Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

What does your prayer life say about God?

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What would someone believe about God if all they knew about Him was what they learned from your prayer life?  

This question posed by our pastor today has got me thinking.  If someone could witness your prayer life, would they think . . .

 

God must require them to say these words every day so they can check that off their list.

Her God must not be too powerful, if this is all she’s asking for.

Is this God a short-order cook?  She calls Him “Father” but then talks to Him like she’s placing a fast-food order.

It doesn’t seem like God has done anything for her before, why does she think He will do something now?

This God must either not exist or not be too important if this is all the praying she does.

 

OR . . .

 

This God is deserving of worship and adoration for all His wonderful attributes and promises.  He is good, and He has done marvelous things.

This God has saved her and given her all good gifts.

This God has done so much for her that she can’t stop thanking Him.

This God must be holy–she needs to confess her sin before Him.

I can’t believe she has the nerve to ask for THAT!  This must be one powerful God.  She must think He is actually in control and able to do that.

She loves so many people enough to pray for them regularly, and she believes God can and will help them.

This God truly is her Father.  I can tell by the way she is pouring out her heart to Him.

Did she just thank Him in the midst of her trial?  This God gives trials and uses them for good?  She’s still praising Him–He must truly be a good and faithful God.

 

I know what I believe about God:  that He is my holy, almighty Father, who gave His Son for salvation and has given me so many undeserved gifts that there is not time in the day to thank Him for all of them.  He is all-powerful, faithful and good, and He cares deeply for me.  All of my days and all of my loved ones are in His hands.  So why doesn’t my prayer life reflect that?

 

Our pastor said this morning that prayer is hard.  Not a very pastor-like thing to say, if you ask me.  But I’m glad he said it, because it is true.  Prayer is a privilege, but it is also a discipline.  It takes practice and time and effort.

 

I want the Lord to be glorified by the way I talk to Him, even when no one else is listening or watching, simply because of who He is and what He has done.  He is worthy of our praise, confession, thanksgiving and petitions.  As I can remember my Grandma Coomber singing:  what a friend we have in Jesus, and what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

 

“What a Friend We Have in Jesus”

Words by Joseph M. Scriven

 

What a friend we have in Jesus, 

all our sins and griefs to bear! 

What a privilege to carry 

everything to God in prayer! 

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear, 

all because we do not carry 

everything to God in prayer. 

 

Have we trials and temptations? 

Is there trouble anywhere? 

We should never be discouraged; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Can we find a friend so faithful 

who will all our sorrows share? 

Jesus knows our every weakness; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

 

Are we weak and heavy laden, 

cumbered with a load of care? 

Precious Savior, still our refuge; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? 

Take it to the Lord in prayer! 

In his arms he’ll take and shield thee; 

thou wilt find a solace there.

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Would you die for a criminal?

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Don’t you love those teaching moments with your kids when you realize they truly get it?  Like when Christopher was 3, and he had heard all about Jesus dying on the cross, but I was there for the moment that he realized that Jesus had risen from the dead . . . “You mean He’s ALIVE?!?  HOOORRRAAAYYY!!!”  His genuine exuberance brought tears to my eyes.

This morning, I was reading Romans 5 to the kids when we came across these verses:

Romans 5:6-8:  For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  For one will scarcely die for a righteous person–though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die–but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  

I asked Christopher–and told him not to answer out loud–what he would do if a bad guy came into our house with a gun and told him that he was going to either kill him or his brother.  Who would he choose?  It would be a tough choice, wouldn’t it?  I told him that I would die for them, because they are my children, and I love them that much.  But there aren’t a lot of people I would die for.

Then I asked another question: “What if a bad guy broke into our house and stole all our stuff?  He would be our enemy, right?  And then what if another bad guy brought that bad guy in and gave you a choice.  The second bad guy would either kill you or the guy who stole all your stuff.  What do you choose?”

Christopher got excited.  He knew the answer to this one.  “The bad guy!”  he said enthusiastically, “He would definitely have to kill the bad guy, not me!”

The great thing about kids is that they rarely see where the illustration is headed until you lower the boom.

“Christopher, you are the bad guy.  That’s what these verses are saying.  We are sinners, and we were God’s enemies.  But Jesus said to the Father, ‘Kill me, not them.’  He died for us even though we were the bad guys.”

