Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

Convicting and Encouraging Moments

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This has been a tough week.  Due to on-call scheduling that we will never do again, Daddy was at work almost all of last weekend and worked late every night this week.  It made each and every one of us tired and cranky.  Throw in hefty doses of 2-year-old tantrums and 4-year-old lying, and you have a disaster brewing.  By Friday night, I had HAD IT.  Actually, I had had it about 5 times already and was working on #6.  It was dinner time, and Daddy was not home.  As I put food in front of the kids, Christopher asked me to turn on their new Bible verse CD, Steve Green’s Hide Em in Your Heart.  It is fairly new for my kids, and they LOVE it.  (Thank you, Pearce!)  Christopher has learned several verses and the Lord’s Prayer in a week–I highly recommend it.

One of the songs is based on 1 John 3:16:  By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. As I listened to my children’s sweet voices singing along about Christ laying down His life for us, I felt convicted.  I was not loving my kids well.  I was not laying my life down for them.  I felt resentful of the ways they were sinning against me and making my life difficult.  How much more have I sinned against my Savior again and again, but He still went to the cross for me.  And so I am to lay down my life for my children (and others).

In that moment of conviction and guilt and sadness for my sin, I looked up from the kitchen to see Christopher looking at me with a Cheshire-cat grin on his face.  He said, “Momma, I’m smiling at you!”  “Why?”  I asked.  “Because I like you a lot,” he answered.

Our God is so good.  He doesn’t leave us in our sin.  He convicts us, but He also doesn’t leave us wallowing in our guilt.  He graciously encourages us, letting us know that we are forgiven in Christ.  And often He provides a respite . . . soon after, Daddy arrived home from work, and everything was so much better.

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Proverbs

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A wise woman (my pastor’s wife) pointed out recently that there are 31 chapters in Proverbs, and perhaps we should be reading one a day each month. So in July, I set out to read Proverbs. I’m a little behind the one chapter a day schedule . . . probably on the two-month regimen. But it has been fabulous. I’m amazed at how the Holy Spirit has brought specific verses to my attention at just the right time. Here are some verses that have stood out to me:

Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understand, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Prov 2:3-5. Am I searching for wisdom from God or for earthly riches?

The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense. Prov 10:20-21. For the sake of my children and others around me, is righteousness or foolishness on my tongue?

Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like a green leaf. Prov 11:28. I think you all know this is an issue for me.

A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims folly. Prov 12:23. This one has me evaluating what I write on my blog.

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. Prov 12:25. Feeling weighed down? I do often.

A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. Prov 13:1. I want to be receptive to my heavenly Father’s instruction, so I can teach my children how to grow in wisdom as well.

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. Prov 13:3-4. Ouch and double ouch. That darn snooze button betrays me every time.

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Prov 13:24. I’m sure this one doesn’t need explanation if you know I have a 2-year-old.

As you can see, there’s all kinds of good stuff there. I encourage you to read Proverbs with me–if you start now, you will have a head start on August!

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Platform or Purpose?

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I finally got around to finishing Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow, and I’m still working through the great concepts in this book. (Click here to see my other posts about this book.)

In a chapter on our focus, Dillow discusses the temptation to focus on the future rather than the present.  She challenges women to have a well-defined purpose (preferably a written statement) that drives their priorities and decisions, rather than letting activities and busyness rule.  I hope to write a purpose statement soon–right now, my activities are getting in the way!  Ha!

I also love a quote from one of Linda Dillow’s friends, Phyllis Stanley: “When I had children, I remember thinking, are my children now my purpose? I realized that my children are my platform, not my purpose” (p. 112). What a great perspective!  As a stay-at-home mom, it is so easy to get lost in mommy world.  It is easy to use my familiy as an excuse to not get involved in other ministry.  It is easy to put ministry, friendships, and even my marriage on the back burner while my attention is focused on the kids.

I love thinking of my kids as my platform.  They are the primary platform I have for ministry at this stage of my life.  But someday, they will be grown and God will provide another platform.  I need to look past the platform at the purpose.  How can I best glorify God in this season of my life and those that come later?  How can I make decisions based on my purpose, not just my platform?  How can I set an example for my kids, showing them that I not only love and serve them, but I love and serve God even more?

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A Meek and Quiet Spirit, Part 2

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I recently finished Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell and heartily recommend it to you, whether you are homeschooling or not. I hope to homeschool part-time, and this book was very relevant to me. Although there is some content in the book related specifically to homeschooling, it just as well could have been titled “Parenting with a Meek and Quiet Spirit.”  (You may want to see my earlier post on the first half of the book.)

In her chapter on “Hard Work and Dying to Self,” Maxwell emphasizes that as mothers, we should not expect much time to ourselves. This is a tough one for me. In the past, I have identified myself as the type of mom who needs time away from my kids. Lately, God has shown me that this is not a need, it is a desire. He supplies it often, but I should not demand it. And I should not grow resentful when I don’t think I’m getting enough of it. Every minute that I’m with my kids is an opportunity to share the Gospel with them, train them in righteousness, and love them. I should not wish that time away.

Another great point in this chapter was that if you were not homeschooled, you should be careful not to compare your life to your mother’s. In most cases, your mother had five days each week while you were at school to complete housework, work outside the home, or accomplish other wonderful things. She probably spent evenings and weekends relaxing with her husband and family. If you are homeschooling, your life will look very different. I know that once my kids are in school part-time, it will be difficult for me to not compare my life to my friends whose kids are in school full-time. I’m sure I will sway back and forth between insane jealousy and self-righteous pride in our choice–both sinful attitudes. I pray that God will keep me humbly obedient to what He has called us to do.

Another great point that Maxwell discusses is our role as a helper for our husband. (See Genesis 2:18.) She writes that we are not to view our husband as our helper (although he hopefully will be from time to time!), but we should be looking for ways we can help and support him. I am definitely guilty of thinking, “What can my husband do to help me today?” After all, he has been idly sitting around operating on people’s hands while I slave away at home all day! I cringe at the thought of serving him–do I seriously have to add one more person to the list of people who demand my help and attention? And yet, Genesis 2 tells me that this is my role. I was created to be Noel’s helpmeet. And God will provide the strength to fulfill this role.

One last thing I loved in this book was her reminder that we need to smile more at home. I wish I could see myself through my kids eyes, or walk around with a mirror in front of my face. I suspect that my face shows annoyance, exhaustion and frustration more than it shows joy. Maxwell suggests that making an effort to smile more will go a long way toward creating a more joyful atmosphere in the home. Surely I can handle that!

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