Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

God Will Give the Wisdom You Need {No Matter What Monday}

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Few things in life have driven me to the Lord in prayer more regularly than parenting tweens. (Of course, I haven’t parented teens yet!) Parenting has never been easy. But it feels like the older my kids get, the less I know. And our world is changing so quickly that there are few resources to draw from. The articles and books I read overwhelm me as I realize that every child is different, every school is different, every situation is different.

I have no idea how to do this.

I wish parenting were my only area of confusion. I’ve got other questions: How many hours should I spend on activities that take me away from my family? How much should we be saving for retirement? What’s the best way to support my husband when he faces challenges at work? How do I talk to my kids about current events and the brokenness of our culture? How do I support a friend who’s going through a difficult situation?

Maybe you have tough questions, too. Here’s the good news: God has answers, and He’s willing to share them.

Job 12:13: With God are wisdom and might; he has counsel and understanding.

James 1:5: If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

God is full of wisdom. He knows the hearts of our loved ones. He knows our circumstances. He knows what’s best for us. He knows it all.

And God is generous with His wisdom. He promises to give us the wisdom we need when we ask Him.

In which areas of your life do you need answers? Where have you turning for answers? Friends? The internet? Your own feelings? You have a deeper well of wisdom from which to draw—the unsearchable depth of the Lord’s wisdom.

No matter what you face this week, God will give the wisdom you need.

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Supporting a Friend With Cancer {A Series of Guest Posts}

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Do you have a go-to website for local information? If you live in my neck of the woods, you should know about www.nwamotherlode.com. It’s a fabulous resource for busy moms! Over the past few months, the sweet ladies at NWA Motherlode have allowed me to share articles with their readers about how to support a friend with cancer. Here are excerpts of the four posts and links to read more . . . go check them out!

Three Easy Ways to Support Your Friend Diagnosed With Cancer

Has this happened to you? Your phone buzzes, and you look down to see a call from a friend who’s expecting biopsy results.

The minute you hear her voice, you know: it’s cancer.

As you process your shock, sadness and fear, you wonder how you should walk this road with your friend. How will you support her as she endures treatment and survivorship? How will you avoid doing or saying the wrong thing? What does she need most?

I’ve gotten that phone call from a friend. I’ve also been the tearful voice on the other end of the line. In October 2010, I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called angiosarcoma.

I endured several months of chemotherapy, radiation and surgery, most of which took place at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. My besties kept my household running, meals showed up three times a week, and the prayers of thousands encouraged and sustained me.

I wish every cancer-fighter could feel as loved and supported as I was. But too often, friends lack confidence and hesitate to reach out with supportive words and actions. If you haven’t already had a friend face cancer, it’s likely you will.

When that phone call comes, here are three simple ways to love your friend through cancer . . . [Click here to read more]

 

 

Five Practical Ways to Serve a Friend With Cancer

In a previous post, we discussed three ways to support a friend with cancer. Your friend needs your constant encouragement throughout her cancer journey. She also needs your practical acts of service.

Being diagnosed with cancer is like landing an unexpected full-time job. The work seems unending, and the pay stinks! Your friend probably didn’t have much free time before her diagnosis. Now she’s going to spend half her time in doctors’ waiting rooms and the other half sleeping off the treatment she receives there.

In other words, she needs your help.

Here are some ideas to consider as you serve your friend through her cancer treatment . . .[Click here to read more]

 

 

Beyond the Casserole: How to Take a Meal to a Sick Friend like a Rock Star

In previous posts in this series, we’ve looked at ways to provide emotional support and practical service for a friend with cancer. Close, inner-circle friends will care for most emotional and logistical needs, but those in the outer circles also wonder how they can help.

Even if you aren’t besties with your friend who has cancer, you still have a role to play in her support network.

You have three responsibilities:

1. Pray.

2. Communicate support.

3. Bring food.

If you’ve been an adult for awhile, you’ve probably taken a meal to a new mom. But the needs of women with cancer are different. You’re not dropping in on a smiling (but exhausted) woman cradling a newborn—in fact, you may not see your friend with cancer at all when you deliver a meal. Your friend’s family may be receiving meals for several months, not just a few weeks. She may have strict dietary restrictions or preferences that need to be considered. When you take dinner, you have an opportunity to love your friend well and show your concern.

Here are some ideas for those who want to take a meal like a rock star . . . [Click here to read more]

 

Why Your Cancer-Surviving Friend Still Needs You (And How You Can Help)

I’ve lived through the scene several times: I sit across from a cancer survivor who recently finished treatment. We wrap our hands around our lattes and lean in close so the guy in the next booth won’t hear our discussion of post-mastectomy life.

And then she says, “Everyone around me thinks I’m better. They’ve all moved on. But I’m not okay. I need my friends to understand I’m still struggling.”

If you’re friends with a cancer survivor, she still needs you. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind as you support her through her survivorship . . . [Click here to read more]

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“When Your Friend Has Cancer” ~ Check out this guest post!

