Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

What Not to Say {Guest post for Servants of Grace}

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I spent most of my young adult years quoting Romans 8:28 to friends and family who were suffering. This promise from God’s Word has always been one of my favorite verses: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (ESV). For years, the truth of God’s sovereignty over all circumstances has been a rock I can cling to, no matter what life brings. I’ve often wielded this truth like a sword when I felt that someone might be slipping in their trust as they walked through suffering.

Then I was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive cancer called angiosarcoma the day before my 34thbirthday. I had three young children—ages 6, 4, and 18 months—and the prognosis wasn’t encouraging. As I walked through the months of intense treatment and years of uncertainty which followed, I treasured the truth of God’s sovereignty even more than before. But hearing others tell me “God has a plan” didn’t bring comfort in my pain.

I’m not alone in feeling this way. In fact, when I talk to cancer patients and survivors about the unhelpful words they’ve heard from friends, sentiments like “God has a plan” and “God uses everything for good” top the list. Every single cancer survivor I know has heard these words from friends. We’re saying it often, but it’s failing to provide comfort to our friends with cancer.

I’d love for you to read more in an article I wrote for Servants of Grace. Click here to read the article – I hope it encourages you!

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Navigating Christmas When a Family Member Faces Cancer {Guest post for enCourage}

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I met my sister-in-law for the first time while receiving a blood transfusion on Christmas Eve. My brother brought her home for Christmas while she was still his girlfriend and I was two months into a battle with a rare cancer called angiosarcoma.

They came to the hospital as soon as they arrived in town, and I’ll admit—it was a little awkward. I wanted to show interest in this woman who had stolen my baby brother’s heart. I craved connection with her and with my brother, too.

But as the bag of blood dripped into the central line in my chest, I realized I had no emotional energy to give to my visitors. I was fatigued by the chemo, discouraged by bad news I had received a few days before, and wondering if this would be my last Christmas with my husband and young children. The year before, my husband’s sister had battled breast cancer during the holidays. So I knew from experience that when cancer meets Christmas, it’s difficult for everyone.

If you’re a family member of someone battling cancer this year, you’ve probably already been affected by your loved one’s diagnosis and treatment. You may wonder or even worry about how to handle the impacts of this tough situation during the holidays. I’ve been the one who is sick, and I’ve also been the family member wondering how to respond. I’d love to walk alongside you with a few suggestions.

You can read the rest of this post over on the enCourage blog of the PCA Women’s Ministry. Share

Loving a Friend Who’s Suffering {Guest appearance – By Faith podcast}

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This week I had the honor of being a guest on Christine Hoover’s By Faith podcast. She’s finishing a fabulous season on friendship, and I hope you’ll go check out all her episodes! We had a great chat about God’s faithfulness to me in the midst of cancer and how we can support friends who are suffering. I hope you’ll go check it out!Share

Does God Still Love Me? {Guest post at Women Encouraged}

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I’m honored to be sharing over at Women Encouraged today. If you don’t already follow their blog and listen to their podcast, you are missing out! They serve their readers and listeners with such solid, life-giving content each week, and I definitely recommend that you check them out!

Here’s a preview of today’s post . . .

My daughter’s dark brown eyes stared up at me from her bed, just above the bright floral comforter pulled up to her chin. She tried to sound casual as she asked her pressing bedtime questions: “Mom, which one of us do you love the most? Do you love Will more than me?”

Minutes earlier, as my daughter waited for me to tuck her in, she watched me stop in the hallway and comfort her hurting brother. The questions swirled in her mind: Does Mom still love me? Does she love my brother more?

I tell my daughter I love her and prove it with my actions every day. I meet her basic needs, shower her with hugs and kisses, engage in activities she loves, and frequently put her desires ahead of my own. This little girl knows she is loved.

And yet, when her brother’s needs delayed me for a couple of minutes, my daughter began to doubt my love for her. She questioned a basic truth that had been proven to her every day for seven years.

Her doubts sound a little too familiar.

What truth can we cling to when we begin to doubt God’s love? Read more here!Share