iphone Archives - Marissa Henley

Why I Shrugged When I Saw My Shattered iPhone Screen

June 15, 2015 by Marissa 1 Comment

If the people walking behind me at camp last Saturday were paying attention, they probably thought I was really strange.

I was walking to the car with my son after picking him up from his first week at overnight camp. I had several things in my hands, and I dropped my iPhone on the pavement. I picked it up and saw that the screen was completely shattered. I shrugged, showed my son, and quietly said something like, “Oh. Bummer.” Then I calmly walked to the car like nothing had happened.

If I saw someone respond that way to a broken phone, I’d think they were either extremely easy-going, filthy rich or absolutely insane!

Here’s what any campers and parents who noticed the incident didn’t know: just one week earlier, my cellular service contract had expired. I was eligible for a phone upgrade at a discounted price, and I had my eye on a new iPhone 6. The night before, I asked my husband if I could get one, and he said I could! I planned to go pick one up that very week. When I saw the broken phone, I thought, “I get my new phone today!”

The expectation of a new phone caused me to respond to adversity in an unexpected way.

In a similar way, God’s promises enable His children to respond to suffering in unexpected ways. Christ’s victory over sin and sickness and sadness and death empowers us to face difficult circumstances without fear and despair.

When I was diagnosed with cancer as an almost-34-year-old mom of three young kids, I didn’t shrug my shoulders and say, “Oh, bummer,” and go on like nothing had happened. I was heartbroken. I was scared. But there was also a sense in which I was peaceful. I knew I could trust God’s plan for my life when my plans had been shattered.

I know that God is making all things new and that He will make all things new. He is currently making all things new as He walks with us through dark times and pours out His grace, comfort and peace. He is weaving our threads of suffering into a beautiful tapestry for His glory. And He will make all things new one day when we are with Him in new bodies and a new heaven and a new earth.

I am convinced that God’s promises are true. I am convinced that NOTHING can separate us from God’s love in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39). I praise God that I can cling to Him as my Rock when it feels like my whole world has been shattered (Isaiah 26:3-4).

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21:3-5

iPhone Detox Plan

May 21, 2012 by Marissa 3 Comments

Last week I wrote a confession about my iPhone addiction and how it is negatively impacting my parenting. Since then, I’ve struggled a bit with how to write this post about the changes I’ve made. I don’t want it to come across as boastful. “Look at me! I’m supermom! I’ve deleted all my fun apps, and so should you, or you’ll never be as great a mom as me!” This is not the statement I’m trying to make. One of my purposes for this blog is that it exalts the name of Jesus Christ, not me.

So I want to start by saying that these are some rules I have imposed on myself because this little rectangular screen has become an idol. Rules that I need because, despite spending months away from my kids battling a rare cancer that still threatens to take me from them someday, I often choose meaningless entertainment over spending these fleeting days and years wisely with the children whom God has entrusted to me.

Not exactly anything to boast about, right? I didn’t think so. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here is my iPhone Detox Plan.

Here’s a BEFORE shot of my iPhone:

I realized that every time I turn on my phone to make a call or answer a text, I see those tempting little numbers by my email or Facebook or Words With Friends. So reflexively, I tap to see who likes my status or how badly my grandmother is beating me at Words. (Embarrassing, but true.) Next thing I know, my six-year-old is talking to me, and I’m giving him the I’m-checking-facebook-and-pretending-to-be-listening-”uh-huh.”

(Side note: My six-year-old feels the need to tell me pretty much everything he thinks, all day long. Ten years from now, it will really come in handy if he still wants to do this. So I should probably PUT THE PHONE DOWN AND LISTEN NOW.)

To fight against these distracting little numbers, I decided to hide them on the third screen of my iPhone. This is what my home screen looks like now:

Very boring, right? I can call, text, look up a Bible verse, take a picture, check my calendar or to-do list, and renew library books. (Not that the Bible is boring. But you get the point.)

And if I want to browse Pinterest, check email, or play a game? I have to swipe all the way to the third screen and open a folder titled “Are Kids There?” How’s that for conviction?? These apps are all off-limits if my kids are around.

