Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

  • About
    • Writing Coaching
    • Need a speaker?
  • The blog
    • Videos
    • Guest appearances
    • No Matter What Monday
    • Cancer
    • Family
    • Faith
  • The book
  • Contact
  • Free Ebook

The Most Selfish Thing I Do

March 2, 2015 by Marissa 1 Comment

I do a lot of selfish things.  I talk too much and interrupt people.  I throw adult-style, sophisticated temper tantrums when things don’t go my way.  I spent way too much time and money caring for myself, my reputation and my stuff.  I’ve known this for a long time.

But recently, I realized that there’s another way selfishness manifests itself in my life.  Every day.  Sometimes every hour.

 

I worry.

 

I worry about myself.  I worry about other people.  I worry about the weather, about the future, about the past.  And what is at the root of almost all of these worries?  Me.

Why do I worry about my future? Because I don’t want to experience suffering.  I try to figure out a way around hardship, because I don’t like it when life is difficult or sad or confusing.  I want an easy, happy life.

Sometimes, worry masquerades as concern for others.  But it’s mostly about me.  I worry about my husband, because I want him to be perfect so I don’t have to struggle in our marriage.  I worry about my children, because I don’t want to experience the pain of their bad choices.  I worry about my friend with cancer, because I will be sad if she dies.  I worry about the weather, but only when it is going to interfere with my plans.  I worry about world events that might someday impact me and my family.

 

Me.  Me.  Me.  Me.  Me.

 

Seeing the depth of selfishness associated with my worrying helps me to see why the Bible tells us not to worry.  Over and over again:  do not fear, do not be anxious about anything, do not worry about tomorrow.

The Lord knows that when we are worrying, we are focused on ourselves.  He wants us to be focused on Him, trusting Him, accepting what He gives with a peaceful heart.  He knows that what we need more than a happy, easy life is a quiet heart that is resting in Him.

 

You keep him in perfect peace

        whose mind is stayed on you,

        because he trusts in you.

Trust in the LORD forever,

        for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.

Isaiah 26:3-4

 

 

Share

Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: anxiety, contentment, faith, fear, peace, selfishness, sin, trials, trust, worry

Comments

  1. ty goode says

    March 2, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    thank you so much!! this could not have come at a better time for me! I really never thought of my worry as being selfish, but you are right, it is me, me, me! I will try hard to “let go and let
    God”!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Welcome

marissahenley.com

I write to remind myself of the truth of God's promises. I share my writing here in case you need to be reminded sometimes, too.

Learn more about the book!

marissahenley.com

Loving Your Friend through Cancer is now available! I'm excited to share this resource with you and pray it equips you to support your friend with compassionate care.

Let’s Connect Everywhere!

Instagram

marissa.henley

My sister recently texted me a photo of a plaque t My sister recently texted me a photo of a plaque that said: “Let’s assume I’m right. It will save time.” I know why it made her think of me! For her entire life, she’s kindly tolerated an older sister who always wants to be right and wants other people to acknowledge that she’s right. I often feel strongly about being justified in my beliefs or in my behavior. 

Merriam-Webster defines “justify” as “to prove or show to be just, right, or reasonable.” And while we can try to justify ourselves in the sight of others with our persuasive words or good works, there is only one way for sinners to be justified before God. 

This month we are looking at benefits we receive from Christ’s death and resurrection. Over the past two weeks, we’ve looked at the benefits of reconciliation and forgiveness. Romans 3:23-24 teaches us that we receive the gift of justification through the redemption that Christ purchased for us. 

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23–24)

In these verses, Paul starts with the bad news: we have all sinned. We can’t justify ourselves before God, because we fall short of the righteousness God requires. We can’t do anything to deserve God’s gracious gift, and we can’t earn it on the basis of our own works or merit. 

But here’s the good news: In Christ Jesus, we are declared righteous by the gift of God’s free grace. 

God doesn’t just overlook our sin and declare us to be righteous when we’re not. He declares us righteous because the Righteous One suffered and died in our place. Christ purchased our redemption by living a perfect life in our place and taking the punishment our sin deserved. Now Christ’s righteousness is given to those who place their trust in Him. 

