Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

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iPhone Detox Plan

May 21, 2012 by Marissa 3 Comments

Last week I wrote a confession about my iPhone addiction and how it is negatively impacting my parenting.  Since then, I’ve struggled a bit with how to write this post about the changes I’ve made.  I don’t want it to come across as boastful.  “Look at me!  I’m supermom!  I’ve deleted all my fun apps, and so should you, or you’ll never be as great a mom as me!”  This is not the statement I’m trying to make.  One of my purposes for this blog is that it exalts the name of Jesus Christ, not me.

 

So I want to start by saying that these are some rules I have imposed on myself because this little rectangular screen has become an idol.  Rules that I need because, despite spending months away from my kids battling a rare cancer that still threatens to take me from them someday, I often choose meaningless entertainment over spending these fleeting days and years wisely with the children whom God has entrusted to me.

 

Not exactly anything to boast about, right?  I didn’t think so.  Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here is my iPhone Detox Plan.

 

Here’s a BEFORE shot of my iPhone:

I realized that every time I turn on my phone to make a call or answer a text, I see those tempting little numbers by my email or Facebook or Words With Friends.  So reflexively, I tap to see who likes my status or how badly my grandmother is beating me at Words.  (Embarrassing, but true.)  Next thing I know, my six-year-old is talking to me, and I’m giving him the I’m-checking-facebook-and-pretending-to-be-listening-”uh-huh.”

 

(Side note:  My six-year-old feels the need to tell me pretty much everything he thinks, all day long.  Ten years from now, it will really come in handy if he still wants to do this.  So I should probably PUT THE PHONE DOWN AND LISTEN NOW.)

 

To fight against these distracting little numbers, I decided to hide them on the third screen of my iPhone.  This is what my home screen looks like now:

 Very boring, right?  I can call, text, look up a Bible verse, take a picture, check my calendar or to-do list, and renew library books.  (Not that the Bible is boring.  But you get the point.)

 

And if I want to browse Pinterest, check email, or play a game?  I have to swipe all the way to the third screen and open a folder titled “Are Kids There?”  How’s that for conviction??  These apps are all off-limits if my kids are around.

Here is the rest of my iPhone Detox Plan:

1.  I’m not carrying my phone around in my pocket anymore.  It stays on the kitchen counter, and I check it periodically.  If someone needs something urgent, they can call my home phone.  This eliminates the temptation to answer calls or texts while reading to my kids or to check email every five minutes when I get bored.

 

2.  When I’m out with my kids, my phone stays in my purse.  This applies to spending time with friends and date nights with Noel whenever possible.  No more Pinterest at the park.

 

3.  When I’m driving, my phone stays in my purse.  My bluetooth lets me know if I get a call and who it’s from.  I can even answer it hands-free if needed.  No more texting at stoplights!  I’ve asked my kids to hold me accountable on this one.

 

4.  I’m trying to reduce talking on the phone while driving with my kids and spend that time chatting with them while I have a captive audience.

 

5.  Unless it is a special situation, I am no longer answering call-waiting.  The person I’m talking to is important and deserves my attention.  (This doesn’t have anything to do with my kids or my iPhone.  But it’s part of life in 1982 that I miss–the ability to talk to just one person at a time.)

 

6.  My husband and I have decided that 6-8 p.m. will be phone-free and computer-free time in our home.  We are not militant about it, but we are trying to be more aware and really devote those hours to spending time together as a family.  I’m much more likely to read one more bedtime story if I know I can’t use my laptop for another 20 minutes anyway.

 

As I mentioned earlier, I have already broken these rules a few times.  I’m amazed at how reflexively I reach for my back pocket, how often I wonder if I have any email, how I feel compelled to read every text message within five seconds of hearing that chime.

 

Let’s be honest.  I am a housewife.  None of my emails are urgent.  But these kids are growing up at lightening speed, and in a few years, they won’t want to talk to me or play Monopoly with me or tell me every detail of the Magic Tree House book they just read.  That’s the urgent stuff, and I want my minute-to-minute choices to reflect that.

 

If you have felt convicted about technology use or another distraction in your life, what changes are you making?  Will you leave a comment and let me know?

 

To God be the glory.

 

 

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Would you die for a criminal?

February 24, 2012 by Marissa Leave a Comment

Don’t you love those teaching moments with your kids when you realize they truly get it?  Like when Christopher was 3, and he had heard all about Jesus dying on the cross, but I was there for the moment that he realized that Jesus had risen from the dead . . . “You mean He’s ALIVE?!?  HOOORRRAAAYYY!!!”  His genuine exuberance brought tears to my eyes.

This morning, I was reading Romans 5 to the kids when we came across these verses:

Romans 5:6-8:  For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  For one will scarcely die for a righteous person–though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die–but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  

I asked Christopher–and told him not to answer out loud–what he would do if a bad guy came into our house with a gun and told him that he was going to either kill him or his brother.  Who would he choose?  It would be a tough choice, wouldn’t it?  I told him that I would die for them, because they are my children, and I love them that much.  But there aren’t a lot of people I would die for.