Here is the rest of my iPhone Detox Plan:

1. I’m not carrying my phone around in my pocket anymore. It stays on the kitchen counter, and I check it periodically. If someone needs something urgent, they can call my home phone. This eliminates the temptation to answer calls or texts while reading to my kids or to check email every five minutes when I get bored.

2. When I’m out with my kids, my phone stays in my purse. This applies to spending time with friends and date nights with Noel whenever possible. No more Pinterest at the park.

3. When I’m driving, my phone stays in my purse. My bluetooth lets me know if I get a call and who it’s from. I can even answer it hands-free if needed. No more texting at stoplights! I’ve asked my kids to hold me accountable on this one.

4. I’m trying to reduce talking on the phone while driving with my kids and spend that time chatting with them while I have a captive audience.

5. Unless it is a special situation, I am no longer answering call-waiting. The person I’m talking to is important and deserves my attention. (This doesn’t have anything to do with my kids or my iPhone. But it’s part of life in 1982 that I miss–the ability to talk to just one person at a time.)

6. My husband and I have decided that 6-8 p.m. will be phone-free and computer-free time in our home. We are not militant about it, but we are trying to be more aware and really devote those hours to spending time together as a family. I’m much more likely to read one more bedtime story if I know I can’t use my laptop for another 20 minutes anyway.

As I mentioned earlier, I have already broken these rules a few times. I’m amazed at how reflexively I reach for my back pocket, how often I wonder if I have any email, how I feel compelled to read every text message within five seconds of hearing that chime.

Let’s be honest. I am a housewife. None of my emails are urgent. But these kids are growing up at lightening speed, and in a few years, they won’t want to talk to me or play Monopoly with me or tell me every detail of the Magic Tree House book they just read. That’s the urgent stuff, and I want my minute-to-minute choices to reflect that.

If you have felt convicted about technology use or another distraction in your life, what changes are you making? Will you leave a comment and let me know?

To God be the glory.

“Hang Up and Drive”: Motherhood Edition

May 14, 2012 by Marissa 1 Comment

Hello, my name is Marissa, and I am an iPhone addict.

I’ve known something was not right for awhile now. I’ve tried putting away the laptop on the days my kids are home, but that didn’t seem to be enough. Then recently, a friend shared this post from Hands Free Mama on Facebook. Reading it was like getting hit in the gut. It’s got me thinking about how truly enslaved I am to my electronic devices, especially my iPhone.

“Enslaved? Really, Marissa? That’s a little overboard.”

But think about it . . .

Can you go out to lunch with a friend for an hour, put your phone in your purse on silent and not even think about checking it? Or do you worry that your husband might need something or your kid might puke at preschool?

Can you wait until you get ALL THE WAY home to check that text message, or do you grab your phone at the stoplight? And of course, once you’ve read it, can you really keep that person waiting 20 minutes until you reply?

Can you leave your phone in the car while you take your kids to the park? Or do you need something to entertain you while you sit on a bench or push them on the swings? (Of course, if you just got a text, they will have to wait for that push. You can’t push and text. I’ve tried.)

How many times have you jumped up from reading a book to your kids because your phone summoned you with it’s little chime?

A week ago, my answers to these questions were embarrassing. My eyes have been opened to my need for constant communication, my desire for interaction and entertainment, and the pressure I feel to be accessible to everyone at every moment. And my kids are paying the price.

If you are my age or older, you remember a time when we all had those devices with the spiral cords hanging on our walls at home. They didn’t have answering machines or call waiting or caller ID. If you wanted to talk to someone, and they were at the grocery store or outside getting their mail or already talking to someone else, you had to call back later.

My mom never worried that the world might fall apart while she was at the grocery store. She never had to make a decision about who was more important: the person she was already talking to, or the person calling in on call-waiting. When she took me to the park, she wasn’t checking Facebook or playing Words With Friends. She didn’t have a contact list of hundreds of interesting people she could chat with while she drove me around town.

I’m planning a throw-back to 1982, y’all. My kids deserve my full attention, and I don’t want to miss out on these years that they actually want to talk or play with me. I refuse to let this little screen rule my life.

Stay tuned for my iPhone detox plan . . .