Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

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When You Struggle to Give Thanks {No Matter What Monday}

November 20, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

When you struggle to give thanks . . . Biblical encouragement, Scripture, and devotionals for women.I laid next to my sleeping husband and wondered if the next morning, Thanksgiving Day, he’d wake to find that I’d died during the night. My fear may have been exaggerated, but it wasn’t completely unreasonable. I ran a fever of over 102, and the number of white blood cells available to fight infection in my body was dangerously close to the number of hairs on my head: zero.

From the world’s perspective, I didn’t have much to be thankful for. I was stricken with a rare cancer, facing months of grueling treatment, bald, sick, fatigued, and scared.

And yet, these verses challenged my thinking:

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (I Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Some days, I didn’t feel like rejoicing. Chemo made my mind too foggy to pray. I struggled to find reasons to give thanks.

With great relief, I noticed the scripture doesn’t say, “Give thanks for all circumstances.” God didn’t ask me to give thanks for cancer—in fact, I believe He hates cancer, along with all the effects of this fallen world. He asked me to give thanks in all circumstances, and then He graciously enabled me to do so.

Maybe this year, giving thanks is a challenge for you. I’ve been there, and I’m sorry for your pain. When our life is a mess, our future uncertain, or our hearts broken, how can we give thanks in those circumstances?

God doesn’t ask us to wear a fake smile and humor Him with a Pinterest-inspired thankfulness craft. He hears our cries for rescue, restoration, and relief from our suffering. Then the Lord gently lifts our tear-stained faces and shows us He is with us. He cares for us, He is at work, and He can be trusted in our trials. Our Heavenly Father lovingly reminds us that He is the reason we give thanks in all circumstances.

No matter what you face this week, the Lord gives you a reason to give thanks in all circumstances.

 

Photo by Dan Musat on Unsplash

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God is For Us {No Matter What Monday}

September 19, 2016 by Marissa Leave a Comment

romans-8-31Do you ever feel like your life is you against the world?

You vs. The little people in your house whose behavior threatens to sabotage your sanity.

You vs. The co-worker who undermines your work at every step.

You vs. The slow driver in front of you when you’re already running late.

You vs. The fallenness of our world manifested in sin, illness, and death.

Who or what is your nemesis this week? Take a minute and fill in the blank. This week, it feels like you vs. _____________________.

Then draw your hope and courage from Romans 8:31: What then can we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

In this verse, Paul proclaims that God is for us as a response to the truth he’s just finished talking about in previous verses. He’s told us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. That God works all things for the good of those who are called according to His purpose. That God foreknew us, predestined us, called us, justified us, and glorified us by His grace. (See Romans 8:1-30.)

If all this is true (and so much more!), there’s other conclusion to draw other than this: God is for us. And if God, the sovereign and powerful Creator and Sustainer, is for us, then who can be against us?

The answer is no one. People and circumstances come against us and appear to win sometimes, but the truth is that no one can successfully come against those who are in Christ. God takes what others mean for evil and use it for good in our lives, to sanctify us, refine us, and conform us to the image of His Son. (See Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:29.) As Paul goes on to answer his own question, he shouts from the rooftops that nothing can separate us from God’s love in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39). Your children’s misbehavior, your co-worker’s schemes, that driver in front of you, this fallen world—whatever your nemesis is this week—none of these can successfully thwart the Lord’s plans for you.

No matter what you face this week, God is for you.

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Suffering Produces Hope {No Matter What Monday}

July 11, 2016 by Marissa 1 Comment

Romans 5-3-4

Last week, we looked at the foundation of our joy: the grace of God and His free gift of eternal life in Christ. Heaven seems like a great reason to rejoice, right?

But in the next verse of Romans 5, Paul throws a curveball:

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings . . .” (Romans 5:3)

Wait, what? I’m on board with rejoicing in the thought of eternal glory, but rejoicing in suffering? You better explain yourself, Paul!

“ . . . Knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” (Romans 5:3-4)

I’d love to develop endurance, character, and hope. But if I’m honest, I’d rather enjoy a comfortable, easy, suffering-free life. I lose interest my character development quickly if it requires suffering to get there.

However, God is more concerned with my character than my comfort. He is working to conform me to the likeness of His Son, not to conform my lifestyle to match my neighbor’s. Joni Eareckson Tada, a quadriplegic and cancer survivor, says it this way: “Sometimes God permits what He hates to accomplish what He loves.”

God hates suffering, illness, tragedy, and death. But in His mysterious sovereignty, He uses suffering to accomplish what He loves: teaching His beloved children endurance, growing our character, and giving us hope. As our earthly foundations crumble through suffering, we see that the only true source of hope is the Lord. Suffering is not good. But finding our hope in the Lord is very good indeed.

No matter what you face this week, your suffering will produce something wonderful: hope in the Lord.

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I Never Could Have Survived Cancer Without This One Thing

October 25, 2015 by Marissa 1 Comment

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Five years ago today, I first heard the words: “It’s cancer.” I was standing alone in my bedroom, but I wasn’t alone for long.

Within hours, a few family members and friends came over and joined me in my shock and grief. The next day – my 34th birthday – a larger group of friends gathered for a surprise birthday party full of prayers and tears. And over the coming months, a multitude of supporters came together with love, prayers and service that sustained us. The Lord used these people to demonstrate His daily care for us. I’m positive that I never could have survived cancer without this community.

In fact, I didn’t survive cancer. We survived cancer.

One of the most impactful stories of support during my illness occurred the week after my diagnosis. My husband tried to persuade me to seek a second opinion at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, but the logistical challenges overwhelmed me. I told him, “Maybe if we had a private jet, we could make that work. But I just can’t imagine how I could go to a doctor in another state when I can barely make it to a hair appointment across town.”

Within two hours of that statement, a family friend offered the use of their private plane for our initial appointments at MD Anderson.

That moment is not only an example of the generosity of our community. It was also the moment that I realized God was going to meet each and every one of our needs, just as He had promised. He used an army of friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers to provide tangible, emotional, and spiritual support as we battled for my health and for my life.

Most of you don’t have a private plane that you could loan me. But you gave what you could – a meal, a prayer, a card in the mail, a ride for my kids – and God weaved your thread of support along with thousands of others into a beautiful tapestry that provided for all our needs. I know it’s cliche, but it’s so true: we couldn’t have done it without you.

At the risk of leaving someone out, I want to describe all that was done for us during those months. As I celebrate five years of surviving angiosarcoma, I can’t think of a better way to mark this day than to acknowledge all of you who loved us through my illness.

I hope you’re comfortable, because if this were the Oscars, they’d never get me off the stage. We were well-loved, as you’re about to see. And I hope it will inspire you to love someone who is hurting in a way you might not have thought of before.

Our family and friends provided endless support. My husband, parents and in-laws made constant sacrifices to care for me and the kids. Lynette kept my kids often, drove them to school and piano lessons, and took care of countless details I was only vaguely aware of. Becky drove my kids to school and spent hours on the phone with me when I was lonely in Houston. The two of them also did my grocery shopping. Rachel organized a “Scripture shower,” asking others to send me notecards with Scripture and other encouragement. Staci, Anna, Marilyn and other friends called and texted me often to encourage me.

Allyson coordinated several months of meals and decorated our home for Christmas. Jenny cleaned our house regularly. Callie faithfully showed up every Tuesday morning to take Will to preschool. Alison made gingerbread houses with my kids at Christmas. Ginny and Alyse were our go-to babysitters, and an anonymous friend paid Ginny whenever she was at our house. (I know who you are, Anonymous Friend!)

