Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

One Year Ago

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One year ago today, I was a busy and exhausted mom of three young kids.  I had absolutely no interesting medical history, and my idea of physical suffering was vomiting during my otherwise-perfectly-normal pregnancies.  I was consumed with taking care of my kids, preparing to host a baby shower for some friends, starting my Christmas shopping, and balancing my various church and community responsibilities.  It is still strange for me to look back at that version of myself, cruising through life with no way of knowing what was coming.

In the past year, I experienced God’s sustaining power and faithfulness in a new way.  I learned that my family and friends are incredible.  I benefited from the generosity of so many people, both old friends and strangers who became new friends.  I developed a greater appreciation for my husband and children.  I gained a new perspective on being intentional with my time and being thankful for what God has given.  I learned that God can be trusted, even when the outcome isn’t what we would have chosen.  His ways are perfect.

In the past year, I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer that I had never heard of until the doctor called me with the diagnosis.  I flew to Houston twelve times, spending about 14 weeks away from my children.  I received seven rounds of high-dose chemotherapy and twenty-five radiation treatments.  I had surgery (which turned out to be the easiest of all of it).  I had six CT scans and countless blood draws and several transfusions.  I spent weeks with virtually no white blood cells or platelets.  I watched my kids open their birthday gifts via webcam and cried many, many tears.

In short, it was the most difficult year of my life and the most amazing year of my life.

After almost a year of blogging on Caring Bridge, it is good to be back at my old bloggy stomping grounds.  Did I really have a Caring Bridge site?  Did I really have cancer?  It still seems surreal.  But October is bringing back a lot of memories.  The memories can be painful to process, but the overwhelming theme of my reflections on the past year is God’s faithfulness.  He kept His promise to never leave us or forsake us, and we saw that He works all things for our good and for His glory.  Therefore, we can trust Him no matter what the future holds.

Isaiah 43:1b-2:  Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.  When you pass though the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  

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My New Assignment

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I haven’t addressed on this blog where I’ve disappeared to, so I thought in case anyone is reading who doesn’t know, I should update you.  On October 25, I was diagnosed with angiosarcoma, a rare cancer in the blood vessels of my breast.  Two days later, we found out the great news that the PET scan did not show any signs of the cancer spreading.  I am be treated at MD Anderson but having chemo right now in my hometown.  After several months of chemo, I will have radiation and surgery in Houston at MD Anderson.

I know without a doubt that God has been preparing me for this difficult assignment, especially in the last couple of years and months.  My prayer is not only for complete healing, but also that the Lord will be glorified as my family and I walk through this trial.  You can follow my journey at my Caring Bridge site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/marissahenley.

God is good, and He is the same yesterday, today and forever!

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Prayer Binder: Confession

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For an introduction to my prayer binder, click here.  For the post on the Adoration section, click here.

For those of you who just came to this post hoping for a photo of the inside of the confession section, forget it!

Ah, good old confession.  It’s just about enough to make us want to throw that whole ACTS thing out the window, right?  But one thing I’ve been learning lately is that the Christian life is a life of ongoing repentance.  So this might be one of the most important aspects of prayer.  I think it’s important to remember that we not only need to actively confess the sin that we’re aware of, but also take time to be quiet, asking the Holy Spirit to prick our hearts and show us the sin we have been ignoring.

The confession section of my prayer binder is simple.  It is a page where I have listed patterns of sin that I struggle with the most often, such as materialism, pride, selfishness, lack of self-control, envy, discontentment, and anxiety.  I pray through the list, focusing on things I am currently struggling with the most, and then asking God to show me if there’s anything new I need to jot down.

At the top and bottom of my confession page, I have two very important reminders.  They are quotes from Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions (page 74).  At the top of the page, I have written:

“Thy blood is the blood of incarnate God, its worth infinite, its value beyond all thought.  Infinite must be the evil and guilt that demands such a price . . . “

At the bottom of the page, I have written:

” . . . yet thy compassions yearn over me, thy heart hastens to my rescue, thy love endured my curse, thy mercy bore my deserved stripes.”

I love these daily reminders of two very important truths.  First, that my sin is serious.  Christ’s blood is infinite in value.  And that was the price demanded by my worry, my pride, my selfishness, my discontentment.  These are not small issues.

Second, that Christ paid the price for my sin so that I can stand righteous before a Holy God.  God Himself worked in history to secure my rescue.  In light of the ways I rebel against His Word every day, this is truly amazing grace.

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A Biblical Gospel – Radical, chapter 2

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Click here and scroll down to read my other posts on David Platt’s book, Radical.

Are you believing the gospel as it is described in God’s Word, or are you believing an Americanized version?  This is the poignant question posed to readers in chapter two of Radical. Many of us have bought into a watered-down, Americanized false gospel, and therefore, we have a watered-down, Americanized response to Christ’s call to discipleship.

When my grandpa was in seminary, he was asked to write a paper on the chief attribute of God.  He wrote a wonderful essay on God’s love.  And he received a big fat F.  Grandpa wouldn’t mind my sharing this story–he loved to tell it–to illustrate the trap that so many Christians fall into.  Is God loving?  Absolutely.  There are countless verses in Scripture where God tells us how much He loves His people.  The problem comes when we stop at God’s love without looking at the whole of what Scripture says about God.  God’s Word tells us that He is the sovereign Creator, the Holy Judge who must deal justly with sin.  My grandpa’s seminary professor said that God’s chief attribute is His holiness–His purity and righteousness that makes Him God and us not God.  Are we willing to give as much weight to John 3:36 as we do to John 3:16?

As Platt writes, “The gospel reveals eternal realities about God that we would sometimes rather not face.  We prefer to sit back, enjoy our cliches, and picture God as a Father who might help us, all the while ignoring God as Judge who might damn us . . . We are afraid that if we stop and really look at God in his Word, we might discover that he evokes greater awe and demands deeper worship than we are ready to give him” (p. 29).

Platt asserts that we must also face what the biblical gospel says about who we are in relation to God.  Here’s a pop quiz:

True or false?

1.  “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.  Therefore, follow these steps, and you can be saved.” (Radical, p. 32)

2.  “You are an enemy of God, dead in your sin, and in your present state of rebellion, you are not even able to see that you need life, much less to cause yourself to come to life.  Therefore, you are radically dependent on God to do something in your life that you could never do.”  (Radical, p. 32)

The first is what is being proclaimed in many churches all over this country.  It leads to complacency, entitlement, and the expectation that God will fix all my problems and make me happy.

The second is what God’s Word says about our human condition.  It leads to wholehearted devotion of our entire life to a God who came to us, to redeem us from the pit of our sin and make us righteous in His sight.  It causes overflowing gratitude and commitment to our Creator who poured out the wrath we deserve on His sinless Son.  In Platt’s words, “Surely this gospel evokes unconditional surrender of all that we are and all that we have to all that he is” (p. 37).

Which gospel are you believing?  And how will you respond?

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