Marissa Henley

Encouraging weary women to hope in Christ alone

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Wasted Suffering

February 14, 2010 by Marissa 1 Comment

A few weeks ago in BSF, we studied the raising of Lazarus in John 11.  Although the miracle of raising a dead man is powerful, I found the words and actions of Christ prior to going to Bethany just as impactful.  When Jesus receives word that his beloved friend is gravely ill, He replies, “This illness does not lead to death.  It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (verse 4).  Then the Scripture says that Jesus loved Mary, Martha and their brother Lazarus very much, so when He heard Lazarus was ill, He stayed where He was for two more days (verses 5-6).  From that tiny word “so,” we must infer that Jesus’ delay (and therefore Lazarus’ death) was somehow for the good of Mary, Martha and Lazarus.

In the BSF study notes for this passage, the author writes that in this miracle, God’s glory was revealed in a way that blessed all those who witnessed it.  Of course, Mary, Martha and Lazarus were blessed in a special way, and in a way they would not have experienced if Jesus had come immediately and healed Lazarus before he died.  The same is true of the suffering in our lives.  In every trial, there is a unique blessing for the believer, an opportunty for God to be glorified, and an opportunity for other believers to be encouraged by our response of trusting God even in hardship.  I learned in the BSF notes that suffering can be wasted, or it can be used to glorify God and seek the blessing He will give in that trial.

Shortly after reading this lesson, our entire family was sick.  Nothing serious, but enough to put me out of commission for three days and send us to the pediatrician multiple times in a span of 12 days.  As I lay in bed with body aches and a pounding head, my BSF lesson on wasted suffering came to mind.  Although I knew my sinus infection was a very minor hardship, I realized that not even minor suffering should be wasted.  I started to look for ways that God was blessing our family during our illness.  And God showed me several ways.  I gave thanks to God for the snow and ice that kept my husband home from work, because I never would have made it without him.  I gained renewed compassion for people who are ill.  My appreciation and love for my husband grew as I watched him take care of the kids on his own and spend quality time with them while I was sick.

I can’t tell you I spent those three days smiling toward Heaven, singing praise songs and meditating on God’s goodness.  I did plenty of complaining and feeling sorry for myself and wishing things were different.  Looking back, I can see that the difference between the moments of wasting the suffering and not wasting the suffering was a matter of my focus.  When my eyes were on myself and my misery, I moaned and groaned and complained.  When my eyes were on God and His glory, I could see the ways He was blessing and providing for me and my family.

I don’t share this out of pride.  I don’t think that having a few moments of thankfulness in the midst of a sinus infection is anything to boast about.  But I’m thankful that God provided this small test, an opportunity to apply and reinforce what I’m learning in His Word.  I want God to be glorified by my life, no matter what the circumstances.  I don’t want to waste opportunities to learn more about God’s character and draw closer to my Savior.  Even if that means seeing the good in a really, really runny nose.

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Perspective

May 2, 2008 by Marissa Leave a Comment

I have several friends’ blogs and other websites I enjoy reading, and I try to keep up with them as best I can.  But there are two blogs that I read faithfully every day.  Brad and Laura Grammer are friends of ours from Indy, and Laura is struggling with leukemia.  Drew Christy is the nephew of another Indy friend, and he has been in a coma since a car accident on February 22.  Brad, Laura, and Drew’s mom are all Christians, and the way they rely on Christ through their heart-wrenching circumstances is both convicting and inspiring for me.

I know it is cliche, but I think it is important for me to remember how truly easy and comfortable my life is right now.  It is so easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking that my life as a stay-at-home mom of two small boys is incredibly difficult.  But reading about the suffering of the Grammers and the Christys reminds me to be thankful for what I have.  I complain when my kids are sick, because it means that I am stuck at home with them, listening to their whining all day long.  But when Laura’s kids are sick, she has to go stay somewhere else and cannot see her kids because their germs could be dangerous for her.  And Drew’s mom has been waiting for over 2 months for her son to wake up and talk, and she would probably give anything to hear him complain about something.

Staying home with two little boys is not suffering.  Having a husband who works past 5 p.m. most days is not suffering.  Not having money to buy new furniture is not suffering.  Dealing with potty training and disobedience and whining most of the day is not suffering.  Even dealing with seemingly never-ending diarrhea is not suffering.  And not liking how I look in my jeans is definitely not suffering.  But I’m embarrassed to admit that most days, I think and act and talk like it is.

