Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

Sharing God’s Story ~ Guest post at Over A Cup

by Leave a Comment

Henley family 2011“I’ll be a little disappointed if this lump isn’t cancer,” I told my husband after returning home from Bible study in October 2010. In that evening’s lesson on Isaiah 12, our teacher exhorted us to glorify God in front of a watching world by trusting him in the midst of suffering. As I scribbled notes furiously, I couldn’t help thinking of the biopsy I had scheduled for later in the week. My faithful Father was preparing me for the outcome by showing me His purpose in suffering: That His name would be glorified by my dependence on Him and continued praise of His character.

Less than a week later, I received a diagnosis of angiosarcoma, a rare and aggressive cancer with a five-year survival rate of 30%. I was a busy mom of three young kids—my boys were 6 and 4, and my baby girl was 18 months old. I had expected to grow old with my husband and see my kids grow into adulthood. And suddenly, I was fighting to see my 35th birthday.

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I’m grateful for the opportunity to share the story of God’s faithfulness in my life at Over A Cup today. Click over there to finish reading!

Share

10 Ways to Pray for Your Friend with Cancer

by 4 Comments

10 ways to pray

(The following is an excerpt from my book, Loving Your Friend Through Cancer.)

During one of the most difficult times in my treatment for cancer, my friend Sarah had a dream that she shared with me. Here is her description of the dream, in her own words:

“We were in a very large cathedral-style church. The pews were packed with people, some I recognized from church, but many I did not recognize at all. Everyone was praying and writing. They were writing their prayers. At the front of the church the stage was some sort of hospital room and you were lying on a table with doctors and nurses bustling around you. I talked to one woman who said, ‘I don’t know Marissa personally, but I’m honored to be here to pray for her.’ I was amazed at the outpouring of prayer for you and your healing. Everyone was giving you their prayers after they wrote them down as they left the church. I peeked at some of the letters and they all began with praise to God by worshiping his Name (mighty God, everlasting Father, omniscient, all-powerful, etc., just like we’ve learned from Isaiah). SO AWESOME.”

Her dream was an encouragement to me at a time of intense struggle and sorrow, because I knew it accurately depicted what was happening before the throne of the almighty God. Thousands of people were interceding on my behalf, including many I have never met. I regularly received cards from strangers saying they were praying for me. I received dozens of small yellow postcards from the prayer room of a church in Tennessee, letting me know someone had prayed for me. I still don’t know who put my name on that prayer list in Tennessee, but I am thankful.

Nothing is as powerful as bringing your friend before the throne of her creator and redeemer. Interceding on her behalf before the Lord of the universe is one of the greatest gifts you can give her. Long after the doctors tell her she’s cancer-free, keep your friend on your list for frequent prayer. And if the Lord calls your friend home to heaven, keep fervently praying for her loved ones.

Let your friend know you are praying for her on a regular basis. But please don’t just say it flippantly—do it! Your prayers for your friend not only benefit her as you intercede for her, but they will also benefit you as the Lord works in your heart in the midst of your own grief.

Pray for healing for your friend, of course. But don’t stop there. Here are some additional ways to pray for your friend.

  1. Pray for her to feel the closeness of the Lord as he strengthens, sustains, and comforts her (Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 62:1-2, Psalm 63:5-8).
  2. Pray for wisdom for friends and family members to support and encourage her in ways she needs the most (James 1:5).
  3. Pray against the feeling of isolation—physically, emotionally, and spiritually (Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 13:5b, Psalm 42, Psalm 56:8).
  4. Pray for wisdom in making medical decisions so that the patient, family members, and doctors will not have any regrets (Psalm 112:7-8).
  5. If she’s married, pray for God to strengthen her marriage and deepen her connection with her husband, and that she will look to the Lord to meet her needs when her husband falls short (Ephesians 5:22-23).
  6. Pray that she would develop a deep and abiding trust in the Lord, not placing her hope in a particular outcome, but wholly in God’s character—his sovereignty, goodness, and faithfulness to her specifically in this situation (Isaiah 43, Jeremiah 31:3, Romans 8:38-39).
  7. Pray that she will feel free to ask for help and support when she needs it, claiming the promise that God will meet all her needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
  8. Pray for joy and peace as she grieves the loss of her health and her “before cancer” expectations for her life, and that she will not be anxious about the future (Romans 15:13, Lamentations 3:21-24, Philippians 4:6-8).
  9. Pray that she will not waste her suffering, but be transformed and sanctified through the experience of suffering for God’s glory (Romans 8:28-29, Romans 12:1-2).
  10. Pray that God will prepare her to comfort others with the comfort she is now receiving (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

You’ve just read one of the chapters of my book, Loving Your Friend Through Cancer.  Want to learn more?

Share

Do you need the perfect gift for a cancer-fighting friend?

by Leave a Comment

I had the privilege today to write for the Cancerwise blog of MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. The piece describes how to choose the perfect gift for a friend with cancer and provides suggestions for you to consider. This is a question I hear often from women who have friends facing cancer, and I hope it provides useful information!

Click here to read the article on Cancerwise, then let me know what you think!

Share

Please don’t say THIS when someone tells you they have cancer

by 2 Comments

Please don't say THIS

 

Hey friend, can we have a chat about how you respond when someone tells you that they are a cancer fighter or survivor? This might make you cringe, or hurt your feelings, but whatever you do, please don’t call and apologize if you’ve said this to me. I have chemobrain, and all is forgotten (and forgiven).

 

This is a grace-filled conversation for your benefit and for the benefit of those you will meet in the future. I love my cancer-fighting brothers and sisters, and I want to help you respond to them with the love and support they need. So I’m having this hard conversation out of love for you and for them.

 

Here we go . . .

 

I’ve noticed that many times when I tell people I had cancer, their first question goes something like this: “How did you find out you had it? Did you have symptoms? Did you find a lump?”

 

I understand this reaction. I know I’ve reacted the same way when I’ve heard about someone else’s suffering. For most of us, our first response is to any piece of news is to wonder how it relates to ourselves.

 

If you wonder how I know this, it is because I am the most selfish person on this planet. I relate everything to myself. God is working on me in this, but I’ve got a long way to go. In the meantime, I get it. I understand why people respond this way to the news that a healthy, 34-year-old mom could suddenly be plagued by a rare, life-threatening disease.

 

But when I have this interaction with someone, it feels like this conversation happened:

 

Me: “I went through something hard. It was life-changing and difficult. It still affects me. I’m bringing you into my pain by sharing this with you.”

 

The Other Person: “I’m scared of this hard thing happening to me. What if it’s happening now, and I don’t realize it? Holy crap! I’m doing monthly self-exams. Please tell me that you weren’t, so I can feel better.”

 

Listen, I don’t want you worrying about the times you have responded this way to someone’s cancer story, especially if it was mine. (I seriously don’t remember.)

 

But now that you know, you can respond differently next time. I want my cancer-fighting sisters to have you hear their story and respond with love and compassion.

 

When someone tells you they have/had cancer, first have the “holy-crap-I-hope-that-doesn’t-happen-to-me” moment inside your head. Then focus on the person who has just shared their pain and show your concern for their current well-being.

 

If the diagnosis is recent, you could ask them how they’re feeling today, how they’re coping with the news, or how they are feeling about the next steps. If their story is in the past, ask them how they’ve grown or changed as a result, how their health is today, or what they’d like others to know about their experience.

 

Thanks for helping to love our cancer-fighters better. It’s a tough road to navigate, and we need to stick together. They deserve our very best support!

Share