Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

God is With You {No Matter What Monday}

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ps139.9

A few weeks ago, I woke to hear the loud rumbling of thunder. I knew what would happen next. Sure enough, a few minutes later the outline of a little girl darkened our bedroom doorway.

 

My daughter was scared. She didn’t want to be alone. Her dolls and stuffed animals couldn’t provide the comfort she needed. She sought comfort in the presence of those who knew what she needed and love her.

 

I’m trying to teach my daughter to turn to the Lord when she’s afraid—and not just so she’ll start sleeping in her own bed through a thunderstorm. I love comforting her when I can, but I know there will be times when life is hard and I’m not just down the hallway. I want her to learn that there is One who loves her even more than I do. Her Heavenly Father is always with her.

 

Psalm 139:7-10 says: Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

 

God is present everywhere we go. He is always with us, and He is always leading and holding us. He cares about every detail of our life, every moment of our struggles. Everywhere we go, He is there. Every decision we wrestle with, He will lead us. Every storm we endure, He will hold us.

 

No matter what you face this week, God is with you. 

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God Supplies the Hope We Crave {No Matter What Monday}

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rom 15.13

Last week’s verse reminded us that our Heavenly Father is the only source of unshakeable hope (Psalm 62:5).

 

But as I’ve already confessed, I struggle to place my hope solely in the Lord. I am constantly tempted to place my hope in something more tangible: my abilities, my wisdom, my people, my possessions.

 

No matter how hard I try, I can’t muster up a hope that is firmly in Christ alone. I know He is the only source of true, unfailing hope. But my heart is so fickle! I forget so easily. Like a clueless sheep, I become distracted and wander off in another direction. I need the Shepherd to gently reach out and bring me back to safety. I crave a hope that endures.

 

So I find comfort in Romans 15:13:

 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. 

 

God Himself is the answer to our struggle with finding our hope in Him. He is the God of hope. Through the Holy Spirit, He fills us with joy and peace so we can enjoy bountiful hope. The hope He gives will never run out and will never fail. The hope He gives endures forever, through all circumstances.

 

No matter what you face this week, God supplies the hope you need to have lasting joy and peace.

 

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Three Short Sentences to Say to a Friend With Cancer

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Imagine you are walking down the road one day, and you see a friend at the bottom of a large, dark, unescapable pit. How would you respond? What would you say or do?

 

You could shout down something encouraging, like “God has a good plan for your life!” and go along your merry way.  (And your friend would probably wish they could get out of the pit just so they could punch you in the face.)

 

You could throw yourself into the pit and curse God for putting both of you there. You could commiserate about how terrible the pit is and wonder what in the world God was thinking when He put this pit in your friend’s way. (Your friend wouldn’t be alone, but she wouldn’t feel encouraged.)

 

Or you could jump down into the pit with her and hold her hand and pray with her. While acknowledging how difficult and sad and scary the pit is, you could gently remind her that the truth about God is just as true at the bottom of the pit as it is at the top. As you weep with her in the pit, together you could call to mind God’s past faithfulness and promise to redeem your life from the pit and crown you with steadfast love and mercy (Psalm 103:4).

 

This is how I think about encouraging a friend who is going through cancer or any other crisis.  Your friend is in a large, dark, unescapable pit. How can you love your friend when she’s in there?

 

There is the “God is good” approach.  There is the “this sucks” approach.  And there is my favorite:  the “this sucks – God is good – I love you” approach.  This is what I try to communicate to my friends.

 

1.  This sucks.  

My parents taught me not to use that word. Sorry, Mom, but “cancer stinks” just doesn’t cut it. Your friend needs you to acknowledge the reality of her situation: her life has just been turned upside-down and forever changed by the diagnosis of a life-threatening disease. If you fail to recognize this reality, you will lose credibility as a safe friend who understands what she is going through.

 

2.  God is good. 

After you’ve cried together at the bottom of the pit for awhile, gently remind your friend that God’s promises are still true. God’s Word is the anchor your friend must cling to while the storm rages around her. Speak the truth to her.  Pray the truth with her. Write the truth on notecards for her, write it on her bathroom mirror, text her Scriptures – whatever you can do to constantly keep God’s promises in her mind. She is battling cancer, but she is also battling fear and despair. She is walking through a time of grief.  Those difficult emotions will be pushing the truth out of her mind, and you can help push it back in. Remind her of God’s goodness, faithfulness, power, love, provision and peace!

 

Some of my favorite verses to share with friends include: 2 Chronicles 20:12, 15; Psalm 27:1-2; Psalm 34:18; Psalm 42:1-2, 5; Psalm 46:1-2, 10-11; Psalm 56:8-11; Psalm 62:1-2; Psalm 73:25-26, Psalm 103:1-5, Psalm 112:7-8; Psalm 121:1-2; Isaiah 26:3-4; Isaiah 41:10; Isaiah 43:1-2; Jeremiah 31:3; Lamentations 3:22-23; Nahum 1:7; Habakkuk 3:17-19; Zephaniah 3:17; Luke 12:7; John 14:27; John 16:33; Romans 8:37-39; Romans 15:13; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Philippians 4:6-7, 13, 19; I John 4:4; Revelation 21:1-5.

