Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

Just 67 days until Christmas!

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I know, I know . . . you’re just trying to get through Halloween and Thanksgiving without having chest pains every time you walk into Hobby Lobby and are forced to think about how Christmas is almost upon you, with all it’s stress and busyness reminded about the upcoming celebration of our Savior’s birth and all it’s wonderful traditions and fun!

A couple of years ago, I discovered a new (to me) way of preparing for Christmas that has revolutionized my experience of Advent, the month of December, and the celebration of Christ’s birth.  I have started planning to finish all of my Christmas preparations–shopping, wrapping, mailing cards, etc.–by December 1.  I’ve found that it makes a huge difference in my energy level and enthusiasm by the time Christmas arrives if I’ve spent the weeks leading up to it enjoying Advent activities with my family rather than running myself ragged, fighting crowds at Target and wrapping gifts until midnight.

The key to this strategy is planning.  The way I plan is by making a long list of everything that needs to happen and then work backwards, scheduling it out and figuring out when I need to start each task.  For example, I can’t mail Christmas cards until I have a Christmas card.  I won’t have a Christmas card unless I order one.  I can’t order one unless we take a family photo.  I can’t take a family photo until everyone has color-coordinated outfits to wear.  (That’s just how I roll.)  So each of these tasks is on my checklist.  That way, I don’t get to the end of November, realize no one has anything to wear in a family photo for the Christmas card I want to mail out next week, and go running to the mall on Black Friday to try to find something.  (Nightmare!)

I apologize for not getting this post up sooner.  I started my preparations at the end of September.  But it’s not too late!  Every bit you get done ahead of December 1 will mean less stress for you in November.  Sit down right now and make your list!

To help you, click below for an example of my checklist to get you started.  Once you try it, you’ll never go back!

December 1 Checklist

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas . . .

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Ok, not really.  I think it was almost 90 degrees today.  But in my head, it’s beginning to look like Christmas.  And at Hobby Lobby, which I used to find annoying.  But not since I discovered the greatest idea since Kid Cuisine frozen meals . . . finishing Christmas preparations by December 1!

Last year I tried my new December 1 strategy for the first time, and it was such a blessing to me and my family.  I was so much less stressed and able to enjoy celebrating the birth of my Savior.  So I’m planning to do it again and would like to invite you, dear reader, to join me.

Here’s my plan:

By October 1:  I’m going to request Christmas wish lists from family members.  They might shoot me.  But I’ll play nice and supply our family wish lists at the time I make the request.

Mid-October:  I’ll start Christmas shopping, relying heavily on Amazon.com and any other online merchant who would like to supply me with a free-shipping coupon code.  (No lines, no gasoline, and no time spent during precious mother’s day out hours!)  While shopping, I’ll pick up any clothing items needed to take the Most Adorable Christmas Card Photo Ever.

Late-October:  I’ll take the Most Adorable Christmas Card Photo Ever.  Given past experiences, this will take me approximately 4 days.  When not yelling, “Smile!  Look like you love each other!” I’ll bake some things and stick them in the freezer for holiday parties in December.

Early November:  I’ll order Christmas cards and envelopes, write the Christmas letter, buy stamps, and check the accuracy of the Christmas card mailing list.  I also hope to be close to finished with shopping and will start wrapping gifts.

Mid-November:  Wrapping will be in full swing, shopping should be finished.

Late November:  Address and stuff Christmas cards, finish wrapping, decorate the house.  Eat some turkey and watch some football.

The Monday after Thanksgiving, I will mail our Christmas cards and annoy all my friends who haven’t even started thinking about such things.  I will feel slightly guilty about that, but I will try to remember that I’m not doing this for my pride, I’m doing this so I can enjoy the Advent season with my family.

December:  As I learned last year, December will still be busy.  There will be school parties, work parties, crafts, baking, cleaning . . . but most of all, I hope Christ will be exalted and worshipped in my home!

That’s my plan.  Who’s with me?  You can come to my blog and click on the “Christmas by Dec. 1” tab at the top if you’d like to ignore all my posts about Radical and prayer binders and just focus on getting ready for Christmas.  I’d love to have you on this adventure with me!

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Flashback: How to be a Better Mom

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Below is an excerpt from a blog post I wrote in May 2008:

I don’t know about you, but I am constantly wondering how I could be a better mom. I’ve read a lot of books and talked to a lot of experienced moms, searching for information that might help in my own child-raising struggles. Sometimes I’ll even manage to put a great idea into practice for about a week, and then I fall right back into the same pattern of begging, yelling and bribing in an effort to squeeze some small amount of obedience from my children. I start the day wanting to set a joyful tone for our home, but I find myself become discouraged and irritable, often by 9:00 a.m. (on good days). I feel like I have the pieces of the puzzle, but I can’t keep them together for more than a couple of hours at a time.