In addition to praying for healing for Laura and Drew, I’ve been asking God to give me a better perspective on suffering and gratitude for the life He’s given me.  Ever since my friend Linda, Drew’s aunt, reminded me how much Drew’s mom would love to have her son chasing her and screaming while she tries to cook dinner, I’ve been a little more patient with my kids.  I’ve tried to view each day with them as a gift and enjoy them more.  We never know what God has planned for us, so I want to be committed to making the most of this relatively easy time to teach my children and prepare my own heart to suffer for Christ’s sake.

The bottom line is that I can always find someone who is ahead or behind me on the suffering scale.  My attitude should be the same no matter what God gives:  reliance on Christ alone for my daily needs and gratitude for the ultimate gift of salvation that He’s given.  I hope that God is glorified by my easy life in some way even as I see Him glorified tremendously in the life and faith of the Grammers and the Christys.  Would you join me in praying for them?

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“Calm My Anxious Heart” part 2

February 6, 2008 by Marissa 1 Comment

I have been married for almost ten years to my high school sweetheart, a man who loves Christ and seeks to walk with Him daily. He treats me fabulously, praises me for completing mundane tasks like laundry, and gives me sympathy after a tough day with the kids. I have two sons, Christopher and Will, who are healthy, adorable, sweethearts. They are eager to please, often play well together, and say hilarious things all the time. I have the privilege of staying home with them every day. I love teaching them about Jesus and hearing Christopher’s insightful questions about God. I have a gorgeous house that has more space than we need. I have a huge Jacuzzi tub and a fabulous kitchen with cabinets I can’t even fill. My husband has a job that he loves, and his income provides enough money to pay our bills.

On the other hand, I have been married for almost ten years, which means most of the romance vanished a long time ago. I wish my husband would get home from work earlier, help more with the housework and lavish me with romantic gifts. I have squeezed two 9+ pound babies from my body after enduring vomit-filled pregnancies. Now that they are almost 2- and 4-year-olds, the boys are constantly moving, frequently whining, and often hitting, screaming, and grabbing the other’s toys. My house is too big, and I can never get it all clean at one time. I have nothing on my walls because I can’t afford anything nice right now. The list of things I want for the house and can’t afford is extensive. By the time I finish what I need to do in the evenings, I’d like to take a bath in my Jacuzzi tub but that just means having to clean it later, and I can’t reach all the way around it without doing some serious yoga-like moves.

Those two paragraphs, two very different ways of looking at my life, are an adaptation of how Linda Dillow begins the second chapter of Calm My Anxious Heart, “Content with Circumstances.” Dillow’s is a much more interesting account of the years she spent living in Hong Kong. It struck me as I read the first half and then the second–two very different ways of looking at the very same circumstances. I was encouraged to do the same and wrote a more detailed description than I’ve included here. As I feel discontentment creeping in, it is because I’m choosing to focus on the negative description of my circumstances, and I remind myself to switch my thinking to the positive. I highly recommend writing out these descriptions of your own life, or at least jotting down some bullet points to come back to when you’re feeling discontented.

Dillow draws on Philippians 4:6-9 in this chapter on contentment with circumstances. She describes verse 6 as “our part”: to choose to pray with thanksgiving rather than give in to anxiety. The result will be “God’s part” (verse 7): He will guard our hearts and minds with His peace.

Philippians 4:8-9 exhorts us to think about that which is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent and praiseworthy. This means focusing on the first paragraph of my life’s description, not the second; mediating on the greatness of God’s love for me rather than the things I think I’m lacking. Dillow writes: “We become what we think. Our thought life–not our circumstances–determines whether we are content” (p. 32). She references Proverbs 23:7 (KJV) and 2 Corinthians 10:5 to prove this point. I love the mental picture in 2 Corinthians about taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ. Many of my circumstances are out of my control, but by the power of the Holy Spirit, I can choose to respond with contentment rather than selfish grumbling. I often think that when my circumstances change, I will be more content. But the truth is, when I take control of my thought life and make it obedient to Christ, peace and contentment will follow.

