grief Archives - Marissa Henley

God is With You {No Matter What Monday}

August 20, 2018 by Marissa Leave a Comment

Last Tuesday morning I opened my Facebook app and saw a post that stopped my casual stroll. It’s not the first time the cancer battle of a Facebook friend has ended in death. And sadly, it’s not even the first time I’ve learned the news by seeing a teenage daughter’s loving tribute to a mom she won’t see again this side of heaven.

I sat in stunned silence, praying for the grieving family as I absorbed the reality of their loss. Several minutes later, I saw another tribute for a young father who just passed away after a five-year cancer battle. On a morning when I planned to write a devotional on Psalm 23:4, I couldn’t avoid the reality that death is a pervasive part of life.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

This verse tells us that as we endure the pain of suffering, we have nothing to fear. Through our tears and our heartbreak, we can have confidence that Christ conquered cancer, sickness, death, and loss when He rose from the grave. We can say with the apostle Paul, “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” (1 Cor. 15:55).

The psalmist draws comfort from these four words: “You are with me.” We have peace in the midst of suffering because God is always with us and will never abandon us. There is nowhere we can flee from His presence (Ps. 139:9-10). We belong to Him, and He promises to always be with us (Isaiah 43:1-2). Just as the fourth man appeared with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the furnace, we never suffer alone (see Dan. 3).

Because our Shepherd, Jesus Christ, walked through death for us, we will never walk through death’s shadow alone. Because our Shepherd suffered for us, we can face suffering without fear. Because our Shepherd demonstrated His love for us on the cross, we have confidence that He will always be there to comfort us and will one day wipe away all our tears.

No matter what you face this week, God is with you in your suffering.

The Risen Christ Conquered Death {No Matter What Monday}

April 2, 2018 by Marissa Leave a Comment

I’ll never forget the look of joy on his little 3-year-old face when he heard the news. My first-born, Christopher, was eating breakfast at the kitchen table when he started asking questions about Jesus. He had heard repeatedly that Jesus had died on the cross for his sins. But apparently we had failed to mention one crucial piece of information – Jesus didn’t stay dead. When I mentioned that Jesus rose from the dead, his eyes grew wide and he exclaimed, “Jesus is ALIVE?!?” He clapped his hands exuberantly and shouted, “Yaaaaaay!”

It was such a joy to witness the moment my son first learned the good news of the resurrection. He realized for the first time that death didn’t win. Jesus isn’t still in the grave. He is risen!

But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep . . . “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (I Cor. 15:20 and 55, NIV)

Friend, this is good news: Jesus is alive! He isn’t just a suffering Savior who died in your place but a reigning King who conquered the power of death. Yes, He took the punishment for your sin and freed you from its guilt. But He also rose victorious over the ultimate enemy. We read in Revelation 1:18 that Jesus holds the keys to death and hades. Death has no power over Him.

Our risen Savior is the firstfruits of the resurrection. “Firstfruits” implies that there are more resurrection fruits to come! When He stepped out of the grave, He made a way for us to have new life in Him now and eternal life with Him forever. Death has no power over Him, and it also has no power over those of us who are in Christ.

And so even though we feel the pain and sting of death here temporarily, we can look at the empty grave and say with Paul, “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” Jesus Christ took the sting of death for us, so we wait eagerly for the day when we feel it no more.

No matter what you face this week, the risen Christ conquered death for us.

When You Don’t Have Any Answers {Guest post at (in)courage}

March 13, 2018 by Marissa Leave a Comment

Facebook is a terrible way to learn a friend has died.

A heavy feeling settled in my chest as my newsfeed swarmed with strangers writing messages to Julie about shared memories.

When I saw the first “RIP,” I crumpled into a mess of tears.

Julie and I met in the radiation waiting room at MD Anderson Cancer Center. In May 2011, I reported to Waiting Room J each weekday at my assigned time. It didn’t take long to recognize the familiar faces of those with similar appointment times.

Julie struck up a conversation with me during my second week of radiation. She was about my age and recognized me from the 9th floor Sarcoma Center waiting room. (Cancer demands a lot of time in waiting rooms.) Although she was clearly in pain from the growing tumor in her leg, her smile was brilliant, shining from a face adorned with a spunky, color-streaked wig.

We bonded quickly over the chemotherapy regimen we’d both endured and the experience of being moms with cancer. We shared our life stories and cancer stories, and I learned that while chemo caused my tumor to shrink like a snowball in a frying pan, Julie’s tumor grew steadily and ominously.

We celebrated the end of Julie’s radiation, and she stood proudly beside me as I rang the bell at the end of mine. We planned to see each other when I returned to Houston six weeks later for surgery. But by then, Julie was gone.

I never found out exactly how she died. When you make friends in a radiation waiting room you don’t know each other’s people. I never met her friends or family. I had no one to grieve with, no one to share common memories with, no one to answer my questions about her final days. Did she suffer? Did she die in the hospital? Did she have enough warning to say good-bye to her son? I’ll never know.

I shared this piece over at (in)courage . . . a beautiful community of women seeking connection with each other as they follow Christ. I’d love for you to head over there to read the rest of the piece about my struggle to trust God in an answer-less place.

While you’re there, check out their site and subscribe to their daily emails–they are such an encouragement to me!

Every Spiritual Blessing {No Matter What Monday}

September 11, 2017 by Marissa Leave a Comment

I’ve watched more news and Weather Channel footage in the past couple of weeks than I’ve seen in months. The devastation brought by Harvey and now by Irma is heartbreaking, shocking, and overwhelming. As I sit in my intact home in Arkansas, which will never see a hurricane, as I shop in grocery stores with fully-stocked shelves and pump gas from stations with higher prices but no long lines . . . I’m reminded of how blessed I am.

And yet, catastrophes such as hurricanes remind us that our material blessings—which are all gifts from God—can be taken from us. If the worst happened and disaster struck, would I still consider myself #blessed?

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 1:3)

My greatest blessings on are not on this earth. Yes, I love and cherish many of the gifts God has given me here—my family and friends, my home, my life. I grieve with those who suffer the loss of these precious gifts, and my purpose in sharing this verse isn’t to minimize or dismiss their pain.

But when we suffer loss or fear potential loss, Ephesians 1:3 reminds us that we have been blessed with something even greater than earthly blessings—we have been given every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.

These spiritual blessings are freely given, fully paid for, and forever secure.

They are freely given by God’s grace—since we didn’t earn them, our failures don’t cause us to lose them (Ephesians 2:8-9).

They have been fully paid for by Christ’s sacrifice (Romans 5:6-8, 8:1; 1 Peter 2:24).

They are forever secure, kept for us in heaven, where nothing can destroy them (Matthew 6:20, 1 Peter 1:4).

For the next few weeks, we are going to explore the spiritual blessings God gives us in Christ. I can’t wait to dig into Ephesians 1 with you and be encouraged by the blessings of God’s glorious grace.

No matter what you face this week, God has blessed you in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.