Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

Prayer: Some Ideas

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About six months ago (wow, how time flies), I sent out an email to many of my friends digging into the personal depths of their prayer lives.  To the brave ones who wrote me back, thank you so much.  I promise to mention you by name only once or twice in this post.  😉

I was not surprised to find that I am not the only one who struggles with inconsistency in my prayer life.  We are all a little too tired, a little too busy, a little too undisciplined, a little too interested in tv and the internet and all the distractions of life.  Our mind wanders; the dryer buzzes; we get sleepy; the kids wake up.  We like to talk to people who audibly talk back.  It is difficult to carve out time to present our prayers and petitions to the Lord, and it seems nearly impossible to take the additional time to be still and listen to what He has to say.

I was also not surprised to find that my friends have some really good ideas when it comes to prayer . . .

On planning for prayer:

  • Have a shared prayer time with your husband.
  • Have a scheduled time to pray with a group of women (e.g., Moms In Touch at school).
  • Keep long-term needs and short-term needs in separate sections of a notebook and record answers to prayer.
  • Have a specific prayer task for each day of the week:  Monday–husband, Tuesday–kids, Wednesday–friends, Thursday–missionaries, etc.
  • Maximize family prayer time before meals, at bedtime, etc.  Pray with the kids while driving in the car.
  • Twice a year, take a significant chunk of time away to pray through needs of marriage, kids, family, and friends.  Journal and write down goals and prayer requests for the next 6 months to review next time and see how God is working.

On praying for our families:

  • Keep notebooks for each member of family, including self, write prayers for that person, or if there are not needs, how you can minister to them.
  • Pray over each person at night after they are asleep.
  • Read through the Bible in a year and make notes in that Bible for one specific family member.  Write prayers in it for him/her to have later.
  • Praying for your husband from his head to his feet–protection from temptation with his eyes, those he comes into contact with with a handshake at work, etc.

On praying for others:

  • Pray for someone immediately when you learn of the request so you don’t forget.
  • View intercession as something we can do as a ministry even when we have young kids at home and may not.

Helpful books/resources:

I love my friends and all their great ideas!  But if you’re anything like me, I suggest praying for discipline first and foremost.  I can have all the great tips and tools in the world, but I still have to make the decision to stop doing something else and go to the Lord in prayer.

What are some ideas or helps that have improved your prayer life?

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Prayer: The Why

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One of the primary areas I’d like to work on in 2010 is prayer.  At the beginning of the year, God brought the issue of my sub-par prayer life to my attention in various ways.  One was the teaching at our church women’s meeting when the speaker asked, “Do you look forward to praying?”  Uh, no.  It’s humbling and disgusting to admit, but many days I look forward to my favorite tv show or a date with my husband more than I look forward to spending significant time in prayer.

In recent years, as I have become more and more dependent on the Holy Spirit as a mother, prayer has become a greater part of my life.  But my prayer life is mostly informal–short prayers for help, wisdom, patience or self-control during the day.  Or praying for others when God brings them to mind.  That informal prayer life is valuable and important.  But when thinking about looking forward to prayer and reading a chapter on prayer in Secrets to Getting More Done in Less Time by Donna Otto, I realized that I need to develop a consistent, substantial time for prayer.

Otto writes:  “Fortunately, God is generous, loving, and–most of all–full of grace . . . He does not maintain prayer meters or time clocks . . . But the Lord of our lives deserves homage and our allegiance.  If we are too busy to commune with Him regularly, we are doing a disservice to Him and to ourselves” (p. 237).  She discusses the importance with combining the informal prayer life I’ve described with a formal prayer life:  time set aside for prayer, including adoration, confession, thanksgiving and presenting our requests to God.  This part of my prayer life has been inconsistent at best.

I love how Otto describes this time she spends with God:

Personally, I think of prayer time as a specific opportunity to get down on my knees and subordinate my will to God’s will.  God has a will.  God has a perfect will.  God is sovereign.  And through prayer I try to subordinate my will to His will.  I do that by asking Him to create in me a clean heart, to create in me a sinless heart that is in line with His plan for me and to allow His desires to be my desires (p. 252).

Who wouldn’t want their will to be in line with the will of their good, sovereign Creator?  I know I want that.  But I battle against my sinful nature daily as sleep, worldly desires and my to-do list wage war against setting aside this time with God.  I’ve been talking to other women about prayer and working to improve in this area, so I look forward to sharing more about this topic soon.  In the meantime, I hope you are as convicted and encouraged as I have been to set aside time for prayer.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  I Thessalonians 5:16-18

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A couple of ideas

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Occasionally I have a good idea.  It doesn’t happen often.  In fact, I think in the past year, I have had exactly two good ideas.  The second is the reason I’m writing this post, but I’ll share the first as a bonus.

Firstly, I have friends who teach their children the “Interrupting Rule”:  when mom is talking to another adult, either in person or on the phone, and the child has something to say, the child quietly puts his hand on his mom’s arm.  The mom puts her hand on top of his in acknowledgment, and when there is an opportunity, gives the child a chance to speak.  I’ve always admired this rule.  Last fall, I decided to teach it to Christopher.  As I was explaining what I wanted him to do, I had a moment of brilliance . . . I called it our “secret signal.”  There is something intriguing to a 4-year-old boy about having a secret signal, and he caught on right away.  He is terrific at giving me the secret signal!  Sometimes he even gives it to grandparents and other adults who can’t quite figure out why he is standing there with his hand on their arm.  🙂

My recent good idea has to do with praying for my kids.  I have used a couple of different books in the past, and they have been a great help.  My struggle recently has been wanting to spend in-depth time each day praying for my children.  Last summer, I typed out topics and Scripture from Praying the Scriptures for Your Children by Jodie Berndt.  I have used them some, but not as consistently as I’d like.

So the other night I cut and pasted the verses into a small notebook, making a flip calendar for myself.  I put it by my bathroom sink, since I spend 10-30 minutes there every morning doing mundane tasks such as brushing my teeth and drying my hair.  I realize this is not as ideal as sitting quietly, devoting myself only to praying these Scriptures for my children, but at least I am reminded of the topic and some verses that I can call to mind during the day.  I also find the verses to be edifying for my personal walk with the Lord each day.  When I’m done with Berndt’s topics, I may cut and paste my notes from
31 Days Of Prayer For My Child
–another great resource about praying for your children.

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Making Time For Quiet Time

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*** This post is part of Works For Me Wednesday at Rocks In My Dryer. Head over there to see everyone else’s great ideas! ***

A couple of weeks ago I started a new daily schedule for the summer. Before implementing my schedule, I rarely spent time with God in the morning, resting on the excuse that I am not a morning person. I often made time for Bible study and prayer in the afternoon during my kids’ rest time. This afternoon time was fairly consistent, but there were days when other responsibilities would distract me by the time 1:30 p.m. rolled around.

When I began my summer schedule, I decided to wake up every morning at 6:30 so I would have time to shower, get dressed, AND have my quiet time before my kids wake up. To hold myself accountable to this, I made a rule: No computer before Bible study.

This is radical for me, because I am addicted to the Internet. And if you are reading this, chances are, so are you. It is amazing how I never go one day without making time to check my email, Facebook and 14 favorite blogs. But I often go days without making time for my Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer.

I cannot claim to be 100% consistent with my new rule, but it has definitely helped. I am falling in love with my morning time with my Savior, and by His grace, I hope to become even more disciplined. I will probably need to ask myself over and over again: What is more important to me than spending time with God? What do I need to do to fix those priorities? Next idol to tackle: Sleep.

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