One year ago today, I was a busy and exhausted mom of three young kids. I had absolutely no interesting medical history, and my idea of physical suffering was vomiting during my otherwise-perfectly-normal pregnancies. I was consumed with taking care of my kids, preparing to host a baby shower for some friends, starting my Christmas shopping, and balancing my various church and community responsibilities. It is still strange for me to look back at that version of myself, cruising through life with no way of knowing what was coming.
In the past year, I experienced God’s sustaining power and faithfulness in a new way. I learned that my family and friends are incredible. I benefited from the generosity of so many people, both old friends and strangers who became new friends. I developed a greater appreciation for my husband and children. I gained a new perspective on being intentional with my time and being thankful for what God has given. I learned that God can be trusted, even when the outcome isn’t what we would have chosen. His ways are perfect.
In the past year, I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer that I had never heard of until the doctor called me with the diagnosis. I flew to Houston twelve times, spending about 14 weeks away from my children. I received seven rounds of high-dose chemotherapy and twenty-five radiation treatments. I had surgery (which turned out to be the easiest of all of it). I had six CT scans and countless blood draws and several transfusions. I spent weeks with virtually no white blood cells or platelets. I watched my kids open their birthday gifts via webcam and cried many, many tears.
In short, it was the most difficult year of my life and the most amazing year of my life.
After almost a year of blogging on Caring Bridge, it is good to be back at my old bloggy stomping grounds. Did I really have a Caring Bridge site? Did I really have cancer? It still seems surreal. But October is bringing back a lot of memories. The memories can be painful to process, but the overwhelming theme of my reflections on the past year is God’s faithfulness. He kept His promise to never leave us or forsake us, and we saw that He works all things for our good and for His glory. Therefore, we can trust Him no matter what the future holds.
Isaiah 43:1b-2: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass though the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
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(page 74). At the top of the page, I have written:
and any other online merchant who would like to supply me with a free-shipping coupon code. (No lines, no gasoline, and no time spent during precious mother’s day out hours!) While shopping, I’ll pick up any clothing items needed to take the Most Adorable Christmas Card Photo Ever.