Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

What If

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A year ago today, I was anxiously waiting for a biopsy that had been scheduled a few days later.  It is emotional for me to look back at those days right before my cancer diagnosis on October 25, 2010.  There is a temptation to dwell on it, as if I can somehow will it to turn out differently, to re-write history and get a phone call on that day that there was no cancer.  By grace alone, I am taking those thoughts captive and refusing to stay stuck on the “what-ifs.”

But it is an interesting question:  What would life look like today if it had been an infection like they originally thought?  What if that phone call on October 25 had gone the other way?  What if I had continued the antibiotic and gone on with my life?

What if I didn’t know just how much I truly have to be thankful for?

What if I didn’t understand the power of prayer and Scripture and the Holy Spirit to comfort you in the most dire of circumstances?

What if I didn’t realize how incredible my church family and friends are?

What if I was still driven by my to-do list and squeezing in quality time with my kids in between, instead of the other way around?

What if I didn’t know how many people love me and care about me?

What if I didn’t know to take time to make green slime and go for ice cream and say yes when they ask for just one more story?

What if I had never met our nanny or my Houston family or the oncology clinic staff or my cancer posse?

What if I was still oblivious to the needs of the sick and hurting in my community?

What if I weren’t committed to talking with my kids every day about God’s character and how we can trust Him?

I didn’t get to choose the outcome last October.  And that is definitely for the best, because I know I would have picked the easy road and missed out on all the blessings God had in store with the trial.  He planned each and every day for my good and His glory, and I am thankful.  I was reminded this week of a Charles Spurgeon quote that I heard somewhere back in the chemo fog, and it resonates with my experience:

“There is no greater mercy that I know of on earth than good health except it be sickness; and that has often been a greater mercy to me than health.  It is a good thing to be without a trouble; but it is a better thing to have a trouble, and know how to get grace enough to bear it.” 

Thank you, Lord, for each and every mercy you give, and the grace to bear those that are difficult.

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Prayer Binder: Confession

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For an introduction to my prayer binder, click here.  For the post on the Adoration section, click here.

For those of you who just came to this post hoping for a photo of the inside of the confession section, forget it!

Ah, good old confession.  It’s just about enough to make us want to throw that whole ACTS thing out the window, right?  But one thing I’ve been learning lately is that the Christian life is a life of ongoing repentance.  So this might be one of the most important aspects of prayer.  I think it’s important to remember that we not only need to actively confess the sin that we’re aware of, but also take time to be quiet, asking the Holy Spirit to prick our hearts and show us the sin we have been ignoring.

The confession section of my prayer binder is simple.  It is a page where I have listed patterns of sin that I struggle with the most often, such as materialism, pride, selfishness, lack of self-control, envy, discontentment, and anxiety.  I pray through the list, focusing on things I am currently struggling with the most, and then asking God to show me if there’s anything new I need to jot down.

At the top and bottom of my confession page, I have two very important reminders.  They are quotes from Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions (page 74).  At the top of the page, I have written:

“Thy blood is the blood of incarnate God, its worth infinite, its value beyond all thought.  Infinite must be the evil and guilt that demands such a price . . . “

At the bottom of the page, I have written:

” . . . yet thy compassions yearn over me, thy heart hastens to my rescue, thy love endured my curse, thy mercy bore my deserved stripes.”

I love these daily reminders of two very important truths.  First, that my sin is serious.  Christ’s blood is infinite in value.  And that was the price demanded by my worry, my pride, my selfishness, my discontentment.  These are not small issues.

Second, that Christ paid the price for my sin so that I can stand righteous before a Holy God.  God Himself worked in history to secure my rescue.  In light of the ways I rebel against His Word every day, this is truly amazing grace.

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Prayer Binder: Adoration

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For the introduction to my prayer binder, click here.

Ever since I learned the Adoration-Confession-Thanksgiving-Supplication prayer tool many, many years ago, I’ve known it was a good idea to praise God for who He is before presenting my laundry list of needs.  But to be honest, this was the most awkward aspect of prayer for me for a long time.  I’d usually throw out my usual, “Lord, you are holy, you are good, you are loving,” and then move on.

Last summer, I studied God’s character and attributes with a wonderful group of ladies–I highly recommend the study, Behold Your God.  It was very helpful to study God’s omniscience, omnipotence, faithfulness, sovereignty, immutability, and more . . . basically, a study of what God has told us about Himself and what it means for our lives.  And one fabulous by-product of this study is that I was armed with Scripture about the Lord that I can use to praise Him for His character.

In the Adoration section of my prayer binder, I write attributes of God with Scripture listed underneath.

I’m constantly adding to this list, and the added Scripture breathes new life into this part of my prayer life.  As I read God’s Word, I’m watching for new verses to add to my Adoration section.  If you’re interested in starting an Adoration section in your prayer journal, here are some verses to get you started:

God’s love:  Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 106:1

God’s wisdom:  Psalm 32:8, Isaiah 55:8-9

God’s power and strength:  Job 9:4-9, Psalm 46:1-3

What are your favorite Scripture that speak of the character of God and lead to worship of Him?

O magnify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together!  Psalm 34:3

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Prayer: Some Ideas

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About six months ago (wow, how time flies), I sent out an email to many of my friends digging into the personal depths of their prayer lives.  To the brave ones who wrote me back, thank you so much.  I promise to mention you by name only once or twice in this post.  😉

I was not surprised to find that I am not the only one who struggles with inconsistency in my prayer life.  We are all a little too tired, a little too busy, a little too undisciplined, a little too interested in tv and the internet and all the distractions of life.  Our mind wanders; the dryer buzzes; we get sleepy; the kids wake up.  We like to talk to people who audibly talk back.  It is difficult to carve out time to present our prayers and petitions to the Lord, and it seems nearly impossible to take the additional time to be still and listen to what He has to say.

I was also not surprised to find that my friends have some really good ideas when it comes to prayer . . .

On planning for prayer:

  • Have a shared prayer time with your husband.
  • Have a scheduled time to pray with a group of women (e.g., Moms In Touch at school).
  • Keep long-term needs and short-term needs in separate sections of a notebook and record answers to prayer.
  • Have a specific prayer task for each day of the week:  Monday–husband, Tuesday–kids, Wednesday–friends, Thursday–missionaries, etc.
  • Maximize family prayer time before meals, at bedtime, etc.  Pray with the kids while driving in the car.
  • Twice a year, take a significant chunk of time away to pray through needs of marriage, kids, family, and friends.  Journal and write down goals and prayer requests for the next 6 months to review next time and see how God is working.

On praying for our families:

  • Keep notebooks for each member of family, including self, write prayers for that person, or if there are not needs, how you can minister to them.
  • Pray over each person at night after they are asleep.
  • Read through the Bible in a year and make notes in that Bible for one specific family member.  Write prayers in it for him/her to have later.
  • Praying for your husband from his head to his feet–protection from temptation with his eyes, those he comes into contact with with a handshake at work, etc.

On praying for others:

  • Pray for someone immediately when you learn of the request so you don’t forget.
  • View intercession as something we can do as a ministry even when we have young kids at home and may not.

Helpful books/resources:

I love my friends and all their great ideas!  But if you’re anything like me, I suggest praying for discipline first and foremost.  I can have all the great tips and tools in the world, but I still have to make the decision to stop doing something else and go to the Lord in prayer.

What are some ideas or helps that have improved your prayer life?

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