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The Words No One Said to My Son that Night (and Why I’m Grateful)

October 19, 2017 by Marissa 3 Comments

The lights dimmed as I gripped my program and shifted in my seat with anticipation. After driving my son to what felt like 101 rehearsals, I was ready to watch him perform in his school’s junior high musical.

The spotlights followed the young teenagers around the stage, songs filled the air, and my son made the audience roar with laughter. I felt the familiar joy all moms feel as we watch our children do well. I felt relief that he didn’t forget his lines or trip over his own rapidly-growing feet.

I also felt a weight of gratitude that I suspect didn’t cross the other moms’ minds that evening. I was thankful that my son had a great time performing, for friends and relatives who joined us in the audience, and for a school that gives my child these opportunities. But there was one thing I was grateful for above all of these.

I was grateful that no one would say to my son that night, “Your mom sure would’ve loved this. She’d be so proud of you.”

Seven years ago, as I read the dismal survival rates for angiosarcoma, as I traveled to MD Anderson Cancer Center to receive months of treatment and participate in a clinical trial, as I walked through the early months and years of survivorship . . . I thought ahead to these moments. I saw my children, a few inches taller and a few years more mature, playing in piano competitions, dancing in ballet recitals, competing in spelling bees, and walking to the stage during school awards assemblies.

No matter how much I squinted and searched, I couldn’t see whether or not I was sitting in the crowd. I feared those normally-happy occasions would be marred by my absence. I imagined the sad half-smiles and the words others would say to console my children: “Your mom would be so proud.”

And by God’s grace, here I am. Not a week goes by that I don’t marvel at my presence here in 2017. I know other children are missing their moms, and it breaks my heart. I don’t take my present or future health for granted.

But as the house lights came up and I made my way to the lobby after the show, it was a joy to hug my son and say, “Wow, I really loved that! I sure am proud of you.”

Anchor Your Faith in God’s Faithfulness {No Matter What Monday}

August 7, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

I used to think I was good at keeping promises, and then I had kids.

I want to be faithful to my word, and I try to not make promises I can’t keep. But sometimes, I start the day saying, “Sure, I can play chess with you today.” Then each of the day’s tasks takes longer than I expected. The afternoon gets longer, and my temper gets shorter. All of a sudden, it’s 5:30 pm. I should be fixing dinner, but I’m fighting the temptation to hide in my closet with a pint of Halo Top ice cream. The last thing I want to do at that moment sit across a chess board from a chatty 11-year-old.

As I strive to be faithful to my promises, my trust is not in my own faithfulness – and this is great news! My faith is in the faithfulness of One who always keeps His promises.

“God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?” (Numbers 23:19)

God is not like us. He doesn’t lie; He doesn’t change His mind. If He says it, He will do it. Each and every one of His promises will be perfectly fulfilled. What a beautiful anchor of hope for our souls!

When God promises to help us, we can depend on His help (Psalm 121:2). When He says He will strengthen us and hold us, He can and will do it (Isaiah 41:10). When He says He will wipe every tear from our eyes, we can count on a glorious future with Him (Revelation 21:4).

In each Monday devotional this month, we will read about God’s faithfulness to us. As we look ahead to a new school year, make commitments, and see the potential of a fresh start, let’s rejoice that God is faithful even when we’re not. We can trust Him to keep all of His promises us.

No matter what you face this week, anchor your faith in the faithfulness of your Heavenly Father.

You Can Do Hard Things {No Matter What Monday}

June 26, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

The year was 1983. I sat in Mrs. Miller’s first grade classroom, facing an overwhelming task. With little six-year-old fingers, I painstakingly cut out 72 construction paper candles to assemble a birthday cake for President Reagan. It’s the first difficult assignment I remember having as a child, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Now we face grown-up challenges, don’t we? We struggle with our relationships, our work, our health, our finances, and our private wrestling with temptation, unbelief, fear, and doubt. God often gives us difficult assignments as we live as lights for Him in a world filled with sin, brokenness, and pain. But He does not leave us on our own.

In Philippians 4, Paul recalled hardships he faced as he carried out his assignment from the Lord. He was hungry and needy, and he suffered in humiliating circumstances. And yet, he found the secret to being content in these struggles. He wrote, “I can do all things through [the Lord] who strengthens me.”

You can do hard things. You can complete the difficult tasks God gives you. You can walk through a challenging relationship, career, illness, financial situation, or temptation and emerge on the other side looking more like Jesus.

Not because you’re amazing, but because your Heavenly Father is.

Not because you’re strong, but because He gives you strength.

Not because you look inside yourself and find the resources you need, but because the Spirit of God lives inside you.

You can do hard things because the Lord is strong and mighty, and He is with you in your struggles.

No matter what you face this week, you can do everything the Lord asks of you because of His strength.

Trust the Lord’s Perfect Ways {No Matter What Monday}

March 13, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

The story is a family legend—an instant classic that’s been told countless times around the dinner table. When my daughter was a toddler, she was playing with her favorite baby doll and her play kitchen. She cradled her baby in her arms, and then opened the wooden microwave door and placed the doll inside, as if laying her in a crib filled with down pillows. As she pushed imaginary buttons, she spoke reassuringly, “It’s okay baby, I’m going to cook you now.”

Even if you hadn’t heard the legend, you wouldn’t trust my daughter, at age two, to care for your baby. She clearly had no idea how to care for a child! Her babysitting skills would be wildly unpredictable. Even now, at age seven, I wouldn’t leave her alone with a small child for more than about 30 seconds.

But when it comes to caring for us, God is perfectly wise. All that He does is right. Therefore, we can trust Him, even when we don’t understand. Even when His plans make about as much sense as putting a baby in a microwave.

“The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he.” (Deuteronomy 32:4)

The Lord is our unchanging Rock. All His ways are perfect (Psalm 18:30). He cannot do anything imperfectly, because His perfection, wisdom, and power are woven into every bit of His character. We can take our worries, fears, hopes, plans, loved ones, dreams, and heartaches and leave them in the hands of the One who handles them perfectly.

No matter what you face this week, you can trust the Lord’s perfect ways.

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