Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

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The Free App Your Prayer Life Needs Today

April 14, 2016 by Marissa 1 Comment

Prayer Mate (1)
Don’t you love it when you run into a friend who shared a struggle with you, and you’ve been praying fervently for her? You hug her and immediately ask for an update. She feels loved and supported by your commitment to pray for her.

And then there’s the way it goes too often in my life: You’re chatting with a friend, when she mentions that situation you promised prayer for. Your stomach drops as you realize you completely forgot.

I’ve tried various methods over the years to prevent this sinking feeling by keeping up with the prayer needs of others. For the past couple of years, I kept a small box of notecards. I separated the notecards into groups: family, close friends, those dealing with cancer, those in ministry, and other needs. I’d rotate through the cards in each group, praying for one or two from each category when I sat down to pray.

It’s a great system, but it’s still easy to forget. And when someone mentions a need to me at lunch or as we’re dropping our kids off at school, chances are slim that I’ll remember to write it down three hours later when I get home with a van full of groceries and a million things to do.

Then a friend told me about the Prayermate app. It is basically my notecard system on my phone, which is always within reach and even makes little noises regularly to remind me that it’s still there.

Here’s the basic setup: You create lists of topics (family, friends, ministry, etc.). Within each list, you create topics (husband, kids, pastor, your friend Marissa, etc.). You can write as much or as little as you like about each topic. When you open the app to pray, it shows you several topics from the lists you’ve created to refer to as you pray. Over time, the app rotates through all the topics, using priorities that you set, so that you are regularly praying for all the needs on your list.

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When you open the app to pray, it will show you a selection of topics. You can increase or decrease the number of selections easily. You swipe left, and it will show you one selected topic at a time. I have mine set up to show me an attribute to praise God for, a sin to confess, a reason for thankfulness, a member of my immediate family, and then several prayer needs.

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Here are some features I love about the Prayermate app:

  • It’s free!
  • You can associate a topic with a contact in your phone and text your friend directly from the app. It’s great for letting someone know you’re praying for her!
  • You can password-protect the app if you want. Because sometimes I hand my phone to my kids, and my kids don’t need to read about your marital issues.
  • You can set a specific number of topics from each list to be shown at each prayer session. I use this to tell the app that I want to pray for one member of my immediate family each time I pray. I also want to pray through one topic from my Praise, Confession and Thanksgiving lists.

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  • You can set a topic to be a high priority so you’ll see it more often. My husband is a high priority on my app, along with friends in the midst of a crisis.
  • You can set a topic to be shown on a specific date. If I told you I’d pray for your job interview or surgery, Prayermate will help me remember!
  • You can subscribe to built-in lists such as Open Doors USA, which gives you a prayer request for a different country each day.
  • You can set reminders to pray at certain times each day. I set one for first thing in the morning, and in case I ignore that one, I’ve got a second reminder set at bedtime.

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What do I not like about the Prayermate app?

  • It doesn’t kick me in the butt when I ignore it.

Seriously, there is nothing I don’t like about it. I still HAVE TO PRAY, and that’s the hard part sometimes. No app can fix my lack of self-discipline. My phone can’t address the heart issues that cause me to prioritize other things above bringing my family and friends before the throne of God. But as God works in my heart to help me to prioritize prayer, the Prayermate app is a wonderful tool. Go check it out, and let me know what you think!

Find the PrayerMate app on iTunes here. Find the app in the Google Play store here.

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10 Ways to Pray for Your Friend with Cancer

March 17, 2016 by Marissa 4 Comments

10 ways to pray

(The following is an excerpt from my book, Loving Your Friend Through Cancer.)

During one of the most difficult times in my treatment for cancer, my friend Sarah had a dream that she shared with me. Here is her description of the dream, in her own words:

“We were in a very large cathedral-style church. The pews were packed with people, some I recognized from church, but many I did not recognize at all. Everyone was praying and writing. They were writing their prayers. At the front of the church the stage was some sort of hospital room and you were lying on a table with doctors and nurses bustling around you. I talked to one woman who said, ‘I don’t know Marissa personally, but I’m honored to be here to pray for her.’ I was amazed at the outpouring of prayer for you and your healing. Everyone was giving you their prayers after they wrote them down as they left the church. I peeked at some of the letters and they all began with praise to God by worshiping his Name (mighty God, everlasting Father, omniscient, all-powerful, etc., just like we’ve learned from Isaiah). SO AWESOME.”