Then I started spending two out of every three weeks in Houston. Penny left a stable job with benefits to take a leap of faith as our nanny. She loved our children well during a painful time for our family. During my first stay in Houston, Sara picked me up at the airport and helped me find housing. On my second stay, I met Greg and Blair, and I’ll never forget the day Blair asked if I would stay with them from then on. We both cried a little as I agreed – I was already starting to think of her as my “Houston Mom.” She treated me like a daughter, housed me and my friends, fed me, listened to me, and even picked me up from the airport in the middle of the night when my flight was delayed.

Jennifer and Catherine – who were each a friend of a friend – took the time to befriend a cancer patient and made me feel like I had friends in Houston. Becca left infant twins at home and drove hours to spend time with me in Houston. Friends flew in when I needed assistance during chemo – Marilyn, Amanda, Jenny, Melissa, Andrea and Tara each spent a week away from their jobs and families to care for me at my worst.

Our church family and my parents’ church family rallied around us with enormous amounts of food. Friends brought us dinner three nights a week for about seven months. Some friends even asked for a copy of my kids’ favorite recipes and prepared a family favorite. A group of Noel’s colleagues had pizza delivered to our home every Tuesday – our kids loved that! Our Providence Academy family provided freezer meals immediately following my diagnosis.

We received donations of cash and airline miles. Friends sent me treasured, thoughtful gifts. Several people made hats, including a pink knitted cap I wore every night. Nicole and Sarah fixed Sarah Kate’s hair on Sunday mornings when my husband dropped her off at Sunday school with a brush and bow in hand. Carol ironed our clothes. Friends visited me at chemo and during blood transfusions. My memory is a little fuzzy, but I remember visits from my mom, sister, mother-in-law, Crystal, Lynette, Evelyn, Laureen, Jamie, Eva and Jan. The “Henley’s Homies” participated in the Race for the Cure in my honor. The Mothers of Providence spent time on their knees praying for me.

My medical team was superb. Dr. Pope and Dr. Emily Hinton made a quick diagnosis that probably saved my life. Dr. Ravi and his staff at MD Anderson gave us hope of a medical cure. Dr. Vadhan and her attentive research nurses cared for me during the clinical trial. Dr. Rosenfeld, his fabulous nurse, Aimee, and the nursing staffs at Highlands Oncology and the infusion center all cared for me back home in Fayetteville. Dr. Hunt successfully removed the tumor after a team of compassionate radiation techs zapped the life out of it. Years later, Dr. Atwood put me back together again with reconstructive surgery.

In the years following treatment, friends continued to provide support. The Cancer Posse is an amazing source of encouragement and friendship. Mary Grace showed up just when I needed her. Carrie gives wise, compassionate counsel as I process the impact of cancer survivorship.

I wish I could list the names of everyone who brought us food, wrote a guestbook message online, commented on Facebook, emailed, texted, called or sent a card. I’ll never even know all those who prayed for me and put my name on church prayer lists.

Each and every one of you are a significant and meaningful part of my story. Together we are five-year survivors!

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Loving Your Friend through Cancer is now available! I'm excited to share this resource with you and pray it equips you to support your friend with compassionate care.

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Welcome

marissahenley.com

I write to remind myself of the truth of God's promises. I share my writing here in case you need to be reminded sometimes, too.