Then I asked another question: “What if a bad guy broke into our house and stole all our stuff?  He would be our enemy, right?  And then what if another bad guy brought that bad guy in and gave you a choice.  The second bad guy would either kill you or the guy who stole all your stuff.  What do you choose?”

Christopher got excited.  He knew the answer to this one.  “The bad guy!”  he said enthusiastically, “He would definitely have to kill the bad guy, not me!”

The great thing about kids is that they rarely see where the illustration is headed until you lower the boom.

“Christopher, you are the bad guy.  That’s what these verses are saying.  We are sinners, and we were God’s enemies.  But Jesus said to the Father, ‘Kill me, not them.’  He died for us even though we were the bad guys.”

He was speechless, and I was almost in tears.  Hit with my own reminder of the unfathomable nature of the Gospel.  The crazy, true story in which the perfect, blameless Son of God dies for a bunch of wretched sinners like you and me.  The most amazing love story of all.

 

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Therefore

January 24, 2012 by Marissa Leave a Comment

Romans 12:1-2:  Therefore, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Our pastor has been preaching through Romans.  It has been so good.  I think if I could only have one book out of the Bible, I’d pick Romans.  I could read every day about what a wretched sinner I am (Romans 1 and 3), how God chose to save me through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23-25, 5:8, 10:9), that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39).

Last Sunday, we arrived at Romans 12.  The big “Therefore . . . ”  News as fabulous and life-changing as the Gospel requires a response.  And Romans 12 tells us that our response of gratitude for what God has done for us is to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice and be transformed by the renewing of our mind.

I’ve been thinking about these verses for a few days now and pondering how my mind needs some renewal.  When I first found out that I was cancer-free and finished with treatment, I was overflowing with joy.  Anyone who asked how I was doing would get an earful about all the wonderful things God had done.

But as time goes on, discontentment and anxiety start to creep in.  I stop being thrilled to have hair and start to envy the long, beautiful hair of others.  I look around me and feel jealous of those who don’t have to go to Houston every three months for a CT scan, who don’t have to think about cancer returning, and who blissfully assume they will hold their grandchildren someday.  I start to hold on tightly to my own plans instead of being thankful for today and trusting tomorrow to the Lord because He knows best.

I hate sin.  It is so ugly.  Especially mine.

When I read, “offer your bodies as living sacrifices,” it sounds like I need to give myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to the One who created me and His perfect will.  I need to say, “God, because I have received your mercy and grace in Christ, I know You are good and Your ways are perfect.  You can let this body be devoured by cancer or live 50 more years–whatever brings more glory to Your name.”  Do I have the courage to say that?  Some days I don’t, some days I do–only by the power of the Holy Spirit.

To offer my body as a living sacrifice, I need my mind to be renewed.  I’ve decided that when those envious or anxious thoughts creep in, I will focus my mind on something God has done to show His faithfulness to me, especially during my 9-month-long cancer battle.  I will choose not to be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed, so I can proclaim that God’s will is indeed good, pleasing and perfect.

To God be the glory.

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Prayer Binder: Confession

September 30, 2010 by Marissa Leave a Comment

For an introduction to my prayer binder, click here.  For the post on the Adoration section, click here.

For those of you who just came to this post hoping for a photo of the inside of the confession section, forget it!

Ah, good old confession.  It’s just about enough to make us want to throw that whole ACTS thing out the window, right?  But one thing I’ve been learning lately is that the Christian life is a life of ongoing repentance.  So this might be one of the most important aspects of prayer.  I think it’s important to remember that we not only need to actively confess the sin that we’re aware of, but also take time to be quiet, asking the Holy Spirit to prick our hearts and show us the sin we have been ignoring.

The confession section of my prayer binder is simple.  It is a page where I have listed patterns of sin that I struggle with the most often, such as materialism, pride, selfishness, lack of self-control, envy, discontentment, and anxiety.  I pray through the list, focusing on things I am currently struggling with the most, and then asking God to show me if there’s anything new I need to jot down.

At the top and bottom of my confession page, I have two very important reminders.  They are quotes from Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions (page 74).  At the top of the page, I have written:

“Thy blood is the blood of incarnate God, its worth infinite, its value beyond all thought.  Infinite must be the evil and guilt that demands such a price . . . “

At the bottom of the page, I have written:

” . . . yet thy compassions yearn over me, thy heart hastens to my rescue, thy love endured my curse, thy mercy bore my deserved stripes.”

I love these daily reminders of two very important truths.  First, that my sin is serious.  Christ’s blood is infinite in value.  And that was the price demanded by my worry, my pride, my selfishness, my discontentment.  These are not small issues.

Second, that Christ paid the price for my sin so that I can stand righteous before a Holy God.  God Himself worked in history to secure my rescue.  In light of the ways I rebel against His Word every day, this is truly amazing grace.

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I write to remind myself of the truth of God's promises. I share my writing here in case you need to be reminded sometimes, too.

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