Marriage Archives - Marissa Henley

You Can Do Hard Things {No Matter What Monday}

June 26, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

The year was 1983. I sat in Mrs. Miller’s first grade classroom, facing an overwhelming task. With little six-year-old fingers, I painstakingly cut out 72 construction paper candles to assemble a birthday cake for President Reagan. It’s the first difficult assignment I remember having as a child, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Now we face grown-up challenges, don’t we? We struggle with our relationships, our work, our health, our finances, and our private wrestling with temptation, unbelief, fear, and doubt. God often gives us difficult assignments as we live as lights for Him in a world filled with sin, brokenness, and pain. But He does not leave us on our own.

In Philippians 4, Paul recalled hardships he faced as he carried out his assignment from the Lord. He was hungry and needy, and he suffered in humiliating circumstances. And yet, he found the secret to being content in these struggles. He wrote, “I can do all things through [the Lord] who strengthens me.”

You can do hard things. You can complete the difficult tasks God gives you. You can walk through a challenging relationship, career, illness, financial situation, or temptation and emerge on the other side looking more like Jesus.

Not because you’re amazing, but because your Heavenly Father is.

Not because you’re strong, but because He gives you strength.

Not because you look inside yourself and find the resources you need, but because the Spirit of God lives inside you.

You can do hard things because the Lord is strong and mighty, and He is with you in your struggles.

No matter what you face this week, you can do everything the Lord asks of you because of His strength.

Everlasting Love {No Matter What Monday}

April 24, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

A few years ago, I watched my wedding video with my daughter. She loved seeing my dress and veil, and she was riveted by all the pre-ceremony footage of my bridesmaids and mom bustling around me, helping me with my makeup and carrying my dress’s train. At one point, she turned to me and asked, “Is Daddy going to be in this video?”

God’s Word tells us that the human institution of marriage points to something greater—the love Jesus Christ has for His bride, the church. But often, our view of Christ’s love for us is marred by our experience with marriage: the sting of unfulfilled longings in singleness, the pain of broken promises in divorce, the end of marriage in death, or the unmet expectations in intact marriages.

God’s love is not like human love. I want my young, romantically-inclined daughter to understand that there is One who has loved her perfectly and will never stop. In Jeremiah 31:3b, the Lord says:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”

Yes, my daughter’s daddy eventually made an appearance in our wedding video. But more importantly, her Heavenly Father is present with her, even in her most unlovable moments, pouring out His never-ending love and continuing faithfulness.

There is a love that lasts forever. The good news of the gospel is that there’s nothing you can do to earn this love and nothing you can do to lose it. Christ gave His life to make you His bride. His love is freely and faithfully given to you.

No matter what you face this week, God loves you with an everlasting love.

God Will Give the Wisdom You Need {No Matter What Monday}

September 26, 2016 by Marissa Leave a Comment

Few things in life have driven me to the Lord in prayer more regularly than parenting tweens. (Of course, I haven’t parented teens yet!) Parenting has never been easy. But it feels like the older my kids get, the less I know. And our world is changing so quickly that there are few resources to draw from. The articles and books I read overwhelm me as I realize that every child is different, every school is different, every situation is different.

I have no idea how to do this.

I wish parenting were my only area of confusion. I’ve got other questions: How many hours should I spend on activities that take me away from my family? How much should we be saving for retirement? What’s the best way to support my husband when he faces challenges at work? How do I talk to my kids about current events and the brokenness of our culture? How do I support a friend who’s going through a difficult situation?

Maybe you have tough questions, too. Here’s the good news: God has answers, and He’s willing to share them.

Job 12:13: With God are wisdom and might; he has counsel and understanding.

James 1:5: If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

God is full of wisdom. He knows the hearts of our loved ones. He knows our circumstances. He knows what’s best for us. He knows it all.

And God is generous with His wisdom. He promises to give us the wisdom we need when we ask Him.

In which areas of your life do you need answers? Where have you turning for answers? Friends? The internet? Your own feelings? You have a deeper well of wisdom from which to draw—the unsearchable depth of the Lord’s wisdom.

No matter what you face this week, God will give the wisdom you need.

Adventures in Couponing

July 11, 2009 by Marissa 2 Comments

Several months ago, my husband started expressing his desire for us to start spending less and saving more. (This may or may not have coincided with a certain Democrat being elected president and vowing to “reform” health care. But that is another story for another blog.) He has repeated this preposterous suggestion many, many times. And every time, my flesh (sinful nature) has done a good job of ignoring it. After all, his job is pretty secure, he’s not making less money than he did a year ago–why should we cut back? Shouldn’t I be doing my part to stimulate the economy and support my local retailers? (I really want Gymboree to survive this economic turmoil.) It seemed crazy for my husband to ask me to make sacrifices, and not even so I could use the saved money for something fabulous, like an iPhone or a cleaning lady. Just for the sake of spending less and saving more. He must be nuts, right?

After some conversations with my wonderful friends (if you don’t have godly, truth-speaking friends in your life, may I suggest you get some immediately?), I realized that this was a huge area of disobedience in my life. My husband is asking me to do something. He is not asking me to sin. In fact, the thing he is asking me to do is perfectly reasonable, probably a good idea, and (gulp) would be glorifying God by thinking less about my own selfish desires. I knew it was time for the S-word: submission. I couldn’t bring myself to submit right away, so I started by praying that God would convict me and enable to submit and obey. And then I turned to my local expert on honoring your husband by spending less money: my friend Lynette.

I’ve been giving Lynette my coupons out of the Sunday paper for months. I had no idea what she was doing with them, but I knew I needed to find out. I broke the sad news to her that she would no longer be getting my coupons and asked her to share her secrets with me. Thankfully, she is very supportive of my saving money AND my submitting to my husband! She taught me a few key strategies:

1. Stop being married to specific brands. I was shocked when I compared the shampoo I usually buy with some much cheaper alternatives. I’ve been having shampoo tunnel vision for months, and my hair doesn’t even look that great.

2. Track the cost of items that you buy on a regular basis. When they go on sale, stock up.

3. Keep your coupons from the Sunday paper, and then use blogs such as Common Sense With Money, Money Saving Mom and Passion for Savings to find out how to maximize your savings by combining coupons with low sale prices.

4. Don’t be afraid to shop at Aldi. (I haven’t conquered this one yet. Maybe when the kids go back to school in the fall, and I don’t have to take three kids with me everywhere I go.)

This concept of combining sales and coupons is amazing! It is definitely worth spending some time on. In my first week, check out what I got . . . serious bargain-hunting bloggers always take a photo:

Pringles for 49 cents, family-size boxes of Special K for $2.50 each, Edy’s ice cream for $1.33 each, and deodorant for 38 cents! I also got a pint of Starbucks ice cream for 50 cents, but I gave that to my sister-in-law, because seriously, how much ice cream does a girl need when she has baby weight to lose?!?

Back when I was just dipping my toe into the pool of obedience but not ready to jump in, I read on a stay-at-home mom’s blog that she thinks that her job is to save her family as much money as possible. I thought, “Poor thing. My job is much more enjoyable–spending our family’s money and having fun doing it. Oh, wait . . . hmm, maybe that isn’t supposed to be my job . . . oh bummer, this woman is right!” Now I have a new view on my job description, though sometimes I miss my old job. I can’t wait to see what my new strategies will accomplish when it comes to lowering our spending, and (more importantly) pleasing my husband and letting him know that what’s important to him is important to me. I want to honor my husband with my spending, following the example given to us as women in Proverbs 31:

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10-11