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marissa.henley

When you need help, where do you turn? A few years When you need help, where do you turn? A few years ago, I realized that the internet’s vast supply of answers to life’s problems can cause us to be more disconnected from others. Before Google, if I needed to know how to poach an egg or house-train a puppy or get olive oil out of my favorite sweater, I would call my mom or a friend. Now those phone calls don’t happen because I have all the answers at my fingertips.⁠
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So when my son threw up on the loveseat in our living room, I decided to call my mom to ask how to clean it rather than typing the question into an impersonal search engine. I explained my predicament and asked her what I should do. The first words out of her mouth were, “Have you Googled it?”⁠
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I’m thankful for my helpful mom, knowledgeable friends, and of course, Google. But I’m even more thankful for the One we can turn to for help in any and every problem we face.⁠
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“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea” (Psalm 46:1-2)⁠
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God is our refuge. He provides safety because He loves us and reigns over any circumstance, any power, or any person that would threaten us. As Paul says in Romans 8:38-39, nothing in this world can separate us from God’s love for us in Christ.⁠
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God is our strength. The One who created the heavens and the earth is your helper (Ps. 121:1-2). He placed in stars in the sky and the fish in the ocean depths, and He promises to give you His strength when you’re weak.⁠
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God is always present in our suffering. This is why the psalmist can say: “Therefore we will not fear . . .” We can face our troubles with confidence that the Lord is with us. He’s not just a passive, uninterested bystander. He’s not just an automated source of abundant answers as we attempt to solve our problems. He is our heavenly Father, our refuge, and our strength.⁠
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No matter what you face this week, God is an ever-present help in trouble.⁠
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#NoMatterWhatMonday
Arkansas basketball fans will never forget that ni Arkansas basketball fans will never forget that night. It’s one of those “I remember where I was when . . .” moments. I was a senior in high school, riding home from an orchestra rehearsal. I listened on the radio as the Arkansas men’s basketball team beat Duke to win the 1994 NCAA National Championship. When we said we were #1, we weren’t just saying it—we had the trophy to prove it.⁠
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Have you ever read about God’s love for you, but the words felt hollow? Maybe as empty as the boastful claims of a losing team? We sometimes wonder if He really loves us. Our circumstances don’t always appear to reflect His love—at least not the kind of love we would choose!⁠
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And yet, God’s Word tells us that God doesn’t just say He loves us. He’s proved it. There’s no greater proof He could give than the sacrifice of His only Son.⁠
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“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)⁠
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Here’s how you know God’s love for you: before you ever loved Him, He sent His Son to be the propitiation for your sin. But what is propitiation, and what does it have to do with love?⁠
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Propitiation refers to Christ’s turning away God’s wrath from us by taking it on Himself. Christ laid His life over ours like a big shield, taking what we deserve because of our sin. Being our propitiation, our wrath-shield, came at a high price. The sinless One took the punishment our sin deserved and proved God’s great love for us.⁠
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When we start to wonder, “Does God really love me?” we can look at the cross and find reassurance. God sent His Son to give us new life. The Son died and took the wrath we deserved. There’s no higher price God could pay and no greater proof we could ask for.⁠
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No matter what you face this week, God proved His love for you in Christ.⁠
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#NoMatterWhatMonday
We’re continuing our study of Ephesians in the @ We’re continuing our study of Ephesians in the @first5app and today I had the privilege of sharing about the armor of God. You can read the entire teaching at the link in my bio or in the app! ❤️

Posted @withregram • @first5app When the recipients of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians were exhorted to stand firm in a battle against the spiritual forces of darkness in Ephesians 6:12 , they may have felt overwhelmed. Maybe you feel overwhelmed, too, as you look at the rampant wickedness and unending problems in our world. Maybe you’re burdened by the weight of personal temptation or past failures.  But in reading Ephesians 6, we find that God knows exactly what we will face each day and He has already supplied everything our battle requires.

God’s armor covers us from head to toe — from our helmet to our shoes. Nothing is lacking from the protection and resources God provides.

God doesn’t ask us to assemble our own suit of armor and hope it holds up against the “flaming darts of the evil one” (Ephesians 6:16). Our armor is God’s armor, and our strength is His strength. (Ephesians 6:10; Ephesians 6:13)

Our daily battles aren’t easy, but in Christ, victory over the enemy is guaranteed. (Romans 8:31; Romans 8:37)