If you are in Christ, when God looks at your life, He sees Christ’s perfect record. There’s no need to argue your case or try to prove yourself worthy. You can walk in the joy and freedom of God’s grace. 

No matter what you face this week, you are justified by God’s grace.
Do you have regrets as you look back on your past? Do you have regrets as you look back on your past? We all have moments we’re not proud of. Maybe you’re currently struggling with sin, and you’re consumed with guilt every time you mess up again. Or maybe you’re heaping up small regrets with each trip around the sun. The more I learn about God’s holiness, the more I become aware of how I sin against Him every day. 

As we look ahead to celebrating Easter, we’re spending this month looking at the benefits we receive from Christ’s death and resurrection. Last week we learned about how Christ reconciled us to God. Today we will see that because Christ shed His blood for us, all our sin has been forgiven. 

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

When we confess that we are sinners and need the salvation Christ provides, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins. 

God is faithful to forgive our sins because He always keeps His promises. Psalm 130:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” You can count on Him to forgive you today and every day, because He never fails to do what He says He will do. 

God is just to forgive our sins because our forgiveness was secured by Jesus when He bled and died for us. First John 1:7 tells us that “the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” God poured out the punishment we deserved on Christ, and God won’t demand payment for that sin again. His justice has been satisfied by Christ, and our forgiveness is the glorious result. 

God is faithful and just to forgive all our sin—past, present, and future. There is no sin so great that Jesus Christ’s sacrifice can’t cover it. The blood of Jesus was sufficient, so for all who hope in Him, forgiveness is completely secure. We can rejoice as we celebrate Christ’s death and resurrection for us, knowing we are fully forgiven. 

No matter what you face this week, Jesus Christ died to secure your forgiveness.
Have you ever wanted to trade places with someone? Have you ever wanted to trade places with someone? Many mornings, my dog torments me by curling up in the empty space I just left in my bed. As I stand at the bathroom sink getting ready for the day, I’m forced to watch him lay his little white head on my pillow and doze off. 

His life seems so easy: sleep, eat, repeat. But then I remember that he eats the same thing every day and has to go outside to use the bathroom, even in frigid temperatures and thunderstorms. Maybe the trade wouldn’t be so great after all! 

This month’s devotionals focus on the benefits we receive from Christ’s death and resurrection. Today we’ll see that Jesus took our place to reconcile us to God. 

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:21)

Christ became sin for our sake. In this passage, Paul is talking about reconciliation—specifically, how sinners are reconciled to a holy God. He humbled Himself in the form of a servant, coming under the curse and receiving the punishment our sin (Philippians 2:7-8). Because Christ took on our sin, we are reconciled to God. 

Christ became sin even though He was sinless. If He had sinned even once, the punishment He received would be His own. Only a sinless Lamb could be our substitute and take our punishment on the cross. 

Christ became sin so that in Him we might receive righteousness and reconciliation. We can think of this as “The Great Swap.” On the cross, Christ took our place and received the punishment our sin deserved. In exchange, He gives us His perfect record of obedience--His righteousness. We are reconciled to God because of what Christ’s obedience earned for us: right standing before a holy God and eternal life with Him. 

This Great Swap is the good news of the Gospel: those who are in Christ look at the cross and see their punishment given to Christ and the righteousness of Christ given to them to reconcile them to God. 

No matter what you face this week, Christ took our place to reconcile us to God.
When my daughter was younger, there was a predicta When my daughter was younger, there was a predictable routine every time there was a thunderstorm at night. I’d wake to the sound of thunder and see the hall light turn on. Then my daughter would appear in the doorway and crawl in bed next to me until the storm had passed. 

Back then (and even today), my daughter didn’t want to be alone when she was scared. Her dolls and stuffed animals couldn’t provide the comfort she needed, and not even her beloved dog was sufficient. She sought comfort in the presence of those who love her and knew what she needed. 

I’ve tried to teach my daughter to turn to the Lord when she’s afraid—and not just so she’d start sleeping in her own bed through a thunderstorm. I love comforting her when I can, but I know there will be times when life is hard and I’m not just down the hallway. I want her to learn that there is One who loves her even more than I do. Her Heavenly Father is always with her. 

“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.” (Psalm 139:7-10)

This month as we’ve studied God’s provision, we’ve seen how God provides for our needs, gives wisdom, and equips us. But best of all, He provides His presence. 