Today, God gave me the opportunity to apply these truths, along with lessons from this week’s passage for BSF. We were studying the feeding of the 4,000 in Matthew 15:32-38. One of the lessons I learned from this passage is that God will supply every one of our needs, even if it requires a miracle–He can and will do it! Conversely, if I don’t have something, it must mean that God knows I don’t need it. This week, the one thing I thought I needed was for both of my kids to make it to preschool/mother’s day out so I could have a day to myself and do several things I need to do without the kids. This afternoon, Will started running a temperature of 102, replacing my dream of drinking Starbucks and test driving minivans with the reality of taking a sick, cranky 2-year-old to the pediatrician. I can’t say I passed this test with flying colors–I complained about it this afternoon to anyone who would listen (breaking the rules of my previous post). But I acknowledged to Noel that God must have decided that I didn’t need that day to myself, even if I thought I did. I will choose to be thankful for the time I will get to spend with Will tomorrow and the privilege of being his mom. I will be thankful that we can afford to go to the pediatrician (and that my friend Lynette can afford an ear monitor that let me know I should take him). And I will continue to pray that both kids will be healthy so they can go to school next week. 🙂

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I write to remind myself of the truth of God's promises. I share my writing here in case you need to be reminded sometimes, too.

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Last Thursday I left my oldest child on a college Last Thursday I left my oldest child on a college campus. It was such a hard day, but I knew my friends were praying for me, and the Lord was sustaining me. 

I know there are many moms walking through this transition in the coming weeks, and I'd love to pray for you. Drop a 🤍 and maybe your "see you later" date in the comments if you need prayer, or tag a friend you're praying for as she takes her child to college. Let's pray each other through this, friends! 

(P.S. I see you, kindergarten mamas! We can adapt this prayer for you, too. We older moms remember that having your child away at school for the day is a tough transition as well! ❤️)

#prayer #praying #prayers #momlife #backtoschool #christianreels #christianreel #christianmom #christianmoms #christianmomlife #womenoftheword #womenoffaith #womenofprayer
I have the privilege of pointing our eyes to the t I have the privilege of pointing our eyes to the truth of Christ's victory today in the @first5app - there's a link in my bio if you'd like to read more! ❤️

Posted @withregram • @first5app In the unfolding military drama of Judges 7, Gideon’s army looks like the ultimate underdog. Three hundred men with trumpets, torches, and jars were ready to face the massive Midianite army and their swords. Each soldier was placed there by the Lord and stood still while the Lord brought chaos to the enemy. The Israelites’ stationary status demonstrated to all that their victory was the Lord’s work. 

Just as God acted to give His people victory over this enemy, He sent His Son to provide us with eternal victory over our spiritual enemies. 

Do you feel like an underdog today, burdened by temptation or fearful of this fallen world? Maybe your spiritual enemies loom large, and you’re not sure you have much fight left. If you have placed your trust in Christ, the Truth of Christ’s victory has transformed you from an underdog to a conqueror, now and forever. 

-@marissa.henley #First5

How does the truth of Jesus’ victory encourage you in an area where you feel like an underdog today?
Have you ever watched a movie and realized that a Have you ever watched a movie and realized that a character you thought was a good guy was really the most terrible of the bad guys? It’s even worse when the other characters don’t know the truth. You feel a pit in your stomach as you see one of your favorite characters run to someone she thinks is safe, only to find out she’s turned to the wrong person for help. You hope she figures out who’s truly on her side before it’s too late! 

For the past month, we’ve walked through Psalm 34 together. We’ve seen how David praises the Lord in all circumstances and how the Lord delivers and provides. 

In the final verses of the psalm, we find the foundation of all the truth, thanksgiving, and praise of Psalm 34: None who take refuge in God will be condemned. When we run to Him for salvation, we won’t find out later that we’ve made a mistake. We’re safe in the grace and mercy of our Savior. 

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.” (Psalm 34:19-22) 

These verses point us to Christ, the One who delivers us from death by His death. Our afflictions are many, but they are nothing compared to the affliction Jesus suffered on the cross as He bore the punishment our sin deserved. 

Because He took God’s wrath for us, our Lord and Redeemer is now our safe refuge. As Romans 8:1 declares, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” When you feel weighed down by affliction and fear, take refuge in the One who died to redeem your life. He is our Deliverer, our Redeemer, and our Protector. 

No matter what you face this week, those who run to God find safe refuge in Him. 

P.S. It's time for summer break! I'll be taking a break from posting devotionals for a few months. I plan to return to No Matter What Monday in the fall. 😊
It was 4:15a.m., and I was having a pity party. It was 4:15a.m., and I was having a pity party. 

It doesn’t happen often (if it did, this devotional would include an advertisement for a free dog), but occasionally our dog decides he needs to go potty around 4 a.m. When Samson started pacing around our room and then scratching at the door, I was forced to abandon my hours of uninterrupted sleep and let him out. 

