Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

Scans

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There are many difficult aspects of life in Cancer World, even when you live there as someone who is blessed to be currently cancer-free.  For me, the quarterly check-ups are one of the most difficult parts.  When you’ve had cancer, especially one as aggressive as angiosarcoma, you know your cancer-free status can be snatched away at any time.  A lump, a symptom . . . the possibility is always lurking, but never as ominously as when you go for those scans.  I will make trips to Houston every three months for a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis to check for a recurrence.  My scans are coming up soon.  And I’ll be honest, it is a struggle to keep the anxiety from taking over.

It feels like I’m standing on a beach.  The sand beneath my feet is my cancer-free life–being a normal mom who gets to drive her kids to school, go to Wal-mart, show up for stuff even when someone with a cold might be there, and take care of her family.  I can hear the waves of recurrence threatening to wipe my cancer-free life away, but it’s dark.  I have no idea whether I’m inches from those waves or whether they are way off in the distance.  I have no idea when the tide will roll in.  Will it come with this scan?  Or the next?  Or not for 20 years?  The darkness is what makes it so difficult.  If I could just see those waves, maybe I could get myself ready . . .

But then I realize that I’m not standing only on sand.  Beneath that sand is the Rock, and it cannot be washed away even by the most ferocious waves.  That Rock is Jesus Christ.  Hebrews 2:8 reminds us that everything is under His control.  And I John 3:16 reminds us that He loves me so much that He died for me.  That is one powerful, comforting combination.

This is the remedy for the anxiety that threatens to overwhelm me at times . . . God’s character and His promises to me.  He doesn’t promise that the waves won’t come.  But He promises to meet every one of my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

I’m so thankful for that Rock.

If you would like to pray for me, please pray that the perfect peace of God would guard my heart and my mind and that my mind would be steadfast on Christ.  You can pray for comfort for me as I go through the CT scan and await the results, for wisdom for my doctors, and that my life would bring glory to Jesus Christ, my Rock and my Redeemer.

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Prayer Binder: Confession

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For an introduction to my prayer binder, click here.  For the post on the Adoration section, click here.

For those of you who just came to this post hoping for a photo of the inside of the confession section, forget it!

Ah, good old confession.  It’s just about enough to make us want to throw that whole ACTS thing out the window, right?  But one thing I’ve been learning lately is that the Christian life is a life of ongoing repentance.  So this might be one of the most important aspects of prayer.  I think it’s important to remember that we not only need to actively confess the sin that we’re aware of, but also take time to be quiet, asking the Holy Spirit to prick our hearts and show us the sin we have been ignoring.

The confession section of my prayer binder is simple.  It is a page where I have listed patterns of sin that I struggle with the most often, such as materialism, pride, selfishness, lack of self-control, envy, discontentment, and anxiety.  I pray through the list, focusing on things I am currently struggling with the most, and then asking God to show me if there’s anything new I need to jot down.

At the top and bottom of my confession page, I have two very important reminders.  They are quotes from Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions (page 74).  At the top of the page, I have written:

“Thy blood is the blood of incarnate God, its worth infinite, its value beyond all thought.  Infinite must be the evil and guilt that demands such a price . . . “

At the bottom of the page, I have written:

” . . . yet thy compassions yearn over me, thy heart hastens to my rescue, thy love endured my curse, thy mercy bore my deserved stripes.”

I love these daily reminders of two very important truths.  First, that my sin is serious.  Christ’s blood is infinite in value.  And that was the price demanded by my worry, my pride, my selfishness, my discontentment.  These are not small issues.

Second, that Christ paid the price for my sin so that I can stand righteous before a Holy God.  God Himself worked in history to secure my rescue.  In light of the ways I rebel against His Word every day, this is truly amazing grace.

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Prayer Binder: Adoration

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For the introduction to my prayer binder, click here.

Ever since I learned the Adoration-Confession-Thanksgiving-Supplication prayer tool many, many years ago, I’ve known it was a good idea to praise God for who He is before presenting my laundry list of needs.  But to be honest, this was the most awkward aspect of prayer for me for a long time.  I’d usually throw out my usual, “Lord, you are holy, you are good, you are loving,” and then move on.

Last summer, I studied God’s character and attributes with a wonderful group of ladies–I highly recommend the study, Behold Your God.  It was very helpful to study God’s omniscience, omnipotence, faithfulness, sovereignty, immutability, and more . . . basically, a study of what God has told us about Himself and what it means for our lives.  And one fabulous by-product of this study is that I was armed with Scripture about the Lord that I can use to praise Him for His character.

In the Adoration section of my prayer binder, I write attributes of God with Scripture listed underneath.

I’m constantly adding to this list, and the added Scripture breathes new life into this part of my prayer life.  As I read God’s Word, I’m watching for new verses to add to my Adoration section.  If you’re interested in starting an Adoration section in your prayer journal, here are some verses to get you started:

God’s love:  Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 106:1

God’s wisdom:  Psalm 32:8, Isaiah 55:8-9

God’s power and strength:  Job 9:4-9, Psalm 46:1-3

What are your favorite Scripture that speak of the character of God and lead to worship of Him?

O magnify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together!  Psalm 34:3

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Prayer: Some Ideas

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About six months ago (wow, how time flies), I sent out an email to many of my friends digging into the personal depths of their prayer lives.  To the brave ones who wrote me back, thank you so much.  I promise to mention you by name only once or twice in this post.  😉

I was not surprised to find that I am not the only one who struggles with inconsistency in my prayer life.  We are all a little too tired, a little too busy, a little too undisciplined, a little too interested in tv and the internet and all the distractions of life.  Our mind wanders; the dryer buzzes; we get sleepy; the kids wake up.  We like to talk to people who audibly talk back.  It is difficult to carve out time to present our prayers and petitions to the Lord, and it seems nearly impossible to take the additional time to be still and listen to what He has to say.

I was also not surprised to find that my friends have some really good ideas when it comes to prayer . . .

On planning for prayer:

  • Have a shared prayer time with your husband.
  • Have a scheduled time to pray with a group of women (e.g., Moms In Touch at school).
  • Keep long-term needs and short-term needs in separate sections of a notebook and record answers to prayer.
  • Have a specific prayer task for each day of the week:  Monday–husband, Tuesday–kids, Wednesday–friends, Thursday–missionaries, etc.
  • Maximize family prayer time before meals, at bedtime, etc.  Pray with the kids while driving in the car.
  • Twice a year, take a significant chunk of time away to pray through needs of marriage, kids, family, and friends.  Journal and write down goals and prayer requests for the next 6 months to review next time and see how God is working.

On praying for our families:

  • Keep notebooks for each member of family, including self, write prayers for that person, or if there are not needs, how you can minister to them.
  • Pray over each person at night after they are asleep.
  • Read through the Bible in a year and make notes in that Bible for one specific family member.  Write prayers in it for him/her to have later.
  • Praying for your husband from his head to his feet–protection from temptation with his eyes, those he comes into contact with with a handshake at work, etc.

On praying for others:

  • Pray for someone immediately when you learn of the request so you don’t forget.
  • View intercession as something we can do as a ministry even when we have young kids at home and may not.

Helpful books/resources:

I love my friends and all their great ideas!  But if you’re anything like me, I suggest praying for discipline first and foremost.  I can have all the great tips and tools in the world, but I still have to make the decision to stop doing something else and go to the Lord in prayer.

What are some ideas or helps that have improved your prayer life?

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