Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

“Calm My Anxious Heart”–Greed

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I read Linda Dillow’s chapter in Calm My Anxious Heart on greed several weeks ago and have been mulling it over in my mind ever since. Several things stood out to me:

  • Everything I have belongs to God. (More on this below.)
  • The main issue is the condition of my heart. Am I content or always wanting more? (See Matthew 6:19-21–where is your treasure?).
  • No one can serve two masters–whom do I serve? Am I so busy taking care of my stuff that I don’t have time to serve God and His church?
  • Possessions are to be used for God’s kingdom, not gripped tightly or adored. What am I holding on to too tightly? Or what daydreams about possessions consume my day? How can I better use what God has given me to serve Him?
  • “God can rid your heart of greed, but it is your responsibility to remove yourself from situations that promote greediness . . . stand in your house and look around. Where does greed have hold of you?” (p. 97) For me, this means throwing out catalogs as soon as I walk in from the mailbox (when does looking through the Pottery Barn catalog ever lead to feelings of contentment?!?), limiting the time I spend browsing through the mall, and being careful about spending time with people who cause me to be tempted in this area.
  • “Listen to your heart. Listen to your words. Look at your actions. Are you teaching your children to be grateful for God’s blessings?” (Sorry, don’t have the page number for this, and my book is currently in Europe. I wish I was with it.)

The most striking thing for me in this chapter was when she talked about everything we have belonging to God, and therefore, the question is not “how much will I give?” but “how much should I keep?” If I adopt this “How much should I keep?” attitude, it radically transforms how I view my finances. Back when we were barely making it financially, prioritizing our spending was easy–pay taxes, 10% to God, keep the rest to pay our bills, thank you very much. But now that there is more than what we need for the bare necessities of food, clothes and shelter, things seem so much more complicated.

What does God want me to keep His money for, and what does He want me to do without so I can keep less and give more? Does He want me to keep enough for a new car or an old one? Does He want me to keep His money so my kids can have clothes from children’s boutiques or Target? Does God want me to use some of His money for an XM radio subscription so I can listen to commercial-free 80’s music? (I had totally rationalized the relatively small XM radio expense until I thought about it this way.)

Now that I think about it, it isn’t complicated. I just don’t like the answer. It seems clear to me that God wants me to use some of His money to provide what our family needs, to create special memories with our kids, and for Noel and I having time alone together to strengthen our marriage. I hope God doesn’t mind my spending His money on the safest minivan money can buy (but He probably doesn’t need the sunroof), and I hope that someday He’ll let me keep enough to pay someone to clean my house (if I use the time to glorify Him by serving others and/or educating my kids).

But God probably doesn’t want me wasting His money on things that only glorify me, and that is where most of it goes. He isn’t concerned with what others think of my home decor, my purse, my clothes or my shoes. He doesn’t care if my kids have real crocs or generic ones. (I’m embarrassed to admit that I do care and went to great lengths to buy generics that look the most like the real ones. Kid shoes!! What am I thinking?!?) He’d probably like for me to realize how much eating out is an idol for me and how I shouldn’t be so lazy that I spend His money on Chick-Fil-A anytime I don’t feel like making a sandwich.

A disclaimer in case you’re still reading . . . I don’t think there is anything inherently sinful about children’s boutiques, crocs, new cars (in the interest of full disclosure, I drive a 2008 Odyssey with sunroof), Chick-Fil-A, or XM radio. It’s just that greed is an area in which the Holy Spirit is relentlessly working on me, and He is convicting me about several areas in which I am wasteful with God’s money. If you are seeking God’s wisdom pertaining to your finances, and He provides the money for you to have an XM radio subscription, you will not receive judgment from me . . . and enjoy singing along to some Chicago for me, will you?

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Whose clothes are you wearing?

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In last week’s BSF lesson, we read Matthew 22:1-14, the parable of the wedding feast. In this parable, Jesus is comparing the kingdom of heaven to a wedding feast. The king (God) invites many to this royal event, but they are too busy with other concerns to attend, and even kill the servants who came with the invitation. The king then invites others who fill the banquet hall. Then one man shows up without the proper wedding garment and is thrown into the outer darkness.

If you read this passage without the larger context of the rest of Scripture, it may sound as though God invites people to the wedding, and if you can’t manage to get the right clothes on, you will be cast out. However, our lesson pointed us to other relevant passages of Scripture:

Isaiah 64:6

We have all become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.

