Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

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Navigating Christmas When a Family Member Faces Cancer {Guest post for enCourage}

December 5, 2018 by Marissa Leave a Comment

 

I met my sister-in-law for the first time while receiving a blood transfusion on Christmas Eve. My brother brought her home for Christmas while she was still his girlfriend and I was two months into a battle with a rare cancer called angiosarcoma.

They came to the hospital as soon as they arrived in town, and I’ll admit—it was a little awkward. I wanted to show interest in this woman who had stolen my baby brother’s heart. I craved connection with her and with my brother, too.

But as the bag of blood dripped into the central line in my chest, I realized I had no emotional energy to give to my visitors. I was fatigued by the chemo, discouraged by bad news I had received a few days before, and wondering if this would be my last Christmas with my husband and young children. The year before, my husband’s sister had battled breast cancer during the holidays. So I knew from experience that when cancer meets Christmas, it’s difficult for everyone.

If you’re a family member of someone battling cancer this year, you’ve probably already been affected by your loved one’s diagnosis and treatment. You may wonder or even worry about how to handle the impacts of this tough situation during the holidays. I’ve been the one who is sick, and I’ve also been the family member wondering how to respond. I’d love to walk alongside you with a few suggestions.

You can read the rest of this post over on the enCourage blog of the PCA Women’s Ministry. 

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When You Struggle to Give Thanks {No Matter What Monday}

November 20, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

When you struggle to give thanks . . . Biblical encouragement, Scripture, and devotionals for women.I laid next to my sleeping husband and wondered if the next morning, Thanksgiving Day, he’d wake to find that I’d died during the night. My fear may have been exaggerated, but it wasn’t completely unreasonable. I ran a fever of over 102, and the number of white blood cells available to fight infection in my body was dangerously close to the number of hairs on my head: zero.

From the world’s perspective, I didn’t have much to be thankful for. I was stricken with a rare cancer, facing months of grueling treatment, bald, sick, fatigued, and scared.

And yet, these verses challenged my thinking:

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (I Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Some days, I didn’t feel like rejoicing. Chemo made my mind too foggy to pray. I struggled to find reasons to give thanks.

With great relief, I noticed the scripture doesn’t say, “Give thanks for all circumstances.” God didn’t ask me to give thanks for cancer—in fact, I believe He hates cancer, along with all the effects of this fallen world. He asked me to give thanks in all circumstances, and then He graciously enabled me to do so.

Maybe this year, giving thanks is a challenge for you. I’ve been there, and I’m sorry for your pain. When our life is a mess, our future uncertain, or our hearts broken, how can we give thanks in those circumstances?

God doesn’t ask us to wear a fake smile and humor Him with a Pinterest-inspired thankfulness craft. He hears our cries for rescue, restoration, and relief from our suffering. Then the Lord gently lifts our tear-stained faces and shows us He is with us. He cares for us, He is at work, and He can be trusted in our trials. Our Heavenly Father lovingly reminds us that He is the reason we give thanks in all circumstances.

No matter what you face this week, the Lord gives you a reason to give thanks in all circumstances.

 

Photo by Dan Musat on Unsplash

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The Free App Your Prayer Life Needs Today

April 14, 2016 by Marissa 1 Comment

Prayer Mate (1)
Don’t you love it when you run into a friend who shared a struggle with you, and you’ve been praying fervently for her? You hug her and immediately ask for an update. She feels loved and supported by your commitment to pray for her.

And then there’s the way it goes too often in my life: You’re chatting with a friend, when she mentions that situation you promised prayer for. Your stomach drops as you realize you completely forgot.

I’ve tried various methods over the years to prevent this sinking feeling by keeping up with the prayer needs of others. For the past couple of years, I kept a small box of notecards. I separated the notecards into groups: family, close friends, those dealing with cancer, those in ministry, and other needs. I’d rotate through the cards in each group, praying for one or two from each category when I sat down to pray.

It’s a great system, but it’s still easy to forget. And when someone mentions a need to me at lunch or as we’re dropping our kids off at school, chances are slim that I’ll remember to write it down three hours later when I get home with a van full of groceries and a million things to do.

Then a friend told me about the Prayermate app. It is basically my notecard system on my phone, which is always within reach and even makes little noises regularly to remind me that it’s still there.

Here’s the basic setup: You create lists of topics (family, friends, ministry, etc.). Within each list, you create topics (husband, kids, pastor, your friend Marissa, etc.). You can write as much or as little as you like about each topic. When you open the app to pray, it shows you several topics from the lists you’ve created to refer to as you pray. Over time, the app rotates through all the topics, using priorities that you set, so that you are regularly praying for all the needs on your list.

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When you open the app to pray, it will show you a selection of topics. You can increase or decrease the number of selections easily. You swipe left, and it will show you one selected topic at a time. I have mine set up to show me an attribute to praise God for, a sin to confess, a reason for thankfulness, a member of my immediate family, and then several prayer needs.

