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Adventures in Couponing

July 11, 2009 by Marissa 2 Comments

Several months ago, my husband started expressing his desire for us to start spending less and saving more. (This may or may not have coincided with a certain Democrat being elected president and vowing to “reform” health care. But that is another story for another blog.) He has repeated this preposterous suggestion many, many times. And every time, my flesh (sinful nature) has done a good job of ignoring it. After all, his job is pretty secure, he’s not making less money than he did a year ago–why should we cut back? Shouldn’t I be doing my part to stimulate the economy and support my local retailers? (I really want Gymboree to survive this economic turmoil.) It seemed crazy for my husband to ask me to make sacrifices, and not even so I could use the saved money for something fabulous, like an iPhone or a cleaning lady. Just for the sake of spending less and saving more. He must be nuts, right?

After some conversations with my wonderful friends (if you don’t have godly, truth-speaking friends in your life, may I suggest you get some immediately?), I realized that this was a huge area of disobedience in my life. My husband is asking me to do something. He is not asking me to sin. In fact, the thing he is asking me to do is perfectly reasonable, probably a good idea, and (gulp) would be glorifying God by thinking less about my own selfish desires. I knew it was time for the S-word: submission. I couldn’t bring myself to submit right away, so I started by praying that God would convict me and enable to submit and obey. And then I turned to my local expert on honoring your husband by spending less money: my friend Lynette.

I’ve been giving Lynette my coupons out of the Sunday paper for months. I had no idea what she was doing with them, but I knew I needed to find out. I broke the sad news to her that she would no longer be getting my coupons and asked her to share her secrets with me. Thankfully, she is very supportive of my saving money AND my submitting to my husband! She taught me a few key strategies:

1. Stop being married to specific brands. I was shocked when I compared the shampoo I usually buy with some much cheaper alternatives. I’ve been having shampoo tunnel vision for months, and my hair doesn’t even look that great.

2. Track the cost of items that you buy on a regular basis. When they go on sale, stock up.

3. Keep your coupons from the Sunday paper, and then use blogs such as Common Sense With Money, Money Saving Mom and Passion for Savings to find out how to maximize your savings by combining coupons with low sale prices.

4. Don’t be afraid to shop at Aldi. (I haven’t conquered this one yet. Maybe when the kids go back to school in the fall, and I don’t have to take three kids with me everywhere I go.)

This concept of combining sales and coupons is amazing! It is definitely worth spending some time on. In my first week, check out what I got . . . serious bargain-hunting bloggers always take a photo:

Pringles for 49 cents, family-size boxes of Special K for $2.50 each, Edy’s ice cream for $1.33 each, and deodorant for 38 cents! I also got a pint of Starbucks ice cream for 50 cents, but I gave that to my sister-in-law, because seriously, how much ice cream does a girl need when she has baby weight to lose?!?

Back when I was just dipping my toe into the pool of obedience but not ready to jump in, I read on a stay-at-home mom’s blog that she thinks that her job is to save her family as much money as possible. I thought, “Poor thing. My job is much more enjoyable–spending our family’s money and having fun doing it. Oh, wait . . . hmm, maybe that isn’t supposed to be my job . . . oh bummer, this woman is right!” Now I have a new view on my job description, though sometimes I miss my old job. I can’t wait to see what my new strategies will accomplish when it comes to lowering our spending, and (more importantly) pleasing my husband and letting him know that what’s important to him is important to me. I want to honor my husband with my spending, following the example given to us as women in Proverbs 31:

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10-11

Unthankfulness

July 1, 2009 by Marissa 5 Comments

Do you know how many times my children have opened their dresser drawers and exclaimed, “Clean clothes! Washed, dried, folded and put in my drawer! Way to go, Mom! Thank you!”

Zero. Usually, all I hear is, “When are you going to wash my Transformer pj’s?” Sound familiar?

When I read Jerry Bridge’s chapter on Unthankfulness (see previous post on his book Respectable Sins), I realized that I must look the same way to God as my kids do to me. God has done so much for me and continues to sustain me every day, and I seldom stop to thank Him. God has rescued me from guilt, sin and death by delivering me from the domain of darkness and transferring me to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom I have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:13-14). He has blessed me in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3). In addition to spiritual blessings, He has given me every ability or skill I have, a loving husband, three healthy children, friends, a home, possessions, food . . . everything I have comes from Him.

How often do I thank God for my mini-van? For the ability to go to the store when we run low on food? For the privelege of gathering with other Christians openly every Sunday to hear the Word of God preached? It is not often that I exhibit a sincere attitude of thankfulness.

I read an article on happiness recently in Good Housekeeping magazine. It said that when we buy something we want, we have a high level of satisfaction, but only for a very short time. We quickly become used to having that item around and take it for granted, and our sights turn to the next item we want. This is so true in my life. I remember last year, when I desperately wanted to replace the ceiling fan over our dining room table with a beautiful chandelier. Finally, I got my chandelier, and I loved it. For about a week, I looked at it all the time and felt happy and thankful. Now, how often do you think I still notice my beautiful chandelier? Pretty much never. Rather than being thankful for what I have, I turn my attention to that sofa I’d like to replace.