On my search for the answer to these dilemmas, I would hear people talk about spending time daily in God’s Word and in prayer. Honestly, I thought it was a little legalistic and regimented. I knew I should be spending more time with God, but it was so hard to set aside the time. (Strangely enough, I have no problem finding the time to play on Facebook and watch American Idol.)

Then came Bible Study Fellowship. I am finishing my first year in BSF, and I can now say that I have discovered the secret to being a better mom. Those “legalists” were right: the answer is spending time with God daily. (Or almost daily, in my case–just being honest!) I still fall short over and over again . . . take this morning, for example, when I was yelling at Christopher about 30 minutes before leaving for BSF. But I find myself less discouraged, less irritable, more joyful, and handling the rough spots in my life much better than I did a year ago. I know the reason for this is that God has been convicting me of my sin and teaching me about His character and truth through my study of His Word. I look forward to becoming even more wise, self-controlled and joyful in my parenting as He teaches me more.

At this point, you might be thinking, “This BSF has a parenting class?” That’s the crazy part about it. I’ve been studying the Gospel of Matthew this year. From the book of Matthew, I’ve learned huge lessons about materialism, obedience, forgiveness, relying on God’s strength, worship, contentment, being a better wife and mom, and so much more. God’s Word is always effective–when it goes out, it never returns void–so no matter what you are studying in God’s Word, He knows what you need and He will teach you through His Truth. It shouldn’t have taken me this long to figure out: Christ tells us in John 15:4-5 that we need to abide in Him. Jesus said that He is the Vine, we are the branches, and we cannot bear fruit apart from Him. It is only by being connected to the Vine that we can accomplish what He has called us to do.

So if you want to be a better mom (or wife, or daughter, or friend), let me encourage you to plug yourself into the only Vine that can provide what you need. If you do not have a Bible study that challenges you to daily study God’s Word and apply it to your life, check to see if there is a BSF group in your area. Two things I love about BSF are the weekly lessons that hold me accountable to be in God’s Word throughout the week and the children’s program for children ages 6 weeks old through high school. It is not just child care–the children study the same passage as we do, and the program is fabulous (and free!).

I’m reposting this now, because it is still just as true as it was two years ago.  God has used BSF in my life in a big way to help me grow in discipline and my understanding of His Word.  As you are making commitments this fall, would you consider finding a Bible study that challenges you in these ways?

BSF classes around the country will be having introductory classes the weeks of September 13 and 20 for this year’s new study:  Isaiah! It’s going to be good.  And bring your kids . . . daytime classes offer children’s programs for children ages 6 weeks through kindergarten, and evening classes offer programs from 1st grade through high school.  I can’t wait to work on Christopher’s lesson with him this year as he starts the elementary program!

If you want more information about finding a BSF class, please leave me a comment or email me at marissahenley@gmail.com.

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Prayer: The Why

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One of the primary areas I’d like to work on in 2010 is prayer.  At the beginning of the year, God brought the issue of my sub-par prayer life to my attention in various ways.  One was the teaching at our church women’s meeting when the speaker asked, “Do you look forward to praying?”  Uh, no.  It’s humbling and disgusting to admit, but many days I look forward to my favorite tv show or a date with my husband more than I look forward to spending significant time in prayer.

In recent years, as I have become more and more dependent on the Holy Spirit as a mother, prayer has become a greater part of my life.  But my prayer life is mostly informal–short prayers for help, wisdom, patience or self-control during the day.  Or praying for others when God brings them to mind.  That informal prayer life is valuable and important.  But when thinking about looking forward to prayer and reading a chapter on prayer in Secrets to Getting More Done in Less Time by Donna Otto, I realized that I need to develop a consistent, substantial time for prayer.

Otto writes:  “Fortunately, God is generous, loving, and–most of all–full of grace . . . He does not maintain prayer meters or time clocks . . . But the Lord of our lives deserves homage and our allegiance.  If we are too busy to commune with Him regularly, we are doing a disservice to Him and to ourselves” (p. 237).  She discusses the importance with combining the informal prayer life I’ve described with a formal prayer life:  time set aside for prayer, including adoration, confession, thanksgiving and presenting our requests to God.  This part of my prayer life has been inconsistent at best.

I love how Otto describes this time she spends with God:

Personally, I think of prayer time as a specific opportunity to get down on my knees and subordinate my will to God’s will.  God has a will.  God has a perfect will.  God is sovereign.  And through prayer I try to subordinate my will to His will.  I do that by asking Him to create in me a clean heart, to create in me a sinless heart that is in line with His plan for me and to allow His desires to be my desires (p. 252).

Who wouldn’t want their will to be in line with the will of their good, sovereign Creator?  I know I want that.  But I battle against my sinful nature daily as sleep, worldly desires and my to-do list wage war against setting aside this time with God.  I’ve been talking to other women about prayer and working to improve in this area, so I look forward to sharing more about this topic soon.  In the meantime, I hope you are as convicted and encouraged as I have been to set aside time for prayer.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  I Thessalonians 5:16-18

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