cancer support Archives - Page 4 of 7

The Words No One Said to My Son that Night (and Why I’m Grateful)

October 19, 2017 by Marissa 3 Comments

The lights dimmed as I gripped my program and shifted in my seat with anticipation. After driving my son to what felt like 101 rehearsals, I was ready to watch him perform in his school’s junior high musical.

The spotlights followed the young teenagers around the stage, songs filled the air, and my son made the audience roar with laughter. I felt the familiar joy all moms feel as we watch our children do well. I felt relief that he didn’t forget his lines or trip over his own rapidly-growing feet.

I also felt a weight of gratitude that I suspect didn’t cross the other moms’ minds that evening. I was thankful that my son had a great time performing, for friends and relatives who joined us in the audience, and for a school that gives my child these opportunities. But there was one thing I was grateful for above all of these.

I was grateful that no one would say to my son that night, “Your mom sure would’ve loved this. She’d be so proud of you.”

Seven years ago, as I read the dismal survival rates for angiosarcoma, as I traveled to MD Anderson Cancer Center to receive months of treatment and participate in a clinical trial, as I walked through the early months and years of survivorship . . . I thought ahead to these moments. I saw my children, a few inches taller and a few years more mature, playing in piano competitions, dancing in ballet recitals, competing in spelling bees, and walking to the stage during school awards assemblies.

No matter how much I squinted and searched, I couldn’t see whether or not I was sitting in the crowd. I feared those normally-happy occasions would be marred by my absence. I imagined the sad half-smiles and the words others would say to console my children: “Your mom would be so proud.”

And by God’s grace, here I am. Not a week goes by that I don’t marvel at my presence here in 2017. I know other children are missing their moms, and it breaks my heart. I don’t take my present or future health for granted.

But as the house lights came up and I made my way to the lobby after the show, it was a joy to hug my son and say, “Wow, I really loved that! I sure am proud of you.”

Video ~ Three Things NOT to Say to Your Friend with Cancer

September 18, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

Do you hesitate to reach out to a friend with cancer because you’re scared you’ll say the wrong thing? Here are three things not to say, based on my experience as a cancer survivor and friend of cancer-fighters, and served up with a big dose of grace. This was recorded as a Facebook Live video in September 2017.

For more information on this topic, check out my book, Loving Your Friend through Cancer.

Supporting a Friend With Cancer {A Series of Guest Posts}

September 1, 2016 by Marissa Leave a Comment

Do you have a go-to website for local information? If you live in my neck of the woods, you should know about www.nwamotherlode.com. It’s a fabulous resource for busy moms! Over the past few months, the sweet ladies at NWA Motherlode have allowed me to share articles with their readers about how to support a friend with cancer. Here are excerpts of the four posts and links to read more . . . go check them out!

Three Easy Ways to Support Your Friend Diagnosed With Cancer

Has this happened to you? Your phone buzzes, and you look down to see a call from a friend who’s expecting biopsy results.

The minute you hear her voice, you know: it’s cancer.

As you process your shock, sadness and fear, you wonder how you should walk this road with your friend. How will you support her as she endures treatment and survivorship? How will you avoid doing or saying the wrong thing? What does she need most?

I’ve gotten that phone call from a friend. I’ve also been the tearful voice on the other end of the line. In October 2010, I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called angiosarcoma.

I endured several months of chemotherapy, radiation and surgery, most of which took place at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. My besties kept my household running, meals showed up three times a week, and the prayers of thousands encouraged and sustained me.

I wish every cancer-fighter could feel as loved and supported as I was. But too often, friends lack confidence and hesitate to reach out with supportive words and actions. If you haven’t already had a friend face cancer, it’s likely you will.

When that phone call comes, here are three simple ways to love your friend through cancer . . . [Click here to read more]

Five Practical Ways to Serve a Friend With Cancer

In a previous post, we discussed three ways to support a friend with cancer. Your friend needs your constant encouragement throughout her cancer journey. She also needs your practical acts of service.

Being diagnosed with cancer is like landing an unexpected full-time job. The work seems unending, and the pay stinks! Your friend probably didn’t have much free time before her diagnosis. Now she’s going to spend half her time in doctors’ waiting rooms and the other half sleeping off the treatment she receives there.

In other words, she needs your help.

Here are some ideas to consider as you serve your friend through her cancer treatment . . .[Click here to read more]

Beyond the Casserole: How to Take a Meal to a Sick Friend like a Rock Star

In previous posts in this series, we’ve looked at ways to provide emotional support and practical service for a friend with cancer. Close, inner-circle friends will care for most emotional and logistical needs, but those in the outer circles also wonder how they can help.

Even if you aren’t besties with your friend who has cancer, you still have a role to play in her support network.

You have three responsibilities:

1. Pray.

2. Communicate support.

3. Bring food.

If you’ve been an adult for awhile, you’ve probably taken a meal to a new mom. But the needs of women with cancer are different. You’re not dropping in on a smiling (but exhausted) woman cradling a newborn—in fact, you may not see your friend with cancer at all when you deliver a meal. Your friend’s family may be receiving meals for several months, not just a few weeks. She may have strict dietary restrictions or preferences that need to be considered. When you take dinner, you have an opportunity to love your friend well and show your concern.

Here are some ideas for those who want to take a meal like a rock star . . . [Click here to read more]

Why Your Cancer-Surviving Friend Still Needs You (And How You Can Help)

I’ve lived through the scene several times: I sit across from a cancer survivor who recently finished treatment. We wrap our hands around our lattes and lean in close so the guy in the next booth won’t hear our discussion of post-mastectomy life.

And then she says, “Everyone around me thinks I’m better. They’ve all moved on. But I’m not okay. I need my friends to understand I’m still struggling.”

If you’re friends with a cancer survivor, she still needs you. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind as you support her through her survivorship . . . [Click here to read more]

“When Your Friend Has Cancer” ~ Check out this guest post!

May 2, 2016 by Marissa Leave a Comment

Today I’m thankful for an opportunity to share on my husband’s cousin’s blog. Lisa Lloyd is a writer, actor, speaker, and upcoming author. We are eagerly awaiting the release of her first book! In the meantime, she writes inspiring, heartfelt words on faith, forgiveness and motherhood.

Here’s a preview of my post on her website. Check it out and read some of Lisa’s posts while you’re there!

Five years ago, I was a young mom of three when I first heard the words: “It’s cancer.” I was standing alone in my bedroom, but I wasn’t alone for long.

Within hours, a few family members and friends came over and joined me in my shock and grief. The next day—my 34^th birthday—a larger group of friends gathered for a surprise birthday party full of tearful prayers. And over the coming months, a multitude of supporters sustained our family with love, prayers and service.

My battle against angiosarcoma, a rare and aggressive cancer with a grim prognosis, involved months of high-dose chemotherapy, a clinical trial at MD Anderson Cancer Center, radiation, and surgery. I spent 14 weeks away from my family receiving treatment in Houston and fighting to see my children grow up.

Our logistical, emotional and spiritual needs seemed overwhelming. And yet, God met all of our needs, often through our friends’ sacrificial service. My friends loved us so well that I’ve written a book to share my friends’ example with other women and equip them to support their friends with cancer.

I hope that you never need to know how to love a friend through cancer. But it’s likely that at some point, you will. So here are a few tips I learned from my friends about how to support someone with cancer.

Finish reading on Lisa’s blog by clicking here!

« Previous Page