-@marissalhenley  #First5

How can you see God providing what you need through the armor He has given?
This week, the world around us will be obsessed wi This week, the world around us will be obsessed with love. We will enjoy showing our love for others with pieces of candy taped to little paper cards, candle-lit dinners, and all the heart-shaped gifts money can buy. And while there’s nothing wrong with celebrating love and appreciating those around us, we’ll all wake up next Monday knowing that human love can’t ultimately meet our need to be fully known and fully loved. The love of family and friends is a wonderful gift from the Lord, but it’s not meant to fully satisfy us.⁠
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If you’re looking for love that never changes, never fails, and never ends, that love can only be found in the Lord.⁠
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“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)⁠
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“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved . . .” (Ephesians 2:4-5)⁠
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“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” (1 John 3:1a)⁠
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“For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.” (Psalm 100:5)⁠
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These verses—and many others in Scripture—reveal key insights about God’s love. First of all, God loved us while we were still sinners. He loved us when we were still dead in our sin (Ephesians 2:1-3). He will always be faithful in His love for us, and He proved that by sending His Son to die for us so we could have new life in Him.⁠
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Second, God’s love secures our place as His children. Our adoption is rooted in God’s love for us, not our being deserving of it. Our position before God isn’t like a job we can lose if we don’t perform. It’s the status of a child who’s been permanently adopted by a loving Father.⁠
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Third, God’s love never ends. The steadfast love of the Lord endures forever.  Nothing in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39). We have complete security in God’s eternal love for His children.⁠
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No matter what you face this week, God’s faithful, fatherly love never fails.⁠
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#NoMatterWhatMonday
“It’s not fair!” This whiny cry is a nemesis “It’s not fair!” This whiny cry is a nemesis of parents everywhere, but it demonstrates our innate sense of justice. As those made in the image of the righteous God, we recognize what’s wrong and want it to be made right. As we finish our study of Psalm 63, we see that David felt the same way.⁠
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Can I be honest? I wanted to stop our study of Psalm 63 at verse 8. This is a tough passage, and I’m nervous that you might read a political agenda into these words. (Please don’t, and please see an important note I've added in the comments.) However, God’s justice is an important aspect of His character, and when we rightly understand it, we grow in our confidence in Him.⁠
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“But those who seek to destroy my life shall go down into the depths of the earth; they shall be given over to the power of the sword; they shall be a portion for jackals. But the king shall rejoice in God; all who swear by him shall exult, for the mouths of liars will be stopped.” (Psalm 63:9-11)⁠
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The introductory words of this psalm tell us it was written by David when he was in the wilderness of Judah. He probably wrote it while running for his life from either Saul or Absalom (see 1 Sam. 23 and 2 Sam. 15). Either way, David asked God to defend him against the wicked actions of his enemies, and David trusted God to do so.⁠
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Psalm 63 reminds us that when we are treated unfairly, we can find hope in the reign of our King, Jesus Christ. It may seem like the wicked prosper now, but God will have the final say. Jesus triumphed over all His enemies on the cross and will one day judge the world with justice and righteousness. We look forward to the day when “a king will reign in righteousness, and princes will rule in justice” (Isaiah 32:1).⁠
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On that day, “the mouths of liars will be stopped” and “every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Ps. 63:11, Phil. 2:11). When we look at the world and want to cry, “It’s not fair!”, we can trust the Lord to act with perfect justice and righteousness, now and forever.⁠
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No matter what you face this week, rejoice in Jesus Christ, the King of righteousness.
I recently joined my friend @niki.hardy on her Che I recently joined my friend @niki.hardy on her Chemo Chair Prayers podcast to talk about living with the unknowns of cancer. If you or someone you love is walking through this difficult situation, I'd love for you to listen. There's a link in my bio, or you can find Chemo Chair Prayers wherever you listen to podcasts.
It was familiar routine for many years. We both cl It was familiar routine for many years. We both climbed out of the white minivan, and I locked the doors. As we stepped out into the parking lot, she slipped her soft hand into mine. She knew that she was safest when she was holding her mom’s hand as we walked through the big, bad parking lot. Even as a tween, she still reaches for my hand out of habit, and it makes me smile.⁠
