Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

When We Slam into the Wall of God’s “Wait”

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When We Slam into the Wall of God's

 

There’s something I want.

 

My desire is materialistic, and no small matter, but almost everyone I’ve told agrees it’s a great idea. (I have very convincing arguments.)

 

Only one obstacle stands in the way: my husband isn’t ready for me to have it.

 

And I hate being told “not right now.”

 

When my husband first started voicing concerns, I didn’t pay much attention. I only heard the messages I was speaking to myself: “You deserve to be happy. There’s no reason not to fix this for yourself.”

 

Determined to get what I wanted, I repeatedly slammed into the wall of my husband’s hesitation. Arguments began. I trampled over his opinions, armed with the certainty that I was right.

 

But rather than crumbling my husband’s resolve, the Lord started to crumble mine. You probably know the feeling—those little bursts of conviction working on your heart.

 

I decided to invite an older, wiser friend to lunch and ask her advice. When I explained the situation, I had a feeling she wouldn’t say, “Just ignore what your husband thinks. Get what you want.”

 

And I was right.

 

My friend gently pointed out my wrong thinking, selfish attitude, discontentment, and lack of gratitude for what God’s already given me. She reminded me that I can trust God to give me good things. I can wait on Him, because His ways are perfect.

 

Did I know these truths? Absolutely.

 

Was I acting like it? Not one bit.

 

As we spoke, God lovingly pried these desires from my hands and placed them into His. I’m still tempted to grab them back sometimes. I start to worry that He won’t ever give me something I think is good for me.

 

In Matthew 6, we read about God’s care for the grass of the field and the birds of the air. And Jesus calls us out in our unbelief: “O you of little faith . . . do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all” (Matthew 6:31-32, emphasis mine).

 

Here’s the bottom line: Can I trust that what the Lord gives me is always best? Can I believe that what He withholds was never mine to begin with? Can I have faith that my heavenly Father will give me everything I need?

 

What do you want that God isn’t giving? Are you struggling to trust His provision? Will you join me in learning to trust that God gives us all we need? Can we put our good desires into His hands and leave them there, waiting on His timing and His perfect ways?

 

Let’s celebrate both that God can be trusted and that His grace covers all our unbelief as we struggle to trust Him more fully.

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God Will Complete the Good Work {No Matter What Monday}

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phil 1.6

Do you ever wonder what in the world God is doing? I do.

I wonder what He’s doing in our world, in our country, and in the lives of those around me.

And I often wonder what He’s doing with me. I wonder what He’s doing in me.

Philippians 1:6 gives insight into those questions: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Other Scriptures say it this way:

“I cry out to the God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me” (Psalm 57:2).

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands” (Psalm 138:8).

“[God] who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (I Thessalonians 5:24).

God began a good work in me when He redeemed me by His grace and sent His Spirit to live in me. And this good work will be finished someday, because the Lord who is faithful will surely do it! 

I love this quote about how God uses our suffering to complete His good work in us:

“God is faithful; he will use the brokenness of the world that is your present address to complete the loving work of personal transformation that he has begun” (Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies, March 8 devotional).

When I feel discouraged by the sin that runs rampant in this world and the sin that runs rampant in my own heart, I can take comfort in knowing that the Lord will fulfill all His purposes for me.

No matter what, you can trust your faithful God to complete the loving work of transformation He has begun in you.

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40 Biblical Principles For Parenting

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Recently, I evaluated the books, advice, and paradigms which have influenced my parenting.  While I believe that parenting books and counsel from wise parents can be useful and good, I want to ensure that the primary impact on my parenting decisions comes from God’s Word.

 

I embarked on a search for resources that describe what the Bible says about parenting.  There are countless lists of verses to use when teaching your children to behave.  I already own and use many of these.  But I was looking for verses telling ME how to behave as a parent.  And this was surprisingly difficult.

 

I didn’t discover many resources that use Scripture to teach parents how to behave toward their children.  (However, one helpful publication I found was “A Checklist for Parents” by Pam Forster.)  Since no one else was going to make this easy for me, I decided to compile my own list.  Using Forster’s checklist and my own search of God’s Word, I wrote a list of biblical principles for my own parenting.  It turns out that the Bible has a lot to say to parents!  And so I thought I should share what I found, with the hope that other parents might be encouraged by it. 