In this psalm, David used extremes to make the point that God is present everywhere we go. He is always with us, and He is always holding and guiding us. Every decision we wrestle with, He will lead us. Every storm we endure, He will hold us. 

No matter how far we go or how difficult our trials become, we are never left on our own. Our faithful Father is always with us. 

No matter what you face this week, God provides His unfailing presence.
Several years ago, I stared out the window on a Sa Several years ago, I stared out the window on a Saturday morning, sipping coffee and enjoying the early morning quiet of a house filled with my sleeping family. The silence was broken by a sound I interpreted at first to be my children jumping up and down upstairs. As the house shook, the waves of realization came slowly across my slightly-caffeinated brain: an earthquake. 

I had no idea where I should be or what I should do. I live in Arkansas, not California! Was I supposed to bring everyone downstairs to a bathroom, like in a tornado? Get everyone out of the house like in a fire? Get under a desk or into a doorway? Thankfully, the earthquake ended by the time I gathered my confused, bleary-eyed family, and we were fine. 

After we settled down, I was struck by how unprepared I was. When the unexpected happens, we often find ourselves feeling scared, confused, or even frantic. Life is happening, and we need to act or respond, but we have no clue what to do. 

This month we’re studying God’s provision. We’ve seen how He supplies all our needs and generously gives us wisdom. He also prepares us for every task He calls us to do. 

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)

In the verses right before this one, Paul explained how God provided for us in salvation. (Go read Ephesians 2:1-9 - they’re great verses!) We were incapable of saving ourselves, and God intervened with His mercy and grace. Paul made it clear that we are not saved by our good works but we are saved by the gift of God’s grace. 

As those who have been saved by grace, we do good works out of gratitude for our salvation. And just like God didn’t leave us on our own to earn our salvation, He doesn’t leave us to tackle the good works by ourselves. He prepares good works for us to do and prepares us to do that work. We can trust Him to perfectly equip us for all that He calls us to do. 

No matter what you face this week, God has prepared you for this, because you are His workmanship.
Few things in life have driven me to the Lord in p Few things in life have driven me to the Lord in prayer more regularly than parenting teens. Parenting has never been easy. But it feels like the older my kids get, the less I know. The articles and books I read overwhelm me as I realize that every teen is different, every school is different, every situation is different. 

I have no idea how to do this. 

I wish parenting were my only area of confusion. I’ve got other questions: How do I decide which opportunities to pursue and how to spend my time? What’s the best way to encourage my husband when he faces challenges at work? How do I talk to my kids about current events and the brokenness of our culture? How do I support a friend who’s going through a difficult situation? 

Maybe you have tough questions, too. Here’s the good news: God has all wisdom, and He generously shares it when we ask Him. 

 “For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints.” (Proverbs 2:6-8)

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)

In James 1, the context is James’s writing about how God’s people respond to suffering. Those difficult circumstances are when we’re most likely to throw up our hands and admit, “I have no idea what to do!” 

In those moments, James exhorts us to ask God for wisdom. When we do, He will give generously and without reproach. He won’t roll His eyes or sigh that we’re asking again. He loves to answer our prayers for wisdom, because they demonstrate our dependence and trust in Him. 

Like we saw last week, God’s supply of wisdom will never run out. He knows the hearts of our loved ones. He knows our circumstances. He knows what’s best for us. He knows it all, and He promises to generously give us the wisdom we need when we ask Him. 

No matter what you face this week, God will give the wisdom you need.
I’m wearing my Geek Badge proudly as I confess t I’m wearing my Geek Badge proudly as I confess to you: I loved packing my kids’ backpacks for the first day of school. Sadly, they pack their own now, but I just loved the shiny folders. The unmarred notebooks. The textbooks just begging to be cracked open. And the spotless pencil box, filled with perfectly sharpened pencils, a clean glue stick, and every single one of the 24 crayons boxed in perfect order.

It never took long the backpack scene to descend into chaos, but on that first day, I was confident that my children had everything they needed. I love this new-pencil feeling because it feels good to have what you need. To have the confidence that no matter what you face, you are prepared.