Her dream was an encouragement to me at a time of intense struggle and sorrow, because I knew it accurately depicted what was happening before the throne of the almighty God. Thousands of people were interceding on my behalf, including many I have never met. I regularly received cards from strangers saying they were praying for me. I received dozens of small yellow postcards from the prayer room of a church in Tennessee, letting me know someone had prayed for me. I still don’t know who put my name on that prayer list in Tennessee, but I am thankful.

Nothing is as powerful as bringing your friend before the throne of her creator and redeemer. Interceding on her behalf before the Lord of the universe is one of the greatest gifts you can give her. Long after the doctors tell her she’s cancer-free, keep your friend on your list for frequent prayer. And if the Lord calls your friend home to heaven, keep fervently praying for her loved ones.

Let your friend know you are praying for her on a regular basis. But please don’t just say it flippantly—do it! Your prayers for your friend not only benefit her as you intercede for her, but they will also benefit you as the Lord works in your heart in the midst of your own grief.

Pray for healing for your friend, of course. But don’t stop there. Here are some additional ways to pray for your friend.

  1. Pray for her to feel the closeness of the Lord as he strengthens, sustains, and comforts her (Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 62:1-2, Psalm 63:5-8).
  2. Pray for wisdom for friends and family members to support and encourage her in ways she needs the most (James 1:5).
  3. Pray against the feeling of isolation—physically, emotionally, and spiritually (Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 13:5b, Psalm 42, Psalm 56:8).
  4. Pray for wisdom in making medical decisions so that the patient, family members, and doctors will not have any regrets (Psalm 112:7-8).
  5. If she’s married, pray for God to strengthen her marriage and deepen her connection with her husband, and that she will look to the Lord to meet her needs when her husband falls short (Ephesians 5:22-23).
  6. Pray that she would develop a deep and abiding trust in the Lord, not placing her hope in a particular outcome, but wholly in God’s character—his sovereignty, goodness, and faithfulness to her specifically in this situation (Isaiah 43, Jeremiah 31:3, Romans 8:38-39).
  7. Pray that she will feel free to ask for help and support when she needs it, claiming the promise that God will meet all her needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
  8. Pray for joy and peace as she grieves the loss of her health and her “before cancer” expectations for her life, and that she will not be anxious about the future (Romans 15:13, Lamentations 3:21-24, Philippians 4:6-8).
  9. Pray that she will not waste her suffering, but be transformed and sanctified through the experience of suffering for God’s glory (Romans 8:28-29, Romans 12:1-2).
  10. Pray that God will prepare her to comfort others with the comfort she is now receiving (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

You’ve just read one of the chapters of my book, Loving Your Friend Through Cancer.  Want to learn more?

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Five Years of Desperate Prayers Answered on One Tuesday Morning

August 13, 2015 by Marissa 6 Comments

On October 25, 2010, I was about to leave for my oldest child’s 1st grade parent-teacher conference when my phone rang.

It was THE call from the radiologist who had performed the biopsy the week before. I was expecting to hear that it was either breast cancer or not breast cancer, but instead he was talking about a rare cancer that I had never heard of called angiosarcoma. I had to ask him to spell it as I wrote it down and stared at the strange new word.

Stunned, I said to him, “I’m not sure if you’re telling me I have one year or five years or what.” His answer was not reassuring:  “We just don’t know yet.”

What does anyone do when they’ve just been diagnosed with a cancer they’ve never heard of?  I Googled it, of course. And one of the first things I read was that only 30% of those diagnosed with angiosarcoma live five years past the diagnosis. I slammed the laptop shut and burst into tears.

Then my confused brain struggled to do some mental math and fast-forward five years. All I could think was that in five years my 18-month-old daughter would be just 6 years old – first grade. That there was a 70% chance that my baby girl wouldn’t have me with her when she walked into her first day of first grade.

First grade become my earnest plea to the Lord. I spent many weepy nights begging Him for more years with all three of my children. But for my baby, I wanted time for her remember me. In my mind, walking her into 1st grade would mean not only that I survived angiosarcoma for 5 years. It would mean having five years of making memories with my children and being part of their childhood.