 

Due to the large number of verses, I grouped them into four categories.  First, I have general biblical principles for parenting.  These are general principles regarding our role as parents.  Second, I have biblical principles for discipline.  These relate to how we discipline our children, since this is a topic addressed multiple times by Scripture.

 

Next, I listed principles for how we should relate to our children.  These principles apply to loving all our neighbors.  But they are important to consider, since following these biblical admonitions is often more difficult in our own home.

 

Finally, I listed principles for our personal spiritual growth.  As we grow in Christlikeness, our parenting will reflect that change.  Our children will benefit as we draw nearer to our Savior and deepen our understanding of God’s Word.

 

As you may have noticed, only a fraction of these verses speak directly to parents or the act of parenting.  As I studied, I started to realize that our cultural emphasis on parenting doesn’t seem to be reflected in Scripture.  We are preoccupied with parenting, because we are so afraid of getting it wrong.  I’m not saying that parenting isn’t important.  However, I think our cultural obsession with being a good parent might not be biblically accurate.  If we were primarily focused on growing in obedience to Christ and dependence on Him, I believe wise parenting would naturally flow from our submission to God and His Word.

 

This list is far from complete.  I’m certain that I could study God’s Word for years and still have more to learn about motherhood.  But there’s enough on this list to keep me busy long after my kids have grown up and started families of their own.  It’s a good place to start.

 

What biblical principles for parenting would you add to this list?  Leave me a comment with your ideas!

 

Click here for a downloadable PDF.

 

40 BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES FOR PARENTING

 

1. General biblical principles for parenting: 

  • Pray for your children (specifically, for them to follow God’s commands)

(I Samuel 12:23, I Chronicles 29:19)

  • Give praise generously 

(Proverbs 3:27)

  • Pass on wisdom 

(Proverbs 4:11, Proverbs 31:26)

  • Teach your children to find their refuge in the Lord 

(Proverbs 14:26)

  • Tell your children of God’s wonderful deeds and His faithfulness 

(Psalm 78:4, Psalm 145:4, Isaiah 38:19)

  • Rightly handle the word of truth 

(II Timothy 2:15)

  • Teach them the Gospel and prepare them to recognize false doctrine

(Romans 1:16, Galatians 1:8-9)

 

2.  Biblical principles for discipline:  

  • Be diligent in discipline in order to drive out foolishness 

(Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 22:15, Proverbs 29:15)

  • Teach your children God’s commands 

(Deuteronomy 6:6-7, I Samuel 12:23, Psalm 103:18-19)

  • Reprove, rebuke and exhort with patience and teaching 

(Proverbs 3:12, II Timothy 4:2)

  • Set an example for your children and do not lead them into sin 

(Proverbs 20:7, Matthew 18:6, I Peter 5:2-3)

  • Restore them gently when they sin 

(Galatians 6:1-2)

  • Exhort and encourage them to walk in a manner worthy of God by loving  others and doing good works

(I Thessalonians 2:11-12, Hebrews 10:24)

 

3.  Biblical principles for relating to your children: 

  • Have compassion on your children and remember their weakness 

(Psalm 103:13-14)

  • Do not bear a grudge against them 

(Leviticus 19:18)

  • Love them with love that is patient and kind, not boastful or envious or rude, not irritable or insisting on your own way, bearing all things and rejoicing in the truth 

(I Corinthians 13:4-7)

  • Display the fruits of the Spirit toward your children (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness gentleness and self-control)

(Galatians 5:22-23)

  • Walk in a manner worthy of your calling by showing humility, gentleness, patience, and bearing with them in love 

(Ephesians 4:1-3)

  • Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouth 

(Ephesians 4:29)

  • Encourage them and give grace with your words 

(Ephesians 4:29)

  • Be reasonable and joyful 

(Philippians 4:4-5)

  • Be compassionate, kind, humble, meek, and patient 

(Colossians 3:12)

  • Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you 

(Colossians 3:13)

  • Lay down your life for them 

(I John 3:16)

  • Love in deed and truth and not just words 

(I John 3:18)

  • Love them as God has loved you 

(I John 4:11)