If only I had this confidence every day. Instead, I look at my to-do list or my calendar, and I wonder, Do I have what I need to do this? Do I have enough time? Energy? The knowledge or skill I need to finish these tasks?  Some days I’m not so sure my mental and physical supplies will be sufficient.

Maybe you’re wondering, too. What are you facing this week? What do you need?

Philippians 4:19 promises we always have what we need: “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

In this passage, Paul thanked the Philippians for their financial support. He reassured them that he had all that he needed, and he was just as confident that they would have all they needed. Why was Paul so confident? Because the One who supplies our needs does so from His “riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

We know that God can easily meet all our needs without ever being depleted, because His riches in glory are infinite. We also know that He will meet all our needs because He has already provided for our greatest need—our need for redemption—by giving His Son for us.

This month we will look at verses about God’s provision. He not only provides for our salvation and our physical needs, but He also gives us wisdom, equips us for every task, and provides His unfailing presence. I hope we’ll be encouraged that His riches are sufficient for our every need.
 
No matter what you face this week, God will supply every need.
Over the past few weeks, we’ve taken a deep dive Over the past few weeks, we’ve taken a deep dive into God’s providence: His sustaining power by which He governs and directs all things according to His purpose, without limit and throughout all eternity. When we talk about God’s providence, the question inevitably arises: What about human decisions?

I hate to disappoint you, but this topic has been debated for centuries and probably won’t be satisfactorily explained in this short devotional. 😝 But, as we should with any question we have about God, let’s turn to His Word and see how it shapes our thinking.

In Genesis 45, we find the words Joseph spoke to his brothers, years after they sold him into slavery in Egypt:

“And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life . . . So it was not you who sent me here, but God.” (Gen 45:5, 8a)

So who caused Joseph to end up in Egypt—God or Joseph’s brothers? Did Joseph’s brothers make a free and sinful choice to sell their brother into slavery? Yes, they did. Did God send Joseph to Egypt for the sake of His good plan to preserve His people? Yes, He did.

We tend to think of causality in human terms as a zero-sum game, meaning there can’t be two causes that are both 100% the cause of an event. But God’s causality is transcendent—it's not like human causality at all. There’s no zero-sum game between God’s providence and our freedom.

God’s Word teaches both the total sovereignty of God and the freedom of His creatures. As we consider this mystery, we must also acknowledge that as His creatures, we are not independent of Him. Even our creaturely freedom is a result of His providence.

So when we say God’s sustaining power directs and governs all things, this includes human decisions, even evil decisions (Gen 50:20) and those made by the most powerful people (Prov 21:1).

I know this has been heavy, and we may not agree on every point. That’s okay. But I hope this truth brings comfort as we remember that nothing can reach us without passing through God’s providential, faithful hands.

No matter what you face this week, God’s providence includes all the human decisions that affect our lives.
This month we’ve been studying God’s providenc This month we’ve been studying God’s providence—His power to sustain, govern, and direct all things, according to His purpose and without limits. Today we’ll see in the book of Isaiah that God’s providence extends through all eternity in the past, present, and future. 

“Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,’ calling a bird of prey from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it.” (Isaiah 46:8-11)

Isaiah’s prophecy in the previous chapters wasn’t good news for God’s people in Judah. Isaiah prophesied that they would be taken into exile in Babylon, and God would then work through a Persian king rather than through another king of Israel like David. The people of Judah must have felt dread as they heard these prophecies. 

But then God reminded the people that He is not like other gods. God wanted them to remember the truth about Him and therefore stand firm in their exile. According to Bible scholar J. Alec Motyer, these verses are “Isaiah’s final appeal to Israel to accept the Lord’s will and trust his providence.” 

This appeal is made based on what is true about God: 

“There is none like me . . .”— Only the Lord has the power to rule providentially in this world He created. He’s not battling for control; He’s in control. 

“declaring the end from the beginning . . . “ — He orchestrates all of history, from the very beginning to the very end, all by the power of His word. 

“I have purposed, and I will do it.” — The Lord accomplishes all His purposes. If He wills it, He will do it. 

Whether you’re anxious today about global events or the cells in your own body, whether you’re concerned with your past mistakes or the future for your great-grandchildren, remember this and stand firm: No matter what you face this week, God’s providence extends to every event of history and eternity.
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Looking For Something?

Copyright © 2023 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in