He was speechless, and I was almost in tears.  Hit with my own reminder of the unfathomable nature of the Gospel.  The crazy, true story in which the perfect, blameless Son of God dies for a bunch of wretched sinners like you and me.  The most amazing love story of all.

 

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Therefore

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Romans 12:1-2:  Therefore, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Our pastor has been preaching through Romans.  It has been so good.  I think if I could only have one book out of the Bible, I’d pick Romans.  I could read every day about what a wretched sinner I am (Romans 1 and 3), how God chose to save me through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23-25, 5:8, 10:9), that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39).

Last Sunday, we arrived at Romans 12.  The big “Therefore . . . ”  News as fabulous and life-changing as the Gospel requires a response.  And Romans 12 tells us that our response of gratitude for what God has done for us is to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice and be transformed by the renewing of our mind.

I’ve been thinking about these verses for a few days now and pondering how my mind needs some renewal.  When I first found out that I was cancer-free and finished with treatment, I was overflowing with joy.  Anyone who asked how I was doing would get an earful about all the wonderful things God had done.

But as time goes on, discontentment and anxiety start to creep in.  I stop being thrilled to have hair and start to envy the long, beautiful hair of others.  I look around me and feel jealous of those who don’t have to go to Houston every three months for a CT scan, who don’t have to think about cancer returning, and who blissfully assume they will hold their grandchildren someday.  I start to hold on tightly to my own plans instead of being thankful for today and trusting tomorrow to the Lord because He knows best.

I hate sin.  It is so ugly.  Especially mine.

When I read, “offer your bodies as living sacrifices,” it sounds like I need to give myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to the One who created me and His perfect will.  I need to say, “God, because I have received your mercy and grace in Christ, I know You are good and Your ways are perfect.  You can let this body be devoured by cancer or live 50 more years–whatever brings more glory to Your name.”  Do I have the courage to say that?  Some days I don’t, some days I do–only by the power of the Holy Spirit.

To offer my body as a living sacrifice, I need my mind to be renewed.  I’ve decided that when those envious or anxious thoughts creep in, I will focus my mind on something God has done to show His faithfulness to me, especially during my 9-month-long cancer battle.  I will choose not to be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed, so I can proclaim that God’s will is indeed good, pleasing and perfect.

To God be the glory.

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Scans

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There are many difficult aspects of life in Cancer World, even when you live there as someone who is blessed to be currently cancer-free.  For me, the quarterly check-ups are one of the most difficult parts.  When you’ve had cancer, especially one as aggressive as angiosarcoma, you know your cancer-free status can be snatched away at any time.  A lump, a symptom . . . the possibility is always lurking, but never as ominously as when you go for those scans.  I will make trips to Houston every three months for a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis to check for a recurrence.  My scans are coming up soon.  And I’ll be honest, it is a struggle to keep the anxiety from taking over.

It feels like I’m standing on a beach.  The sand beneath my feet is my cancer-free life–being a normal mom who gets to drive her kids to school, go to Wal-mart, show up for stuff even when someone with a cold might be there, and take care of her family.  I can hear the waves of recurrence threatening to wipe my cancer-free life away, but it’s dark.  I have no idea whether I’m inches from those waves or whether they are way off in the distance.  I have no idea when the tide will roll in.  Will it come with this scan?  Or the next?  Or not for 20 years?  The darkness is what makes it so difficult.  If I could just see those waves, maybe I could get myself ready . . .

But then I realize that I’m not standing only on sand.  Beneath that sand is the Rock, and it cannot be washed away even by the most ferocious waves.  That Rock is Jesus Christ.  Hebrews 2:8 reminds us that everything is under His control.  And I John 3:16 reminds us that He loves me so much that He died for me.  That is one powerful, comforting combination.

This is the remedy for the anxiety that threatens to overwhelm me at times . . . God’s character and His promises to me.  He doesn’t promise that the waves won’t come.  But He promises to meet every one of my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

I’m so thankful for that Rock.

If you would like to pray for me, please pray that the perfect peace of God would guard my heart and my mind and that my mind would be steadfast on Christ.  You can pray for comfort for me as I go through the CT scan and await the results, for wisdom for my doctors, and that my life would bring glory to Jesus Christ, my Rock and my Redeemer.

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