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Here are some features I love about the Prayermate app:

  • It’s free!
  • You can associate a topic with a contact in your phone and text your friend directly from the app. It’s great for letting someone know you’re praying for her!
  • You can password-protect the app if you want. Because sometimes I hand my phone to my kids, and my kids don’t need to read about your marital issues.
  • You can set a specific number of topics from each list to be shown at each prayer session. I use this to tell the app that I want to pray for one member of my immediate family each time I pray. I also want to pray through one topic from my Praise, Confession and Thanksgiving lists.

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  • You can set a topic to be a high priority so you’ll see it more often. My husband is a high priority on my app, along with friends in the midst of a crisis.
  • You can set a topic to be shown on a specific date. If I told you I’d pray for your job interview or surgery, Prayermate will help me remember!
  • You can subscribe to built-in lists such as Open Doors USA, which gives you a prayer request for a different country each day.
  • You can set reminders to pray at certain times each day. I set one for first thing in the morning, and in case I ignore that one, I’ve got a second reminder set at bedtime.

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What do I not like about the Prayermate app?

  • It doesn’t kick me in the butt when I ignore it.

Seriously, there is nothing I don’t like about it. I still HAVE TO PRAY, and that’s the hard part sometimes. No app can fix my lack of self-discipline. My phone can’t address the heart issues that cause me to prioritize other things above bringing my family and friends before the throne of God. But as God works in my heart to help me to prioritize prayer, the Prayermate app is a wonderful tool. Go check it out, and let me know what you think!

Find the PrayerMate app on iTunes here. Find the app in the Google Play store here.

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What does your prayer life say about God?

April 22, 2012 by Marissa Leave a Comment

What would someone believe about God if all they knew about Him was what they learned from your prayer life?  

This question posed by our pastor today has got me thinking.  If someone could witness your prayer life, would they think . . .

 

God must require them to say these words every day so they can check that off their list.

Her God must not be too powerful, if this is all she’s asking for.

Is this God a short-order cook?  She calls Him “Father” but then talks to Him like she’s placing a fast-food order.

It doesn’t seem like God has done anything for her before, why does she think He will do something now?

This God must either not exist or not be too important if this is all the praying she does.

 

OR . . .

 

This God is deserving of worship and adoration for all His wonderful attributes and promises.  He is good, and He has done marvelous things.

This God has saved her and given her all good gifts.

This God has done so much for her that she can’t stop thanking Him.

This God must be holy–she needs to confess her sin before Him.

I can’t believe she has the nerve to ask for THAT!  This must be one powerful God.  She must think He is actually in control and able to do that.

She loves so many people enough to pray for them regularly, and she believes God can and will help them.

This God truly is her Father.  I can tell by the way she is pouring out her heart to Him.

Did she just thank Him in the midst of her trial?  This God gives trials and uses them for good?  She’s still praising Him–He must truly be a good and faithful God.

 

I know what I believe about God:  that He is my holy, almighty Father, who gave His Son for salvation and has given me so many undeserved gifts that there is not time in the day to thank Him for all of them.  He is all-powerful, faithful and good, and He cares deeply for me.  All of my days and all of my loved ones are in His hands.  So why doesn’t my prayer life reflect that?

 

Our pastor said this morning that prayer is hard.  Not a very pastor-like thing to say, if you ask me.  But I’m glad he said it, because it is true.  Prayer is a privilege, but it is also a discipline.  It takes practice and time and effort.

 

I want the Lord to be glorified by the way I talk to Him, even when no one else is listening or watching, simply because of who He is and what He has done.  He is worthy of our praise, confession, thanksgiving and petitions.  As I can remember my Grandma Coomber singing:  what a friend we have in Jesus, and what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

 

“What a Friend We Have in Jesus”

Words by Joseph M. Scriven

 

What a friend we have in Jesus, 

all our sins and griefs to bear! 

What a privilege to carry 

everything to God in prayer! 

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear, 

all because we do not carry 

everything to God in prayer. 

 

Have we trials and temptations? 

Is there trouble anywhere? 

We should never be discouraged; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Can we find a friend so faithful 

who will all our sorrows share? 

Jesus knows our every weakness; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

 

Are we weak and heavy laden, 

cumbered with a load of care? 

Precious Savior, still our refuge; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? 

Take it to the Lord in prayer! 

In his arms he’ll take and shield thee; 

thou wilt find a solace there.

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I write to remind myself of the truth of God's promises. I share my writing here in case you need to be reminded sometimes, too.

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  • Finding Hope Amid Severe Illness {Guest Post for Ligonier Ministries}
  • God’s Faithfulness in a Winter Season – Part 3 {Guest post for enCourage}
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