Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

Sharing God’s Story ~ Guest post at Over A Cup

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Henley family 2011“I’ll be a little disappointed if this lump isn’t cancer,” I told my husband after returning home from Bible study in October 2010. In that evening’s lesson on Isaiah 12, our teacher exhorted us to glorify God in front of a watching world by trusting him in the midst of suffering. As I scribbled notes furiously, I couldn’t help thinking of the biopsy I had scheduled for later in the week. My faithful Father was preparing me for the outcome by showing me His purpose in suffering: That His name would be glorified by my dependence on Him and continued praise of His character.

Less than a week later, I received a diagnosis of angiosarcoma, a rare and aggressive cancer with a five-year survival rate of 30%. I was a busy mom of three young kids—my boys were 6 and 4, and my baby girl was 18 months old. I had expected to grow old with my husband and see my kids grow into adulthood. And suddenly, I was fighting to see my 35th birthday.

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I’m grateful for the opportunity to share the story of God’s faithfulness in my life at Over A Cup today. Click over there to finish reading!

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God Can Be Trusted {No Matter What Monday}

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He who did not spare

 

No matter what we face this week, God can be trusted.

 

Os Guiness writes, “Christians do not say, ‘I do not understand you at all, but I trust you anyway.’ Rather we say, ‘I do not understand you in this situation, but I understand why I trust you anyway.’”

 

Can you say that? Do you understand why you trust God even when you don’t understand what He’s doing?

 

God has proved His trustworthiness in many ways—in our lives, in His Word, and in history. The ultimate demonstration of His trustworthiness was the Cross. God made the greatest sacrifice to meet our greatest need: He gave His Son for the salvation of sinners. He proved that He will go to any lengths necessary to meet the needs of His beloved children. Therefore, we can trust Him.

 

Our trust wanes and falters at times, doesn’t it? I know mine does! I’m thankful that my hope is in God’s unchangeable character, not my own fickle faith.

 

We may not trust perfectly or even feel like trusting at all. But we can cling to our understanding of God’s character, even when we don’t understand our circumstances.

 

He who did not spare his own son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 

Romans 8:32

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One Year Ago

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One year ago today, I was a busy and exhausted mom of three young kids.  I had absolutely no interesting medical history, and my idea of physical suffering was vomiting during my otherwise-perfectly-normal pregnancies.  I was consumed with taking care of my kids, preparing to host a baby shower for some friends, starting my Christmas shopping, and balancing my various church and community responsibilities.  It is still strange for me to look back at that version of myself, cruising through life with no way of knowing what was coming.

In the past year, I experienced God’s sustaining power and faithfulness in a new way.  I learned that my family and friends are incredible.  I benefited from the generosity of so many people, both old friends and strangers who became new friends.  I developed a greater appreciation for my husband and children.  I gained a new perspective on being intentional with my time and being thankful for what God has given.  I learned that God can be trusted, even when the outcome isn’t what we would have chosen.  His ways are perfect.

In the past year, I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer that I had never heard of until the doctor called me with the diagnosis.  I flew to Houston twelve times, spending about 14 weeks away from my children.  I received seven rounds of high-dose chemotherapy and twenty-five radiation treatments.  I had surgery (which turned out to be the easiest of all of it).  I had six CT scans and countless blood draws and several transfusions.  I spent weeks with virtually no white blood cells or platelets.  I watched my kids open their birthday gifts via webcam and cried many, many tears.

In short, it was the most difficult year of my life and the most amazing year of my life.

After almost a year of blogging on Caring Bridge, it is good to be back at my old bloggy stomping grounds.  Did I really have a Caring Bridge site?  Did I really have cancer?  It still seems surreal.  But October is bringing back a lot of memories.  The memories can be painful to process, but the overwhelming theme of my reflections on the past year is God’s faithfulness.  He kept His promise to never leave us or forsake us, and we saw that He works all things for our good and for His glory.  Therefore, we can trust Him no matter what the future holds.

Isaiah 43:1b-2:  Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.  When you pass though the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  

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Climbing Rainbows

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Our sermon last Sunday was on Genesis 9, in which God makes a covenant with Noah after the flood.  Our pastor pointed out that the rainbow was not a sign for Noah to remember God’s promise.  Rather, it was a sign for God to remember His promise:  “When I bring the clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh.  And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh” (Genesis 9:14-15).  It would do us no good to remember God’s promise if God Himself was not faithful to His promise.  The rainbow reminds us that God will always remember His promise, and His remembering is powerful.  Although we deserve another flood–our sin as individuals and as a human race is certainly deserving of God’s wrath–God has promised to not give us what we deserve, but rather to show us mercy by not destroying us with a flood.

Our pastor talked about one of my favorite hymns, “O Love That Will Not Let Me Go.”  In the third verse (my favorite), it says:

O joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee;

I trace the rainbow through the rain, and feel the promise is not vain,

that morn shall tearless be.

He said that George Matheson, who wrote the words, originally wrote “I climb the rainbow through the rain,” but the words had been changed.  He talked about how when we are in stormy waters in our life, we don’t need to simply glance up at the sky, see God’s rainbow and have happy feelings.  (I’m paraphrasing here, hoping I’m accurately depicting his point.)  When the waves rage around us, we need to climb out, grasping onto the sure promises of God.  We can trust God’s mercy.  He is faithful to keep all His promises.  We can climb the rainbow in the rain and know the promise is not vain–tearless days are ahead in Heaven, if not in this life.  We may still be in the rain, but His joy will not leave us when we are holding tight to Him.

Here is a link to “O Love That Will Not Let Me Go” sung by one of my favorite groups, Indelible Grace, as well as the full lyrics  by George Matheson:

1. O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe, That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

2. O light that followest all my way, I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray, That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

3. O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain, And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

4. O Cross that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead, And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

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