 

3.  I love you. 

When I was diagnosed with cancer, one thing I found strange was that everyone started telling me they loved me. Not just family and close friends – people I never would have expected to say those words were suddenly saying “I love you.” At first, it felt a little weird. Was I supposed to say “I love you, too”? Just say thanks? Were they saying it because they thought I was about to die?

 

But once I got used to it, I found that it was very comforting and encouraging to hear how many people loved me. I felt loved. And when you are facing something difficult, it is great to feel loved! 

 

You may or may not feel comfortable saying the words “I love you” to your friend. But you can communicate your love by letting her know you’re thinking of her often and praying for her. You can tell her you care about her and are in this fight with her. You can show your love by visiting her and serving her. All of these demonstrations of love will communicate to your friend that you care about her and what she’s going through.  She will feel loved!

 

Note:  I’d like to credit an episode of The West Wing for inspiring my analogy about a friend in a pit (Season Two, “Noel”). I love that show! 

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Coping With Scanxiety (And Other Scary Things)

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In a few weeks, I will travel to Houston for my next cancer follow-up appointments. I’ll be honest and say that I HATE these appointments. I hate having to ask other people to take care of my kids for three days for something that isn’t fun. I hate having to travel down there. I hate the process of getting blood drawn, getting an IV, sitting around the waiting room, and laying in the scanner. I hate waiting until the next day to see my doctor for results. I hate walking the halls of the hospital and re-living the unpleasant memories. I hate those moments when I wait in the exam room for someone to come in and tell me whether or not I have recurrent, metastatic angiosarcoma.

 

I wish I could say that I waltz through all of this with joy, peace and complete confidence in God’s good plans for me and my family. But when they take my vital signs before I see my doctor for results, I usually end up having to tell the nurse that no, my pulse isn’t going to slow down unless she waits until after I get my scan results. Even just typing these words and thinking about being there makes my pulse quicken! The anxiety related to cancer follow-up scans is so intense that we survivors have our own word for it:  scanxiety.

 

A friend asked me recently how I deal with the anxiety related to these appointments. Since I’ve been doing this for 4 years now, I’ve given it a lot of thought! Her question got me thinking about my coping strategies for anxiety and how they might be helpful to others.

 

1.  Do the Next Thing

There are times when all I can do is just get through it. In the weeks before my scans, I know my focus needs to be on today and not on tomorrow or next week or three weeks from now. The Lord says to leave tomorrow to Him (Matthew 6:34).  So one way I cope with anxiety is to push the thoughts of the future aside and focus on what God has asked me to do right now. Put one foot in front of the other and do the next thing.

 

2.  Promises from God’s Word

I love, love, love God’s Word. God will never fail to keep His promises. There are many promises in God’s Word that have become especially precious to me in the midst of anxiety. Here are just a few:  Psalm 46:1-2, Psalm 46:10-11, Psalm 73:25-26, Psalm 112:7-8, Psalm 121:1-2, Isaiah 26:3-4, Isaiah 43:1-2, Jeremiah 31:3, Lamentations 3:21-24, Habakkuk 3:17-19, John 16:33, Romans 8:38-39, Romans 15:13.

 

3.  Prayer

I also take my fears and concerns to the Lord in prayer. I am so thankful that Christ made a way for us to come before our Father’s throne and ask for help (Hebrews 4:16). My prayers in the midst of anxiety are not fancy or articulate. They usually go something like this:  “Please, God, don’t let me have cancer. This is so hard. Please help me.”

 

4.  Asking Others to Pray

Our Heavenly Father doesn’t ask us to carry our burdens alone – He gives us a family, the body of Christ (Galatians 6:2). Often, I will share my struggle with anxiety with others and ask them to pray for me. I’m thankful for friends who are willing to share my burden and pray for me. It brings me great comfort.

 

5.  Remembering God’s Past Faithfulness

Lamentations 3:21-23: But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

When I’m having a difficult time trusting God’s future faithfulness, I call to mind God’s past faithfulness.  Here’s a little math equation for you . . .

Past faithfulness + never changing = future faithfulness guaranteed! 

God has been faithful to me in the past. I could write all day about the ways He has worked in horrible circumstances for my good and for His glory.

God never changes.  Never ever, no matter what. Therefore, I can put my hope in His future faithfulness in all circumstances.

 

Doing the next thing, reading God’s promises, praying, asking for prayer and remembering the Lord’s trustworthiness don’t make my fears vanish. But these strategies remind me where to run when I am afraid:

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? (Psalm 56:3-4)

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