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Who was holding whom as my young daughter and I walked hand-in-hand? She was the one who reached out and grabbed my hand, but I was the one who wouldn’t let go. I was the one who would scoop her up and rush her to safety if danger threatened. If she forgot to reach out and grab my hand one day, I’d reach for hers and grasp it tight.⁠
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As we continue making our way through Psalm 63, we see that David holds on to the Lord even as he is held by the Lord.⁠
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“My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” (Psalm 63:8) ⁠
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As we’ve studied Psalm 63 this month, we’ve seen that God was refreshing water for David’s dry soul. David knew God’s love was better than life itself. He spent nights focusing on the Lord’s faithfulness rather than his worries and regrets. Today we read that as David’s soul clung to the Lord, the Lord’s right hand held him tight.⁠
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Are you struggling to cling to the Lord? Maybe it feels like your fingers keep slipping in the midst of fear and doubt. You’re trying to hold on, but your muscles are straining and threatening to quit.⁠
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If your grip on God feels weak or faltering today, take comfort in these promises of God: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).⁠
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Keep clinging, friend. And when you’re weary or overwhelmed, remember that the Lord’s steady hand upholds you. He gives you the strength and courage to persevere in the faith. He’s got a strong grip on you, and He won’t ever let go.⁠
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No matter what you face this week, keep clinging to the Lord and trust Him to hold you.⁠
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#NoMatterWhatMonday
The house is still quiet in the mornings as I open The house is still quiet in the mornings as I open my Bible and place my coffee mug on the teal coaster that a friend gave me for Christmas. It says, “It’s as if no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.”⁠
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It’s funny because it’s true. As the mom of two teens and a tween, I had a lot of opportunities to overthink even before our world was rocked by a pandemic and political turmoil. Now my nightly overthinking has shifted into overdrive.⁠
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As we continue our study of Psalm 63, we see that David had a better approach to his bedtime routine.⁠
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“My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.” (Psalm 63:5-7)⁠
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Isn’t it fascinating that David specifically mentioned thinking about God in the watches of the night? He didn’t just praise God during the day - he turned his thoughts to the Lord as he laid down to sleep.⁠
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I think God understands that when we’re alone in the dark with our thoughts, we will be tempted to stew over the past or worry about the future. Through David’s words, God shows us another way. Instead of focusing on our troubles and fears, we can meditate on what God has done and remember that we can trust Him.⁠
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These verses also tell us that David had a satisfied soul and joy-filled lips. These two things are connected—when we find our satisfaction in the Lord, it leads us to praise. We are grateful rather than grumbling. We look at our gracious God and find reasons to be joyful in all circumstances.⁠
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David behaved this way because of what he believed about God. He was satisfied, joyful, and peaceful because he knew the Lord was his refuge and his help. Rather than running out on his own to fix All. The. Things, David sang for joy in the shadow of God’s wings. And so can we.⁠
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No matter what you face this week, you can shift from anxious overthinking into peaceful praise.⁠
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#NoMatterWhatMonday
Just sharing a teaching on another favorite passag Just sharing a teaching on another favorite passage - isn't Ephesians sooo good?! I was dead in my sin, but God didn't leave me there--this is the best news ever.

You can read the entire teaching at the link in my bio or in the @first5app. ❤️

Posted @withregram • @first5app “Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?” 

I cringe when I hear this question. If I have to choose, I’d rather get the bad news over with first. In Ephesians 2:1-7, Paul shares devastating news followed by the best news imaginable. He starts with the bad news that we were all hopelessly and helplessly dead in our sin. 
 
Dead people can’t do anything to change their situation. They can’t make themselves better or even ask for help. Spiritually dead people have only one hope: a rescuer with the power to raise the dead and give them new life. Now it’s time for the good news. In Ephesians 2:4, we find these two little words that change everything: “But God.” 

You were dead in your sin, but God made you alive together with Christ. You were a child of God’s wrath, but God showed His mercy, love and kindness to you as one of His own. God has saved us so that He can spend eternity putting the immeasurable riches of His kindness and grace on display for us. Dear friends, there is no better news than that. 

-@marissa.henley #First5
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