 

4.  Biblical principles for our own spiritual growth as parents: 

  • Seek God’s kingdom first 

(Matthew 6:33)

  • Love God and others 

(Matthew 22:38-39, Romans 13:9)

  • Walk with integrity 

(Proverbs 20:7)

  • Choose your advisors carefully and remain grounded in God’s Word

(Psalm 1:1-2)

  • Provide for your children and your household 

(II Corinthians 12:14, I Timothy 5:8)

  • Remember you will sow what you reap 

(Galatians 6:7)

  • Wives, submit to your husbands  

(Ephesians 5:22)

  • Fathers, do not provoke your children 

(Ephesians 6:4)

  • Do not be anxious about anything 

(Philippians 4:6-7)

  • Pray about everything 

(Philippians 4:6-7)

  • Think on what is true and right 

(Philippians 4:8)

  • Be thankful 

(I Thessalonians 5:18)

  • Draw near to the throne of grace to find mercy and grace to help in time of need 

(Hebrews 4:16)

  • Ask God for wisdom 

(James 1:5)

 

List of Scripture references*:  Leviticus 19:18; Deuteronomy 6:6-7; I Samuel 12:23; I Chronicles 29:19; Psalm 1:1-2, 78:4, 103:13-14, 103:17-18, 145:4; Proverbs 3:12, 3:27, 4:11, 13:24, 14:26, 20:7, 22:15, 29:15, 31:26; Isaiah 38:19; Matthew 6:33, 18:6, 22:38-39; Romans 1:16, 13:9; I Corinthians 13:4-7; II Corinthians 12:14; Galatians 1:8-9, 5:22-23, 6:1, 6:7; Ephesians 4:1-3, 4:29, 5:22, 6:4; Philippians 4:4-8; Colossians 3:12-13; I Thessalonians 2:11-12; I Thessalonians 5:18; I Timothy 5:8; II Timothy 2:15, 4:2; Hebrews 4:16, 10:24; James 1:5; I Peter 5:2-3; I John 3:16; I John 3:18; I John 4:11

*The above Scripture references can be copied and pasted into the search box on www.esvbible.org to read the entire list of verses.

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Therefore

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Romans 12:1-2:  Therefore, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Our pastor has been preaching through Romans.  It has been so good.  I think if I could only have one book out of the Bible, I’d pick Romans.  I could read every day about what a wretched sinner I am (Romans 1 and 3), how God chose to save me through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23-25, 5:8, 10:9), that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39).

Last Sunday, we arrived at Romans 12.  The big “Therefore . . . ”  News as fabulous and life-changing as the Gospel requires a response.  And Romans 12 tells us that our response of gratitude for what God has done for us is to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice and be transformed by the renewing of our mind.

I’ve been thinking about these verses for a few days now and pondering how my mind needs some renewal.  When I first found out that I was cancer-free and finished with treatment, I was overflowing with joy.  Anyone who asked how I was doing would get an earful about all the wonderful things God had done.

But as time goes on, discontentment and anxiety start to creep in.  I stop being thrilled to have hair and start to envy the long, beautiful hair of others.  I look around me and feel jealous of those who don’t have to go to Houston every three months for a CT scan, who don’t have to think about cancer returning, and who blissfully assume they will hold their grandchildren someday.  I start to hold on tightly to my own plans instead of being thankful for today and trusting tomorrow to the Lord because He knows best.

I hate sin.  It is so ugly.  Especially mine.

When I read, “offer your bodies as living sacrifices,” it sounds like I need to give myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to the One who created me and His perfect will.  I need to say, “God, because I have received your mercy and grace in Christ, I know You are good and Your ways are perfect.  You can let this body be devoured by cancer or live 50 more years–whatever brings more glory to Your name.”  Do I have the courage to say that?  Some days I don’t, some days I do–only by the power of the Holy Spirit.

To offer my body as a living sacrifice, I need my mind to be renewed.  I’ve decided that when those envious or anxious thoughts creep in, I will focus my mind on something God has done to show His faithfulness to me, especially during my 9-month-long cancer battle.  I will choose not to be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed, so I can proclaim that God’s will is indeed good, pleasing and perfect.

To God be the glory.

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