Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

You are a survivor, too!

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Lately I’ve been having a difficult time bringing up cancer to people who don’t know what’s happened in the last year.  I’ve been thinking about it a lot, because I might go wig-free sometime this month, and there are going to be some unsuspecting people in my life who are in for a shock!  What will I say when they say something about my new “haircut,” and I know they’re really wondering why it is an oddly different color and super-short and curly?? (We’re all wondering about the curly part!  Thank you, Adriamycin and Ifosamide, for finally granting my lifelong wish for curly hair!)

 

I realized something today.  It was one of those painful “what a wretched sinner I am” moments.  I have an amazing testimony of God’s provision, goodness and faithfulness.  I have resolved to never talk about my cancer without speaking about the Lord.  So if someone comments on my haircut or my pink breast cancer sweatshirt, it is a wide-open door to tell them how good God has been to me.  Why in the world wouldn’t I tell everyone what has happened?  If I lived this out, people should see me coming and think, “Oh great, here comes cancer girl . . . God is so good . . . we’ve heard it a million times already!”

 

Are you nodding your head, thinking, “Go get ‘em, Marissa”??  Well, if you are a Christian, I’ve got news for you.  You have an amazing testimony, too.  You were dead in your sin, with a 0% chance of spiritual life aside from the work of the Holy Spirit in your heart.  (You have survived a worse prognosis than angiosarcoma!)  By no merit of your own, God has saved you from sin and death by sending His own Son to live and die in your place.  You have been promised eternal life and given every spiritual blessing in Christ.  God loves you so deeply that He makes all things work together for your good, and He is in control of every little detail.

 

Let’s get out there and tell this world what our God has done!  You have my permission to find yourself a pink sweatshirt and tell my story if it gives you an opportunity to talk with someone about Christ.  But I encourage you to think about your own story, and let’s not keep quiet!

Acts 3:8-10:  And leaping up he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God.  And all the people saw him walking and praising God, and recognized him as the one who sat at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, asking for alms.  And they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.  

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One Year Ago

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One year ago today, I was a busy and exhausted mom of three young kids.  I had absolutely no interesting medical history, and my idea of physical suffering was vomiting during my otherwise-perfectly-normal pregnancies.  I was consumed with taking care of my kids, preparing to host a baby shower for some friends, starting my Christmas shopping, and balancing my various church and community responsibilities.  It is still strange for me to look back at that version of myself, cruising through life with no way of knowing what was coming.

In the past year, I experienced God’s sustaining power and faithfulness in a new way.  I learned that my family and friends are incredible.  I benefited from the generosity of so many people, both old friends and strangers who became new friends.  I developed a greater appreciation for my husband and children.  I gained a new perspective on being intentional with my time and being thankful for what God has given.  I learned that God can be trusted, even when the outcome isn’t what we would have chosen.  His ways are perfect.

In the past year, I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer that I had never heard of until the doctor called me with the diagnosis.  I flew to Houston twelve times, spending about 14 weeks away from my children.  I received seven rounds of high-dose chemotherapy and twenty-five radiation treatments.  I had surgery (which turned out to be the easiest of all of it).  I had six CT scans and countless blood draws and several transfusions.  I spent weeks with virtually no white blood cells or platelets.  I watched my kids open their birthday gifts via webcam and cried many, many tears.

In short, it was the most difficult year of my life and the most amazing year of my life.

After almost a year of blogging on Caring Bridge, it is good to be back at my old bloggy stomping grounds.  Did I really have a Caring Bridge site?  Did I really have cancer?  It still seems surreal.  But October is bringing back a lot of memories.  The memories can be painful to process, but the overwhelming theme of my reflections on the past year is God’s faithfulness.  He kept His promise to never leave us or forsake us, and we saw that He works all things for our good and for His glory.  Therefore, we can trust Him no matter what the future holds.

Isaiah 43:1b-2:  Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.  When you pass though the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  

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My New Assignment

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I haven’t addressed on this blog where I’ve disappeared to, so I thought in case anyone is reading who doesn’t know, I should update you.  On October 25, I was diagnosed with angiosarcoma, a rare cancer in the blood vessels of my breast.  Two days later, we found out the great news that the PET scan did not show any signs of the cancer spreading.  I am be treated at MD Anderson but having chemo right now in my hometown.  After several months of chemo, I will have radiation and surgery in Houston at MD Anderson.

I know without a doubt that God has been preparing me for this difficult assignment, especially in the last couple of years and months.  My prayer is not only for complete healing, but also that the Lord will be glorified as my family and I walk through this trial.  You can follow my journey at my Caring Bridge site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/marissahenley.

God is good, and He is the same yesterday, today and forever!

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