As the years passed and it looked more likely that I would survive five years, my prayers became bolder. Now I look past first grade and ask for the privilege of parenting teenagers, seeing them graduate, attending their weddings, holding their babies. I continue to plead for more time and for the faith to trust the Lord with our future. But I don’t want to let this answered prayer pass by unnoticed . . .

On Tuesday, I will hold my daughter’s hand as she walks into her first day of first grade.

Praise the Lord! To Him alone be the glory!

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Coping With Scanxiety (And Other Scary Things)

April 15, 2015 by Marissa Leave a Comment

In a few weeks, I will travel to Houston for my next cancer follow-up appointments. I’ll be honest and say that I HATE these appointments. I hate having to ask other people to take care of my kids for three days for something that isn’t fun. I hate having to travel down there. I hate the process of getting blood drawn, getting an IV, sitting around the waiting room, and laying in the scanner. I hate waiting until the next day to see my doctor for results. I hate walking the halls of the hospital and re-living the unpleasant memories. I hate those moments when I wait in the exam room for someone to come in and tell me whether or not I have recurrent, metastatic angiosarcoma.

 

I wish I could say that I waltz through all of this with joy, peace and complete confidence in God’s good plans for me and my family. But when they take my vital signs before I see my doctor for results, I usually end up having to tell the nurse that no, my pulse isn’t going to slow down unless she waits until after I get my scan results. Even just typing these words and thinking about being there makes my pulse quicken! The anxiety related to cancer follow-up scans is so intense that we survivors have our own word for it:  scanxiety.

 

A friend asked me recently how I deal with the anxiety related to these appointments. Since I’ve been doing this for 4 years now, I’ve given it a lot of thought! Her question got me thinking about my coping strategies for anxiety and how they might be helpful to others.

 

1.  Do the Next Thing

There are times when all I can do is just get through it. In the weeks before my scans, I know my focus needs to be on today and not on tomorrow or next week or three weeks from now. The Lord says to leave tomorrow to Him (Matthew 6:34).  So one way I cope with anxiety is to push the thoughts of the future aside and focus on what God has asked me to do right now. Put one foot in front of the other and do the next thing.

 

2.  Promises from God’s Word

I love, love, love God’s Word. God will never fail to keep His promises. There are many promises in God’s Word that have become especially precious to me in the midst of anxiety. Here are just a few:  Psalm 46:1-2, Psalm 46:10-11, Psalm 73:25-26, Psalm 112:7-8, Psalm 121:1-2, Isaiah 26:3-4, Isaiah 43:1-2, Jeremiah 31:3, Lamentations 3:21-24, Habakkuk 3:17-19, John 16:33, Romans 8:38-39, Romans 15:13.

 

3.  Prayer

I also take my fears and concerns to the Lord in prayer. I am so thankful that Christ made a way for us to come before our Father’s throne and ask for help (Hebrews 4:16). My prayers in the midst of anxiety are not fancy or articulate. They usually go something like this:  “Please, God, don’t let me have cancer. This is so hard. Please help me.”

 

4.  Asking Others to Pray

Our Heavenly Father doesn’t ask us to carry our burdens alone – He gives us a family, the body of Christ (Galatians 6:2). Often, I will share my struggle with anxiety with others and ask them to pray for me. I’m thankful for friends who are willing to share my burden and pray for me. It brings me great comfort.

 

5.  Remembering God’s Past Faithfulness

Lamentations 3:21-23: But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

When I’m having a difficult time trusting God’s future faithfulness, I call to mind God’s past faithfulness.  Here’s a little math equation for you . . .

Past faithfulness + never changing = future faithfulness guaranteed! 

God has been faithful to me in the past. I could write all day about the ways He has worked in horrible circumstances for my good and for His glory.

God never changes.  Never ever, no matter what. Therefore, I can put my hope in His future faithfulness in all circumstances.

 

Doing the next thing, reading God’s promises, praying, asking for prayer and remembering the Lord’s trustworthiness don’t make my fears vanish. But these strategies remind me where to run when I am afraid:

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? (Psalm 56:3-4)

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marissahenley.com

I write to remind myself of the truth of God's promises. I share my writing here in case you need to be reminded sometimes, too.

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Click the image above to learn more about Marissa's books: After Cancer and Loving Your Friend through Cancer

Recent Posts

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  • God’s Faithfulness in a Winter Season – Part 3 {Guest post for enCourage}
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