Isaiah 61:10

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness.

The first verse tells us that our best deeds are only like a polluted garment, or as the NIV says, like filthy rags. But the second verse shows us how we get the proper wedding garment–from God Himself, who clothes us with the garments of salvation and the robe of righteousness.

How do we get this garment of salvation from God? How can filthy rags be exchanged for a robe of righteousness? 1 Peter 2:24 tells us “He [Christ] himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” And Philippians 3:8b-9 says, “in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.”

Christ wore our filthy rags on the cross. And God takes Christ’s robe of righteousness and puts it on us. My own fanciest wedding garment cannot get me into the kingdom of heaven. God requires a robe of righteousness, and He supplies it in Christ. If you are in Christ, when God looks at you, He does not see your own record of good deeds and bad. He sees Christ’s perfection, Christ’s righteousness.

So the question is: Whose clothes are you wearing? It is a question I am asking myself and that I need to be asking my kids as they grow in faith. Are we living as though we have been given a garment of salvation, living in obedience out of gratitude to God? Or do we think we can keep wearing our own clothes, working as hard as we can to keep them clean and hoping it will be good enough? I think this distinction is crucial to my kids’ understanding of the Gospel. I’d love to hear thoughts from anyone on how to make sure our kids understand this important truth.

From one of my favorite hymns, “How Much I Owe,” words by Robert Murray McCheyne:

When I stand before the throne, dressed in beauty not my own,

when I see Thee as Thou art, love Thee with unsinning heart,

then, Lord shall I fully know, not ’til then how much I owe.

Chosen not for good in me, wakened up from wrath to flee,

hidden in the Savior’s side, by the Spirit sanctified,

then, Lord shall I full know, not ’til then how much I owe.

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The Resurrection

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This post is a little late in getting written, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the Resurrection of Christ. I often think about the Cross, but before last week, I hadn’t spent much time thinking about how different my life would be if Christ hadn’t risen from the dead. What if my college professors were right, and the Resurrection is just a metaphor, an encouraging story about the peace and joy God brings to our lives? What if Christ did not literally die, lie in a tomb for three days, and then rise again and appear to the disciples before ascending into Heaven?

If there is no Resurrection, there is no eternal life. There is eternity, for our souls will last forever, but not eternity with God. As my pastor said on Sunday, without the Resurrection, there is only eternal grief.

If there is no Resurrection, this world is all we have. There are no treasures in Heaven, nothing beyond what we can store up for ourselves in this life. So I better focus on making this life as good as it can be.

If there is no Resurrection, this world is a chaotic, depressing, fallen place without any hope that God has won over sin, evil, and death. You live, try to avoid as much pain as possible, and then die.

If there is no Resurrection, then Christians are to be pitied, because we are following a dead guy, a prophet who spoke inspiring words but was powerless at the hand of human soldiers.

Praise God that the Resurrection is a reality! God has conquered sin, evil, and death. As my kids’ Jesus Storybook Bible says, God is making everything sad, even death, untrue. While we still live in a fallen world, we have hope. God is in control, He has already won, and those who are in Christ will spend eternity with Him.

If the Resurrection is true, how should I respond? It proves that Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God, and therefore deserving of my faith, praise, and devotion. It compels me to have an eternal perspective, knowing that this world is not my true home. It should instill unending gratitude that Christ bore the punishment for all my sin and conquered death and hell for me.

One of my favorite songs from our church in Indianapolis describes the impact of the Resurrection so well. Please spend time reading the words and/or click here to listen (wait for it to load and then click play):

Praise the Savior now and ever; praise him, all beneath the skies;
Prostrate lying suffʹring, dying on the cross, a sacrifice.
Victʹry gaining, life obtaining, now in glory he doth rise.

Manʹs work faileth, Christʹs availeth; he is all our righteousness;
He, our Savior, has forever set us free from dire distress.
Through his merit we inherit light and peace and happiness.

Sinʹs bond severed, weʹre delivered; Christ has bruised the serpentʹs head;

Death no longer is the stronger, hell itself is captive led.
Christ has risen from deathʹs prison; oʹer the tomb he light has shed.

For his favor, praise forever unto God the Father sing;
Praise the Savior, praise him ever, Son of God, our Lord and King.
Praise the Spirit; through Christʹs merit he doth us salvation bring.

