening to yourself to talking to yourself today? Take a minute to read through all of Psalm 103. Remind yourself of who God is and what He has done. Talk to yourself about His benefits: His steadfast love, His generous forgiveness, His forever promises, and His sovereign rule. Don’t forget all the benefits you’ve been given in Christ. Remember and respond to your Redeemer with praise and thanksgiving. 

No matter what you face this week, praise your sovereign Redeemer and King. 

P.S. It’s time for my annual summer break! I appreciate you joining me here each Monday for these devotionals, and I plan to be back after Labor Day. I hope you have a wonderful summer!
There’s a saying in my part of the country—and There’s a saying in my part of the country—and maybe your part, too—“If you don’t like the weather today, wait until tomorrow.” It’s especially true in the spring and fall, when the weather changes drastically from day to day and even from hour to hour. How am I supposed to tell my kids to dress for school when they need a coat in the morning and shorts in the afternoon? So much in life is constantly changing, whether it’s the weather, relationships, culture, or parenting—it feels like nothing stays the same.

We’re studying Psalm 103 this month, and we’ve seen David remember God’s benefits: His forgiveness, healing, redemption, sustaining power, and steadfast love.  In Psalm 103:15-18, David celebrated the eternality of God’s character. These truths he was remembering aren’t just for a fleeting season. They’re not here today and gone tomorrow. The steadfast love and promises of God last forever.

“But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments.” (Ps. 103:17-18)

David contrasted God’s eternal character with the fleeting nature of man. In verses 15-16, he said we are like grass that the wind blows away. Nothing in our human world lasts forever. Relationships change. Careers end. Bodies age and die. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting. He keeps His promises not just to us, but to the future generations that follow.

Psalm 103:18 says this steadfast love is for those who keep His covenant. God made covenant promises to His people throughout the Old Testament. He promised to bless them, and they promised to obey. When the people failed to keep their part of the covenant, God sent His Son to live an obedient life and die on the cross for His covenant-breaking people.

Galatians 3:29 tells us that if we belong to Christ, we are heirs to all God has promised. Because of Christ’s sacrifice, we are the covenant children of God who receive His promised, everlasting, steadfast love, now and forever.

No matter what you face this week, remember God’s everlasting covenant promises.
Do you remember the last time you were asked to in Do you remember the last time you were asked to introduce yourself to a group of people? It always feels so awkward to me. I think, “What were those things the group leader asked us to say? What do these people really want to know?” It’s hard to sum up who you are in just a few sentences.

This month we’re walking through Psalm 103 together as David remembered all of God’s benefits. In verses 6-14, David remembered what the Lord told His people about Himself: His righteousness, His character, and His forgiveness.

“He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel. The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” (Ps. 103:7-8) 

In verse 8, David echoed the words God spoke about Himself when He  proclaimed His name to Moses in Exodus 34:6. We know this is God’s character, because God chose to reveal Himself. The Lord is merciful. He is gracious. He is patient with us, and His constant, faithful, covenant love overflows.

David continued in Psalm 103 to try to capture with words the steadfast love and forgiveness of God:

“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” (Ps. 103:11-12)

David used some big-time analogies to portray these benefits for God’s people. God’s steadfast love is as high as the heavens are above the earth. How far do the heavens reach? Further than our human minds can imagine!

Our sins have been separated from us as far as the east is from the west. I wonder if David saw the sun rise in the east and set in the west and imagined places in both directions that he’d never see in his lifetime. He wanted us to know that when God removes our sin, it becomes untouchable. God’s forgiveness is complete, sufficient, and permanent. 

This forgiveness is given to God’s people through our Savior, Jesus Christ. Romans 5:8 tells us that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” We can look to Christ and remember God’s steadfast love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. 
 
No matter what you face this week, remember God’s steadfast love and forgiveness.
I don’t love a lot about Facebook these days, bu I don’t love a lot about Facebook these days, but I often log in to check my Memories section. I posted pretty frequently (probably too frequently!) when my kids were little, and it’s fun to screenshot the funny things they said and send them to those same kids who are now teens. I’m grateful for these glimpses into the past that help me remember those precious moments. 

This month we’ll be walking through Psalm 103. In this psalm, David calls himself—and all the people of God—to bless the Lord and remember all His benefits. In these first five verses, David lists several benefits he wanted us to remember: 

“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” (Psalm 103:1-5)

God forgives. This forgiveness is complete—He forgives all your iniquity. We’ll dig into the details of this gracious forgiveness next week!

God heals. While God often heals our physical diseases, the healing the psalmist probably had in mind here is our spiritual healing from the disease of sin. As 1 Peter 2:24 says, “[Christ] himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” 

God redeems. When you were in the pit of guilt, shame, and death, the Lord was the one who rescued you. 

God surrounds you with steadfast love and mercy. “Crown” means to encircle or surround. The steadfast love and mercy of God surrounds you today. 

God satisfies you and sustains you. God’s goodness fills us up and fuels us for the Christian life. 

When we remember who God is and what He’s done for us, it leads us to trust Him more deeply and praise Him as He deserves. And unlike my toddlers who’ve grown into teens, God never changes. As we remember, we can depend on His unchanging character to be the same for us today and every day. 