I fumed as I got back in bed. I wasn’t just angry at Samson—I was mad at God. “Don’t you know how tired I am, God? Don’t you know I needed sleep tonight?” 

But then God’s Word flooded my mind, and I remembered that God is sovereign over all the details of my life—even dog’s bladders. He doesn’t withhold anything I need, and all that He allows is for my good. My anger subsided, and I eventually drifted off to sleep for a few more hours. 

It’s one thing to find comfort in God’s sovereignty in the minor annoyances of life like a dog needing to potty in the middle of the night. But what about in the major hardships? Even in a cancer diagnosis, looming layoffs at work, or a difficult relationship, God’s sovereign care is an anchor we can cling to. 

We’ve been walking through Psalm 34 for the past couple of weeks. In today’s verses, David proclaims the perfect provision of the Lord: 

“Oh fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” (Psalm 34:9-10)

David made a bold statement here - that those who fear God lack nothing. There is nothing that is good for us that our heavenly Father withholds. 

In His wisdom, God knows what we need. In His goodness, He desires to care for our needs. In His sovereignty, He is fully able to give us all that we need. We can trust Him to be the God on the throne who sees and knows and cares for each of His children. Those who are His lack no good thing. 

No matter what you face this week, you can rest in God’s sovereign care.
This week we’re continuing through Psalm 34. Las This week we’re continuing through Psalm 34. Last week, we saw how David always found a reason to praise the Lord. And as we keep reading, we see David praise God specifically for deliverance from his fears. 

“I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.” (Psalm 34:4-7)

When David wrote this psalm, his deliverance hadn’t happened yet. He was still on the run from Saul, a mighty king who was filled with murderous rage toward David. And yet, David trusted the Lord to deliver Him either in life or in death. 

When we’re waiting for deliverance for our troubles, this psalm gives us both an example and an encouragement. As an example, David took his fears to the Lord. He ran to God with his troubles. He sought the Lord, looked to Him, cried out to Him, and lived in His presence. 

Psalm 34 also gives us encouragement as we see that the Lord heard, answered, and delivered David. God sees our troubles and is not deaf to our prayers when we cry out to Him. Psalm 34:17 tells us that God’s eyes and ears are focused on us. He knows every struggle we face. 

God knows, and He delivers. In 2 Corinthians, Paul says, “He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again” (2 Corinthians 1:10). Not only does God deliver every once in awhile, but God rescues from all our fears. (Psalm 34:4) Our heavenly Father is more powerful than any enemy we face—even death. 

When we cry out to the Lord and when our hope of deliverance is in Him, we will radiate His joy and peace. Our “faces shall never be ashamed” because hope that is grounded in God’s promises will never disappoint (Psalm 34:5). Our troubles may not vanish, but the Lord is our Savior and Deliverer. 

No matter what you face this week, the Lord will hear you and deliver you.
One night several years ago at the dinner table, I One night several years ago at the dinner table, I asked my kids to share something they liked about each of their siblings. I thought it would be a beautiful time of encouragement. Will gazed at Christopher, deep in thought, and said, “What I like best about Christopher is that he isn’t very funny.” 

Do you ever struggle to praise the Lord? Maybe, like my son at the dinner table, you look at Him and think, “I’m not sure I can see much to praise right now.” 

This month we are going to make our way through Psalm 34, and we’ll see how David praised God even when his circumstances didn’t leave much to feel thankful for. King Saul wanted to kill him, so David was running for his life, hiding in caves, and trying to stay undercover by acting insane when someone recognized him. (See 1 Samuel 21.)

And yet, David began Psalm 34 with these words: 
 
“I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!” (Psalm 34:1-3)

David said that he had God’s praise constantly on his lips. Even though his circumstances were challenging and discouraging, he called to mind all that the Lord had done in the past. Maybe he thought about how God delivered the Israelites from Egypt. Maybe he remembered when God chose him, youngest son of a family from nowhere, to be the next king of Israel. 

What can you praise God for today? How has He shown His love, goodness, and faithfulness to you? 

Even in the darkest days, we can turn our eyes to the cross of Christ and the empty tomb and remember how Jesus secured our salvation with His life, death, and resurrection. We can turn our eyes to heaven and look forward to the glory that is waiting because of what He’s done for us. We can trust His promise to be with us every moment and praise Him for His presence and faithfulness today. 

No matter what you face this week, you always have a reason to praise the Lord.
Last January after Georgia won the college footbal Last January after Georgia won the college football national championship (sorry, Alabama fans!), I saw a photo of a man wearing a Georgia football jersey, standing with his arms raised and mouth wide open, as if shouting in triumph. He was surrounded by people who were smiling, crying, and hugging each other. 