 

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Obedience

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Disclaimer: This post is about my being obedient to what God is calling me to do for my children’s education. I do not mean to imply that everyone else should make the same decision that we are with regard to schools. Even if you live near me and are weighing the same options, I do not know what God is calling you to do or what is best for your family. I do not think it is wrong or unwise or selfish for other families to choose public school for their kids if that is where God calls them to be. In fact, I don’t think it would be good for all Christian families to flee from public schools. So as long as you promise not to take it the wrong way, read on . . .

Ever since Christopher hit the terrible twos, I have been looking forward to kindergarten. I imagined I would not be one of those weepy moms on the first day of kindergarten–I would be the one giving high-fives on the way to my minivan, embracing the well-deserved time I would have during the school day. Over a year ago, I learned about an educational option in our area that threatened that dream . . . a classical Christian academy that operates on the university model, which means the students attend school two days a week and do school at home the other three days. When I first heard about it, I thought, “no way–I am NOT a homeschooling mom!” After talking with other moms and hearing more about it, even before we moved here, I reluctantly prayed (just once) that God would change my heart if this was what He wanted us to do.

As the months passed, I was horrified to see that God did change my heart. I’ve always loved the classical education concept but continued to struggle with the two-day-a-week issue. But I started to see the many advantages of having my kids home those additional days–leisurely mornings, bonding time with their siblings, time for family worship, Scripture memory and the other things we want to teach them, etc. God even brought another family into our lives–now they are our close friends–who live in our neighborhood and are planning to send their children there as well (hooray for carpooling!). But in my flesh, I was not willing to commit.

Last Tuesday, after another “snow” (meaning there’s a little bit on the grass and the roads are a little slick) day at home and a frustrating attempt to teach Christopher handwriting, I sat Noel down for a little chat. Actually, it was more like a tirade. I told him that I needed those 5 days to myself. I’m just not cut out for homeschooling. I don’t know if it is a personality difference or if those moms who can do it are just more godly than me, but I’m in the Word and praying every day and just don’t know what else I can do! Basically, I told him that I knew it is what’s best for our kids, but I didn’t know if I could do it.

Then I went to BSF on Wednesday. (You see where this is going, right?) We were studying Matthew 19, talking about marriage, little children, and the rich young ruler. I settled in for a lecture that would make me feel really good about being married for 9 years and being certain I’ll never be divorced. The first words out of the teaching leader’s mouth were, “God will not tolerate selfishness. He will call you to give up yourself . . .” I’m sure there was more to that sentence, but I can’t remember. That was all it took for me to realize that God intended that message for me and for our school decision. Because I have known for months now what God wants me to do. I just didn’t want to give up something that has become an idol in my life: my time alone to do what I want to do. God is calling me to give that up for a season of my life to help educate my kids.

The rest of the lecture consisted of God making sure I hadn’t missed His message. Our teaching leader talked about bringing children to Christ, and how God will probably ask you to give something up in order to bring children to Him. She talked about the rich young ruler who was following all the rules, but in order to truly follow Christ, he had to give up that which was the most important to him. He wasn’t willing to do it, and he went away sad (and most importantly, without a relationship with Christ which leads to eternal life). I saw how much I am like the rich young ruler–I live a moral, religious life, but I want to hold on to certain aspects of my life and my selfish desires. Then after the lecture, I heard two moms of school-age children talking about how there’s just not time in their day for their family to worship or read the Bible together. By the time it was over, I wanted to shout, “Okay, Lord! I get it!”

So I have decided to obey. I have decided to trust God to provide what I need to follow this call and will ask for continued wisdom to make sure it is the right decision. It still hurts a little to sacrifice some things I want and to do something that most of society will find strange, but there is relief, peace and freedom in obedience.

As I continue to contemplate what happened last week, it occurred to me that I cannot think of another instance where I made a conscious decision to obey God in spite of my own selfish desires–just for the sake of obedience, not out of fear of disappointing others or some other consequence. I’m a little scared that for the past 31 years, I’ve been ignoring what He wants me to do and doing whatever I want to do. I’m enough of a rule-follower that my external behavior looks obedient, but I want to make sure I’m being obedient in the gray areas, the tough decisions, the more private heart matters. I encourage you to examine your heart for areas of disobedience. Ask God to show you areas in your life where you are following your own selfish desires . . . but make sure you’re ready, because if you ask Him, He’ll do it!

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