Jerry Bridges reminded me in this chapter that my unthankfulness is a sin. Sound harsh? It’s true. In Ephesians 5:20, we see the command to give “thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Bridges writes, “Failure to give Him the thanks due to Him is sin. It might seem like a benign sin to us because it doesn’t harm anyone else. But it is an affront and insult to the One who created us and sustains us every second of our lives.”

Bridges also writes about giving thanks in ALL circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18). This is a personal challenge for me right now, as someone I love very much is facing a battle with cancer. I found comfort in Bridges’ discussion of this topic, encouraging us that giving thanks in difficult circumstances can only be done by faith in the promises of God. We can only obey I Thessalonians 5:18 because we know Romans 8:28 is true: For we know for those who love God all things work together for good. In the midst of heartache, we can thank God for the good we know He can accomplish through any circumstance.

Being Mindful of God

June 19, 2009 by Marissa 6 Comments

Our Sunday school class is studying Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. I highly recommend it. His basic premise is that, as Christians, we condemn “big sins” such as adultery or abortion, but we tolerate certain “respectable sins” in our own lives, such as worry, gossip, discontentment, pride, worldliness, etc.

The first so-called respectable sin Bridges discusses is ungodliness, which he defines as “living one’s every day life with little or no thought of God, or of God’s will, or of God’s glory, or of one’s dependence on God” (p. 54). He writes, “Let us then seek to be as mindful of [God] as He is of us.” This was very convicting for me, as I fear all of these chapters will be. Psalm 139 tells us that God is extremely mindful of us. He knows our every action, our every thought. He created every cell in our bodies. It makes sense that the creature should be just as mindful of the Creator as the Creator is of her. But looking at my life, I see that I fall short in so many ways.

It is easy to be mindful of God on Sunday or even during the 15 minutes that I may or may not carve out of my day in order to not look stupid this Thursday at Bible study. It isn’t hard to be mindful of God when life’s crises bring you to your knees and you know you have no answer but Him. But it is oh so difficult to be mindful of God when my child has disobeyed me for the 300th time and it isn’t even 9:30 a.m. Or when my three-year-old still won’t use the potty. Or when the baby is screaming, the boys are fighting, and dinner still needs to be made. And then hubby calls and says he will be late . . . almost never does mindfulness of God enter into my reaction at that moment! And what a difference it would make if I were living in those moments with more awareness of God’s presence, His glory, and my dependence on Him.

A Mother of Three

May 28, 2009 by Marissa 4 Comments

Wow, it has been a really long time since I’ve posted to this blog! If anyone out there is still reading, thanks for sticking with me. For any of you who don’t know me personally, I’m happy to announce that my daughter, Sarah Kate, was born on April 27. She is healthy, a great sleeper, and very snuggly and sweet. She has already captured the hearts of her two older brothers. (Although her arrival may or may not have anything to do with Will deciding he is no longer going to use the potty.)

I have to admit, I was very anxious about Sarah Kate’s first few weeks. I struggled a lot after my last baby (Will) was born–I was a mess emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. I was hopeful that things would be different this time around, mostly because when my boys were born, I was not consistently in God’s Word. Thankfully, by God’s grace, I have a more sure foundation this time around.

Now, one month into this grand adventure of life with three kids, I can see God’s faithfulness to our family in so many ways. Sarah Kate’s first week was rough from a sleeping perspective . . . she was happy to sleep during the day but not at all interested in sleeping at night. My husband had taken that first week off, so he was a huge help to me in the middle of the night. I was terrified to think what would happen when he went back to work and couldn’t be up all night, every night with Sarah Kate and me. But the night before he went back to work, Sarah Kate figured out that nighttime is for sleeping. And our nights have been very manageable ever since! God knows what we can handle, and He won’t give us a smidge more than that.

Not to keep harping on sleep (but we all know it is one of the only things a mother of a newborn can think about), but since that first week, Sarah Kate has been a great sleeper. And our few difficult nights have usually been followed by a day when someone else is helping me with the boys and I am able to rest. I have seen God’s hand providing for my need for sleep over and over again.

I’ve found that the most difficult thing for me right now is juggling the needs of the three kids during the day. My temper is short and patience is lacking. There have been some really ugly days. I alternate between moments of overwhelming gratitude and seeing God’s faithfulness, and moments (okay, sometimes hours) of discontentment and longing for life to feel normal. I’ve been praying for wisdom, self-control and patience this week, and God has been providing. I know this will continue to be a struggle for me. I am constantly being called to die to myself and my selfish desires and lay down my life for my kids. It hurts sometimes, but God provides the strength to do it, and He is glorified by our obedience!

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