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When your friend has cancer (1)Today I’m thankful for an opportunity to share on my husband’s cousin’s blog. Lisa Lloyd is a writer, actor, speaker, and upcoming author. We are eagerly awaiting the release of her first book! In the meantime, she writes inspiring, heartfelt words on faith, forgiveness and motherhood.

 

Here’s a preview of my post on her website. Check it out and read some of Lisa’s posts while you’re there!

 

Five years ago, I was a young mom of three when I first heard the words: “It’s cancer.” I was standing alone in my bedroom, but I wasn’t alone for long.

 

Within hours, a few family members and friends came over and joined me in my shock and grief. The next day—my 34th birthday—a larger group of friends gathered for a surprise birthday party full of tearful prayers. And over the coming months, a multitude of supporters sustained our family with love, prayers and service.

 

My battle against angiosarcoma, a rare and aggressive cancer with a grim prognosis, involved months of high-dose chemotherapy, a clinical trial at MD Anderson Cancer Center, radiation, and surgery. I spent 14 weeks away from my family receiving treatment in Houston and fighting to see my children grow up.

 

Our logistical, emotional and spiritual needs seemed overwhelming. And yet, God met all of our needs, often through our friends’ sacrificial service. My friends loved us so well that I’ve written a book to share my friends’ example with other women and equip them to support their friends with cancer.

 

I hope that you never need to know how to love a friend through cancer. But it’s likely that at some point, you will. So here are a few tips I learned from my friends about how to support someone with cancer.

 

Finish reading on Lisa’s blog by clicking here! 

 

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10 Ways to Pray for Your Friend with Cancer

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10 ways to pray

(The following is an excerpt from my book, Loving Your Friend Through Cancer.)

During one of the most difficult times in my treatment for cancer, my friend Sarah had a dream that she shared with me. Here is her description of the dream, in her own words:

“We were in a very large cathedral-style church. The pews were packed with people, some I recognized from church, but many I did not recognize at all. Everyone was praying and writing. They were writing their prayers. At the front of the church the stage was some sort of hospital room and you were lying on a table with doctors and nurses bustling around you. I talked to one woman who said, ‘I don’t know Marissa personally, but I’m honored to be here to pray for her.’ I was amazed at the outpouring of prayer for you and your healing. Everyone was giving you their prayers after they wrote them down as they left the church. I peeked at some of the letters and they all began with praise to God by worshiping his Name (mighty God, everlasting Father, omniscient, all-powerful, etc., just like we’ve learned from Isaiah). SO AWESOME.”

Her dream was an encouragement to me at a time of intense struggle and sorrow, because I knew it accurately depicted what was happening before the throne of the almighty God. Thousands of people were interceding on my behalf, including many I have never met. I regularly received cards from strangers saying they were praying for me. I received dozens of small yellow postcards from the prayer room of a church in Tennessee, letting me know someone had prayed for me. I still don’t know who put my name on that prayer list in Tennessee, but I am thankful.

Nothing is as powerful as bringing your friend before the throne of her creator and redeemer. Interceding on her behalf before the Lord of the universe is one of the greatest gifts you can give her. Long after the doctors tell her she’s cancer-free, keep your friend on your list for frequent prayer. And if the Lord calls your friend home to heaven, keep fervently praying for her loved ones.

Let your friend know you are praying for her on a regular basis. But please don’t just say it flippantly—do it! Your prayers for your friend not only benefit her as you intercede for her, but they will also benefit you as the Lord works in your heart in the midst of your own grief.

Pray for healing for your friend, of course. But don’t stop there. Here are some additional ways to pray for your friend.

  1. Pray for her to feel the closeness of the Lord as he strengthens, sustains, and comforts her (Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 62:1-2, Psalm 63:5-8).
  2. Pray for wisdom for friends and family members to support and encourage her in ways she needs the most (James 1:5).
  3. Pray against the feeling of isolation—physically, emotionally, and spiritually (Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 13:5b, Psalm 42, Psalm 56:8).
  4. Pray for wisdom in making medical decisions so that the patient, family members, and doctors will not have any regrets (Psalm 112:7-8).
  5. If she’s married, pray for God to strengthen her marriage and deepen her connection with her husband, and that she will look to the Lord to meet her needs when her husband falls short (Ephesians 5:22-23).
  6. Pray that she would develop a deep and abiding trust in the Lord, not placing her hope in a particular outcome, but wholly in God’s character—his sovereignty, goodness, and faithfulness to her specifically in this situation (Isaiah 43, Jeremiah 31:3, Romans 8:38-39).
  7. Pray that she will feel free to ask for help and support when she needs it, claiming the promise that God will meet all her needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
  8. Pray for joy and peace as she grieves the loss of her health and her “before cancer” expectations for her life, and that she will not be anxious about the future (Romans 15:13, Lamentations 3:21-24, Philippians 4:6-8).
  9. Pray that she will not waste her suffering, but be transformed and sanctified through the experience of suffering for God’s glory (Romans 8:28-29, Romans 12:1-2).
  10. Pray that God will prepare her to comfort others with the comfort she is now receiving (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

You’ve just read one of the chapters of my book, Loving Your Friend Through Cancer.  Want to learn more?

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