This man wasn’t a Georgia football player celebrating at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis after their win. He was a fan at a watch party hundreds of miles away in Georgia. But he so closely identified with his favorite team that he celebrated their victory as if it was his own. 

For the past few weeks, we’ve been making our way through the Easter hymn, “Worship Christ the Risen King.” Today we’re looking at the final verse: 

“We acclaim your life, O Jesus, now we sing your victory;
Sin or hell may see, to seize us, but your conquest keeps us free.
Stand in triumph, stand in triumph, worship Christ, the risen King!” 

The victory Jesus won over sin, death, hell, and the devil isn’t just a victory for Him. If we’ve been united to Christ by faith, the victory is ours as well. We stand with Him in triumph, freed by His victory. 

Consider what God’s Word says about our victory with Him: 

“The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Cor. 15:56-57)

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? . . . No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.“ (Romans 8:35, 37)

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, Jesus speaking)

“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” (1 John 5:4)

Because of God’s grace, we share in Christ’s victory. We are free. We are more than conquerors. We can have courage and peace in all circumstances, because our Savior has overcome the world. 

No matter what you face this week, you share in Christ’s victory.
“He is risen! He is risen indeed!” This is a p “He is risen! He is risen indeed!” This is a popular refrain on Easter Sunday, but it’s also the way my church family starts the worship service every Sunday. We may be so used to hearing it that we forget that this is a massive, world-altering claim. 

If this statement is true—if Christ is truly risen—that truth changes everything. It gives purpose to our lives and our worship, and that purpose endures even when we struggle and doubt. 

This month we’ve been looking at the verses of an Easter hymn called “Worship Christ the Risen King.” This week we’re looking at the fourth verse of the hymn: 

“Doubt may lift its head to murmur, scoffers mock and sinners jeer;
But the truth proclaims a wonder thoughtful hearts received with cheer.
He is risen, he is risen, now receive the risen King!” 

We sometimes struggle with our faith because of doubts we have on the inside or because of attacks on our faith from the outside. But either way, the truth of His resurrection brings comfort and confidence. 

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he makes it clear that if Christ is not risen, the Christian faith is pointless: 

“And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” (1 Corinthians 15:17-19) 

Our Christian faith isn’t just a crutch to use to get through life in this fallen world. Jesus wasn’t just a good teacher or a prophet. The gospel isn’t a myth we use to make sense of the world around us. 

Our faith is based on an empty tomb of the Son of God who came to live and die for us. Jesus rose again on the third day, proving that He was who He said He was. 

“But the angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay.’” (Matthew 28:5-6) 

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! 

No matter what you face this week, Christ’s resurrection gives comfort and confidence.
One of our family’s favorite games is a card gam One of our family’s favorite games is a card game called Unstable Unicorns. It’s so fun, but the twists in the game can be infuriating. You’ll be close to victory, feeling like no one can stand in your way, and then one of your kids turns all your unicorns to pandas and snatches victory from your grasp. 

I imagine that in the days leading up to Jesus’s crucifixion, Satan thought victory was about to be his. Jesus was betrayed by one of His closest friends. He was arrested, mocked, beaten, and hung on a cross to die a humiliating, agonizing death. But the devil’s moment of victory turned out to be his humiliation and defeat.

This month we’re walking through the verses of an Easter hymn, “Worship Christ the Risen King.” Last week’s verses described Christ’s victory over death and hell. The next verse describes His decisive victory over the devil: 

“Hear the earth protest and tremble, see the stone removed with pow’r;
All hell’s minions may assemble, but cannot withstand his hour.
He has conquered, he has conquered, Christ the Lord, the risen King!”

Paul wrote about this victory in his letter to the Colossians.

“This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.” (Col. 2:14b-15) 

According to the ESV Study Bible, “The cross of Christ marks the decisive defeat of the demonic powers . . . they were stripped of their power to accuse Christians before God.” The death and resurrection of Jesus proved that Satan and his demons couldn’t stop God’s plan of redemption. We still battle against the forces of evil in this world, but they’ve been publicly put to shame by the cross of our Savior.

The author of Hebrews described it this way:

“. . . [Jesus] himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.” (Heb. 2:14-15)

The devil’s power has been destroyed. We’ve been delivered. The one who enslaved us in fear has been defeated by our risen King!

No matter what you face this week, Christ has disarmed the devil.
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