No matter what you face this week, remember the benefits you’ve received from the Lord.
Years ago, my young daughter was stalling before b Years ago, my young daughter was stalling before bedtime in one of my favorite ways—by showering me with compliments from head to toe. As she moved from my hair to my clothes, she mentioned my wedding ring with the “fake diamond in it.” I laughed and corrected her, “No, Sweetheart, that’s actually a real diamond.” Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. “Mom!” she exclaimed. “You’re rich! You should take that to someone to sell it and buy me an American Girl doll!” 

Sometimes I feel the same way when I see the riches of God in display in His Word. The riches of the Father’s mercy (Eph. 2:4). The riches left by the Son when He took on flesh (2 Cor. 8:9). The Holy Spirit richly poured out through salvation in Christ (Tit. 3:5-6). 

My jaw drops and my eyes widen when I think that the One who has everything would choose to make me His child and provide me with an eternal inheritance. My Savior sacrificed it all to redeem me and purchased my salvation with His blood. 

For the past three weeks, we’ve been looking at our adoption as sons and daughters of God in Galatians 4. We’ve been adopted by God’s free grace, we have the privilege of calling God our Father, and we are no longer slaves to the law. Today we’ll see that our adoption makes us heirs to a glorious inheritance. 

“So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God” (Gal. 4:7). 

As children of God, we have a promised an inheritance that is imperishable and kept for us in heaven (1 Peter 1:3-4). Romans 8:17 tells us that we are co-heirs with Christ, and we can only imagine what His inheritance must be like! 

God’s abundant provision for us isn’t just the riches of eternal life with Him. He also gives what we need each day. In Matthew 7, we read that just as earthly parents give their children what they need, our heavenly Father will do the same for us. In the riches of His grace, He has everything that we need, and He will not withhold any good thing from us (Ps. 84:11). 

No matter what you face this week, God has made you an heir to the riches of His grace.
When I was a kid, I loved the movie “Annie”. W When I was a kid, I loved the movie “Annie”. When Annie first arrived at Mr. Warbucks’s house, the staff showed her around the house and asked what she would like to do first. Annie started listing areas she would start cleaning, because that’s what she was used to doing at the orphanage. She misunderstood why she was brought to Mr. Warbucks’s mansion. She wasn’t there as a servant but as a guest - and eventually as an adopted daughter. 

For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been looking at our adoption as sons and daughters of God. In Galatians 4:7-9, Paul contrasts the role of a slave and a son as he explains our adoption by God’s grace. 

“So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods. But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?” (Galatians 4:7-9)

In this portion of Galatians, Paul is in the middle of a larger argument about slavery and redemption. The church at Galatia had been led astray by teachers who said they had to earn their salvation by keeping the law. Paul wanted them to understand that they were no longer slaves, but they had been set free to be sons and daughters of God. 

God has always been the God who redeems His children from slavery. In Exodus 2, God heard the groaning of His people, the Israelites, who were enslaved in Egypt.  Exodus 2:25 says, “God saw the people of Israel—and God knew.” God heard, God knew, and then God acted to bring His people out of slavery and give them a secure place in the Promised Land. 

God acted to redeem us from slavery to the law by sending His Son to die as an atoning sacrifice for our sin (Galatians 4:4-5, 2 Corinthians 5:21). Now we live in the freedom of adoption—children who have been saved by grace and are no longer in bondage to the burden of the law. 

No matter what you face this week, we are no longer slaves, but adopted children of God.
When my son was a toddler, we went through an awkw When my son was a toddler, we went through an awkward phase when he used the word “dada” to refer to all men. I’d watch him look around the store and spot a random stranger, and I’d brace myself for what would come next. “Dada!” would fly enthusiastically from his mouth as Mr. Random Stranger looked around in confusion. 

My son didn’t yet understand that the word we use to refer to his daddy was a precious name for an even-more-precious relationship. Now that he’s older, he knows that the love of his father is unique. He calls him “Dad” because of the relationship they share. And we see in Galatians 4:6 that God has given us, His adopted children, the unique privilege of calling Him our Father: 

“And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’” (Galatians 4:6)

Abba is the Aramaic word for father, a word used specifically by children to refer to their fathers. Jesus cried out in prayer to His “Abba, Father” in the garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:36). If we’ve been united to Christ by faith and adopted into God’s family, we also have the privilege of calling God our Abba, Father. We can be confident in this privilege because Jesus taught us to call on God as our Father when we pray: “Pray then like this: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name’” (Matthew 6:9). 

In Galatians 4, we see the work of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit bringing us into this special relationship and giving us the privilege of calling God our Father. We saw last week that we are adopted children because God sent forth His Son to redeem us (Galatians 4:4-5). God also sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts. 

Paul tells us Romans 8:15 tells us that we cry “Abba, Father!” because of the Spirit of adoption given to us. He goes on to say, “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God” (Romans 8:16). Because God the Father has sent both His Son and His Spirit, we can have confidence in our status as adopted children of our heavenly Father. 

No matter what you face this week, we have the privilege of calling God our “Abba, Father.”
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